Chloe won Project Runway! (i knew she would) (i kept saying it) (i'm always right)
Folks, this was a NAIL. BITER. In the pre-finale, Daniel was told he was too safe (read: boring), Satino heard that he was too dangerous (read: garish) and Chloe was told she lacked passion. They're given $8000 and a couple months to create a 12-item line to show at Fashion Week. Santino decides to be less garish, Chloe decides to show them savvy + moxie = passion, and Daniel keeps designing beautiful, well-tailored garments disguised as sleeping pills. 2 days before Go Time, Heidi, having just produced a human being from out her belly, decides that the designers can surely make a 13th piece for their line, and they can pick one of the loser designers to help. Santino goes all ostrich on us so Andrae (God bless him) basically makes the whole thing. It was cute, but that's about it. Nick and Daniel come up with a very cool shift dress with pockets (i've always said that dresses with pockets rocked) (i'm always right) and Chloe and Miss Diana, Goddess of Nerds, make a really cool baby doll dress with.... pockets!
Day of Judgement: Daniel can't find his weird purses anywhere! Tim says 'Maybe the universe is trying to tell you what i told you last week.' But he finds them. Daniel: 1, Universe: 0, Tim: 3 bajillion forever. Santino runs around sewing his models into the dresses, Chloe goes diva all over the hair and makeup monkeys and Kallie buries her head in the couch pillow from all the stress!
Daniel's line is first. It's clean, classic, and not very interesting. (somewhere, Winter throws nail polish at her monitor at work) Plus, his model du jour, Pinchy Face Rebecca, can't even walk in the 9 mile gown he made for her!
Chloe's is next. Also a little on the 'Seen It' side of creative, but her fabric choices are better than Daniel's and she's a whiz with interesting seams. Alot of gowns.
Santino introduces his line by saying 'i'm not just good tv, i'm a great designer.' i really liked his collection, but the tailoring was nowhere near Daniel and Chloe's. There was alot of good texture and it was definitely the most interesting, but not cohesive.
The judges eliminated Santino first, then Daniel. In my opinion, Santino's collection was better than Daniel's, and Chloe deserved to win, so i guess despite that minor disagreement Heidi and i can still be bffs. i was disappointed with all three collections, none of them lived up to Jay's final Runway from Season 1, but i guess we'll have to remedy that with Season 3! (you're stoked, i can tell)
March 09, 2006
March 08, 2006
This is what happens...
...when you merely HIDE the pin cushion from the cat under piles of fabric, and don't lock it in your gun safe behind the bookcase in the secret room. He somehow finds it and manages to remove almost every pin with his mouth right before you come home from work. Why? No reason. i think i would actually feel better about it if he was actually trying to EAT the pins, as i feared he was the first time he stalked and tackled the pin cushion, but no. He just likes to pull them out and drop them on the carpet. Genius also managed to pull out the few needles too, and i'm not sure how considering they don't have a big yellow ball on the end to grab. So if i'm only wearing half a dress in Whitney's wedding you'll know it was because i've spent the past few months crawling around the carpet putting pins away.
Top 5 Reasons i LOVE 'To Wong Foo'
Way back in 1995, Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes and little Johnny Leguizamo did a goofy movie called To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar. It's about 3 drag queens who get stuck in a tiny town and teach the yokels what true fabulousness is. It was on last night and i was reminded of how much i love it, so here's why:Fantastic performances from all 3. (Swayze and Leguizamo got Golden Globe nominations) Even when Vida is beating the tar out of Virgil 'she' is the epitome of a lady.
Wesley Snipes. He's a huge black man, but he works it in drag. And the subplot about his character, Ms. Noxeema Jackson, befriending the tiniest little old lady in town is great.
The local romance: "Bobby Lee?" "Yes, Bobby Ray?" Cracks me up every time.
It's a run-of-the-mill feel good/happy ending comedy, which everyone needs once in a while.
When the Queens are leaving Hicksville, the emotional pinnacle comes when Stockard Channing tells Vida "I don't think of you as a man, and I don't think of you as a woman either. I think of you as an angel." To which Vida responds, "And I think that's healthy."
March 05, 2006
Movie Review: 8 Below
Starring eight fluffy dogs, a really scary leopard seal, and Paul Walker
I wanted to see this movie ever since i saw the trailer before Chicken Little! It's the story of 8 sled dogs that get left behind at an Antarctic camp after their humans have to hurry away and seek medical attention, fully intending to come back a few days later and retrieve the dogs before Winter sets in. Unfortunately, the biggest storm in 25 years prevents anyone from going to Antarctica, so Jerry can't go back and get his 8 buddies. Since he had planned to come right back, Jerry left them chained up outside with no food, so the dogs have to get themselves unchained and fed.
The story was based on actual events, but of course everything that takes place with the dogs is pure speculation, but i think Disney did alright. The dogs learn how to catch birds for food, and luck out in finding a killer whale carcass, except the dead whale is literally inhabited by what is now my biggest fear: a leopard seal. Cue awesome chase and fight scene. Max The Dog plays decoy with the Scary Leopard Seal so his doggie buddies can get some whale grub, and Scary Leopard Seal decides the best way to chase Max is to dive under the ice and stalk the doggie shadow running around over him. SO. SCARY. !!!!!
The film cuts back and forth between the dogs struggling to survive and Jerry struggling to find some way to get back to Antarctica. Paul Walker, while easy on the eyes, is not the best actor. But this one was hard to mess up, and i thought he did alright. He played it more about frustration and responsibility and not self-pity. He also had the classic 'boy and his dog' thing working in his favor. The other humans in the cast were alright, doing the best they could with a Disney script. Poor Jason Biggs was the bumbling, goofy best friend and it was painful at times. (Think Jar-Jar Binks.) i felt bad for him.
Anyway, it's a Disney movie so you know Jerry's gonna find a way to Antarctica and you know at least the majority, if not all, of the dogs will survive. What's crazy is that they spent something like 6 months down there on their own! Yes, it was a tear jerker on more than one occasion, and yes, there were some really cheesy Disney-esque moments (are there Northern Lights at the bottom of the world? i didn't think so, but i could be wrong) but it was a good moviegoing experience. i'm not the least bit surprised that this was #1 at the box office, everyone likes a good survival story. 3.8 out of 5 thawed paws.
I wanted to see this movie ever since i saw the trailer before Chicken Little! It's the story of 8 sled dogs that get left behind at an Antarctic camp after their humans have to hurry away and seek medical attention, fully intending to come back a few days later and retrieve the dogs before Winter sets in. Unfortunately, the biggest storm in 25 years prevents anyone from going to Antarctica, so Jerry can't go back and get his 8 buddies. Since he had planned to come right back, Jerry left them chained up outside with no food, so the dogs have to get themselves unchained and fed.
The story was based on actual events, but of course everything that takes place with the dogs is pure speculation, but i think Disney did alright. The dogs learn how to catch birds for food, and luck out in finding a killer whale carcass, except the dead whale is literally inhabited by what is now my biggest fear: a leopard seal. Cue awesome chase and fight scene. Max The Dog plays decoy with the Scary Leopard Seal so his doggie buddies can get some whale grub, and Scary Leopard Seal decides the best way to chase Max is to dive under the ice and stalk the doggie shadow running around over him. SO. SCARY. !!!!!
The film cuts back and forth between the dogs struggling to survive and Jerry struggling to find some way to get back to Antarctica. Paul Walker, while easy on the eyes, is not the best actor. But this one was hard to mess up, and i thought he did alright. He played it more about frustration and responsibility and not self-pity. He also had the classic 'boy and his dog' thing working in his favor. The other humans in the cast were alright, doing the best they could with a Disney script. Poor Jason Biggs was the bumbling, goofy best friend and it was painful at times. (Think Jar-Jar Binks.) i felt bad for him.
Anyway, it's a Disney movie so you know Jerry's gonna find a way to Antarctica and you know at least the majority, if not all, of the dogs will survive. What's crazy is that they spent something like 6 months down there on their own! Yes, it was a tear jerker on more than one occasion, and yes, there were some really cheesy Disney-esque moments (are there Northern Lights at the bottom of the world? i didn't think so, but i could be wrong) but it was a good moviegoing experience. i'm not the least bit surprised that this was #1 at the box office, everyone likes a good survival story. 3.8 out of 5 thawed paws.
March 01, 2006
From someone to Charlie to Matt to ME
Instructions: Use the picture you like best from the first page of the search results on Google Image.
1. The city and state of the town you grew up, no quotation marks: Redding, CA
1. The city and state of the town you grew up, no quotation marks: Redding, CA
6. Your favorite drink: Dr. Pepper
February 24, 2006
Top Repeats
Top 5 Movies i Could Watch On Repeat For An Entire Weekend
Johnny English
Amelie
Dodgeball
La Vita E Bella
Tea With Mussolini
Top 5 Albums i Could Listen To On Repeat For An Entire Workday
Tchaikovsky's Greatest Hits
The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill
King of I'll Tell You Next Week
Hell Freezes Over
The Cold Mountain Soundtrack
Top 5 Foods i Could Eat For Dinner Every Night Of The Week
Pepperoni pizza
Josh's cornflake chicken
Oh!s cereal
Lasagna
Wonton soup & prawns from Sailing Boat
Top 5 Things i Could Do Every Weekend For An Entire Summer
Nap
Nap & read
Nap & read while Josh plays Madden
*Go to friends' weddings... wait a minute, this IS what i'll be doing every weekend this summer...
*Do my Christmas shopping
(* assuming i have $ in the bank)
Johnny English
Amelie
Dodgeball
La Vita E Bella
Tea With Mussolini
Top 5 Albums i Could Listen To On Repeat For An Entire Workday
Tchaikovsky's Greatest Hits
The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill
King of I'll Tell You Next Week
Hell Freezes Over
The Cold Mountain Soundtrack
Top 5 Foods i Could Eat For Dinner Every Night Of The Week
Pepperoni pizza
Josh's cornflake chicken
Oh!s cereal
Lasagna
Wonton soup & prawns from Sailing Boat
Top 5 Things i Could Do Every Weekend For An Entire Summer
Nap
Nap & read
Nap & read while Josh plays Madden
*Go to friends' weddings... wait a minute, this IS what i'll be doing every weekend this summer...
*Do my Christmas shopping
(* assuming i have $ in the bank)
February 22, 2006
excerpt
(From "Genetic Engineering" in Me Talk Pretty One Day, by Dave Sedaris)
It was my family's habit to rent a beach house on Ocean Isle. As youngsters, we participated in all the usual seaside activities -- which were fun, until my father got involved and systematically chipped away at our pleasure. Miniature golf was ruined with a lengthy dissertation on impact, trajectory, and wind velocity, and our sand castles were critiqued with stifling lectures on the dynamics of the vaulted ceiling. We enjoyed swimming, until the mystery of tides was explained in such a way that the ocean seemed nothing more than an enormous saltwater toilet, flushing itself on a sad and predictable basis.
...My own scientific curiousity eventually blossomed, but I knew enough to keep my freakish experiments to myself. When my father discovered my colony of frozen slugs in the basement freezer, I chose not to explain my complex theories of suspended animation. Why was I filling the hamster's water beaker with vodka? "Oh, no reason." If my experiment failed, and the drunken hamster passed out, I'd just put her in the deep freeze, alongside the slugs. She'd rest on ice for a few months, and, once thawed and fully revived, would remember nothing of her previous life as an alcoholic.
It was my family's habit to rent a beach house on Ocean Isle. As youngsters, we participated in all the usual seaside activities -- which were fun, until my father got involved and systematically chipped away at our pleasure. Miniature golf was ruined with a lengthy dissertation on impact, trajectory, and wind velocity, and our sand castles were critiqued with stifling lectures on the dynamics of the vaulted ceiling. We enjoyed swimming, until the mystery of tides was explained in such a way that the ocean seemed nothing more than an enormous saltwater toilet, flushing itself on a sad and predictable basis.
...My own scientific curiousity eventually blossomed, but I knew enough to keep my freakish experiments to myself. When my father discovered my colony of frozen slugs in the basement freezer, I chose not to explain my complex theories of suspended animation. Why was I filling the hamster's water beaker with vodka? "Oh, no reason." If my experiment failed, and the drunken hamster passed out, I'd just put her in the deep freeze, alongside the slugs. She'd rest on ice for a few months, and, once thawed and fully revived, would remember nothing of her previous life as an alcoholic.
February 17, 2006
Coooooooool!
My aunt Cindy drew this on a Sacramento sidewalk last Labor Day weekend for the Chalk It Up benefit.
February 15, 2006
February 13, 2006
in all his feline glory
It's been a while since we posted a picture of Cosmo, so here are some good ones.
February 12, 2006
Lesson Learned
Last week my boss decided we should go to a $50/ticket 'Get Motivated!' seminar at Arco Arena, but not park in the Arco lot b/c that $10 parking fee was just too much to reimburse. So i parked in a shopping center, then walked the 94 miles to Arco. Of course, having no sense of direction and being in a hurry to leave after 7 hours of ZERO motivation, i left out the wrong entrance and walked for 45 minutes trying to find my car. i ended up with 4 blisters and i'm pretty sure the gangrene that is sure to set in from this one will end up costing me more than $10. Moral of the story: pay attention to which Arco door you walked thru, but more importantly, don't listen to your boss when he tells your non-profit office that a 'Get Motivated!' seminar is just the thing to boost your not-profiting. February 10, 2006
Top 5 x 2
TOP 5 THINGS BOYS SHOULD DO FOR GIRLS FOR VALENTINE'S DAY
FYI- i'm not into Valentine's Day, but if people decide they want to focus on love for a day, i'm not going to argue. i just think it should be voluntary, not obligatory.
-Make her a chocolate cake in lieu of Sees or Russel Stovers. Properly dispose of the Betty Crocker box and she'll never know it wasn't from scratch. The effort you put into it will be very appreciated, especially if you're not a kitchen-y kind of guy.
-Get her a pony. Or a pony ride. Or a miniature donkey. Or just stop by a petting zoo on your way home from PF Chang's and let her hold a bunny.
-Flowers are nice, but the dying kind...not so much. You can spend $80 on 12 cut roses or buy a $19 planter from Mitchell Lumber and fill it with dirt and (insert her favorite flowers here). Got a vindictive, plant-mauling kitty? Go the funky route with steel flowers.
-Make it a night in. Rent or Netflix an entire season of her favorite show and watch it with her while you enjoy your fantastic chocolate cake.
-Is she not big on Valentine's Day? Throw a party! Do all the cleaning, cooking and prep work and invite all those friends that are either too cynical, broke, or single to celebrate. She'll appreciate a fun night with friends and the effort you put into it. Don't forget that you're doing the clean-up too!
TOP 5 REASONS ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT IS TOO GOOD FOR THIS EARTH
-The army is always just 'army', never 'the army'. i.e. "Army had a half day."
-Tobias as a 'never nude' and the fact that it's not something like speedos that he wears under all his clothes, but denim cut-offs.
-Ron Howard narrates.
-It broke the 'Charlize Theron as an unglamorous and/or tortured soul' cycle and let her be hilarious.
-Franklin the Puppet.
FYI- i'm not into Valentine's Day, but if people decide they want to focus on love for a day, i'm not going to argue. i just think it should be voluntary, not obligatory.
-Make her a chocolate cake in lieu of Sees or Russel Stovers. Properly dispose of the Betty Crocker box and she'll never know it wasn't from scratch. The effort you put into it will be very appreciated, especially if you're not a kitchen-y kind of guy.
-Get her a pony. Or a pony ride. Or a miniature donkey. Or just stop by a petting zoo on your way home from PF Chang's and let her hold a bunny.
-Flowers are nice, but the dying kind...not so much. You can spend $80 on 12 cut roses or buy a $19 planter from Mitchell Lumber and fill it with dirt and (insert her favorite flowers here). Got a vindictive, plant-mauling kitty? Go the funky route with steel flowers.
-Make it a night in. Rent or Netflix an entire season of her favorite show and watch it with her while you enjoy your fantastic chocolate cake.
-Is she not big on Valentine's Day? Throw a party! Do all the cleaning, cooking and prep work and invite all those friends that are either too cynical, broke, or single to celebrate. She'll appreciate a fun night with friends and the effort you put into it. Don't forget that you're doing the clean-up too!
TOP 5 REASONS ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT IS TOO GOOD FOR THIS EARTH
-The army is always just 'army', never 'the army'. i.e. "Army had a half day."
-Tobias as a 'never nude' and the fact that it's not something like speedos that he wears under all his clothes, but denim cut-offs.
-Ron Howard narrates.
-It broke the 'Charlize Theron as an unglamorous and/or tortured soul' cycle and let her be hilarious.
-Franklin the Puppet.
February 09, 2006
Chico-Choco-Cake
This is a belated post featuring the chocolate birthday cake we scored in Chico for my grandad's sweet 16 birthday. Grandma sent us home with what i'm pretty sure was 90% of what was already a big cake and, although it's not pictured, a plastic fork that came in handy when we didn't want to do the dishes before pigging out.
February 03, 2006
Top 5 Things That Scare the Bejesus Out of Me
Of course the usual 'scary things' scare me, like chainsaw-weilding loonies, but here are the 5 'weird' things that freak me out.
The Olson Twins. i'm convinced they're aliens, and not the fun 'Mork' type of aliens, the really evil, smart type that can control your mind. i think they might have been the inspiration for Signs.
Eels. i didn't realize this until we went to the Monterey Aquarium with the Rostens last year. When i saw the eels i felt an intense, physical sense of fear unlike anything else.
Paper cuts. My palms are sweating just thinking about them.
Moths. Disgusting, weird, furry-insects! But also SCARY. i blame Silence of the Lambs and the whole 'death's head moth in the throat' thing.
Cars with only one headlight. Okay, this one doesn't always scare me, but one time i saw such a vehicle and got a very strange, premonition-y feeling, and then it pulled up next me and there was a scary/gross man inside who kept staring at me, and ever since then i've been freaked by one-headlighters.
The Olson Twins. i'm convinced they're aliens, and not the fun 'Mork' type of aliens, the really evil, smart type that can control your mind. i think they might have been the inspiration for Signs.Eels. i didn't realize this until we went to the Monterey Aquarium with the Rostens last year. When i saw the eels i felt an intense, physical sense of fear unlike anything else.
Paper cuts. My palms are sweating just thinking about them.
Moths. Disgusting, weird, furry-insects! But also SCARY. i blame Silence of the Lambs and the whole 'death's head moth in the throat' thing.
Cars with only one headlight. Okay, this one doesn't always scare me, but one time i saw such a vehicle and got a very strange, premonition-y feeling, and then it pulled up next me and there was a scary/gross man inside who kept staring at me, and ever since then i've been freaked by one-headlighters.
January 28, 2006
1-800-FREE-411
For those of you who enjoy the convenience of dialing 411 for information but hate the service charges, try 1-800-FREE-411 instead and aviod service charges!
January 27, 2006
Hurricane Zu-LAME-a
Sometimes things work out exactly as they should, even in reality tv.
Last week on Project Runway, Zulema narrowly won the 'Thin Ice' challenge over the more deserving, and less obnoxious, Chloe. (i blame you Sasha Cohen! a curse on your next triple lutz!) This week she used her victory to stage a walk-off between the models and then steals Nick's model/muse Tarah, thus sticking Nick with her old model, Rachel, aka 'Elongated Marshmallow With Gumby Legs.' (ouch, Tim Gunn, very ouch) Rachel gets a gold medal for dealing with Zulema's butt-baring sweater dress and what can only be described as 'Adventures in Ruching', all to get dumped at the first available opportunity. Nick is devastated until Nice Daniel gives him a pep-talk. He rallies, focuses on a design that will look good on Rachel, and together they tell Zulema where she can stick her walk-off...or walk her stick off......one of those. Zulema spends the whole episode giving that tired reality-show speech: 'i'm not here to make friends, i'm here to win' that people use to justify shady behavior, and adorable Tarah is stuck in the middle of all of it.
This week's challenge was to run around NYC taking photos, then use one of the photos as inspiration for a design. Zulema takes a picture of a woman in a big red dress and makes-- wait for it-- a big red dress! (Look out, Donna Karan!) Cute Daniel deservingly wins the challenge for taking a photo of an orchid and making a sculpted blouse-and-pencil-skirt combo. Rachel rocks Nick's fishtail skirt and nautical top. The judges call out Zulema and Kara (next week's loser, if there is a God) for their lack of creativity and send egomaniac Zulema packing, thank Lady Justice of Fashion!
But wait! Next week Winner Daniel will have to decide whether he wants to keep pinchy-face Rebecca or rescue Tarah from the train wreck that was Zulema! Oh the DRAMA! And is it just me, or would it be awesome if Seal stopped by as a guest judge? i think he has more than a little insight into the runway world. They could call the challenge 'Crazy' and the contestants would have to design a new uniform for mental patients. Yesssss! i'm calling Heidi right now!
Last week on Project Runway, Zulema narrowly won the 'Thin Ice' challenge over the more deserving, and less obnoxious, Chloe. (i blame you Sasha Cohen! a curse on your next triple lutz!) This week she used her victory to stage a walk-off between the models and then steals Nick's model/muse Tarah, thus sticking Nick with her old model, Rachel, aka 'Elongated Marshmallow With Gumby Legs.' (ouch, Tim Gunn, very ouch) Rachel gets a gold medal for dealing with Zulema's butt-baring sweater dress and what can only be described as 'Adventures in Ruching', all to get dumped at the first available opportunity. Nick is devastated until Nice Daniel gives him a pep-talk. He rallies, focuses on a design that will look good on Rachel, and together they tell Zulema where she can stick her walk-off...or walk her stick off......one of those. Zulema spends the whole episode giving that tired reality-show speech: 'i'm not here to make friends, i'm here to win' that people use to justify shady behavior, and adorable Tarah is stuck in the middle of all of it.
This week's challenge was to run around NYC taking photos, then use one of the photos as inspiration for a design. Zulema takes a picture of a woman in a big red dress and makes-- wait for it-- a big red dress! (Look out, Donna Karan!) Cute Daniel deservingly wins the challenge for taking a photo of an orchid and making a sculpted blouse-and-pencil-skirt combo. Rachel rocks Nick's fishtail skirt and nautical top. The judges call out Zulema and Kara (next week's loser, if there is a God) for their lack of creativity and send egomaniac Zulema packing, thank Lady Justice of Fashion!
But wait! Next week Winner Daniel will have to decide whether he wants to keep pinchy-face Rebecca or rescue Tarah from the train wreck that was Zulema! Oh the DRAMA! And is it just me, or would it be awesome if Seal stopped by as a guest judge? i think he has more than a little insight into the runway world. They could call the challenge 'Crazy' and the contestants would have to design a new uniform for mental patients. Yesssss! i'm calling Heidi right now!
January 19, 2006
Overheard
Martha Stewart, with guest Nia Long, going through pictures of Nia's movies and holding up this one: 
"Now this is one of my favorite movies, i watch this one all the time; Boyz N the Hood."
"Now this is one of my favorite movies, i watch this one all the time; Boyz N the Hood."
Adventures in having my boss....
"Kallie, there's a paper jam in the printer, and that stuff is all Greek to me! You're the expert at this stuff." and walks away.....doesn't follow me to the printer to learn HOW to take care of it. Don't know why i'm considered an expert, as i specifically avoid such tasks becuase of moments like there. Don't you love it when people pretend to compliment you as their way of bossing you around? We have a fancy printer with a screen and flashing arrows diagramming exactly where the paper jam is. i looked at the screen, opened the appropriate door, and easily pulled out the offending piece of paper which was in plain sight.
---
"Kallie where's that excel file? Can you print it out for me?" (4th time i was asked)
"I emailed it to you so you'll have it and you can print it out whenever you want." (even tho it's on the shared drive and i'd answered as much the first 3 times.)
Later.... "Kallie i'm leaving and i'll be back around 3. i couldn't get the attachment to open, so could you go into my office and open it for me while i'm gone?"
So i go in, thinking i attached it wrong or there's a problem with the file. Nope. The email is open on the computer, i double click, attachment opens. It's a non-profit miracle!
Phone call... "Kallie i don't know if i'll be back before you leave, but did you get the attachment open?"
"Yes. i clicked on it and it opened."
"Could you also print it out for me? i don't know how to print excel stuff."
Needless to say, i left post-it notes on the monitor: 'To open email attachments: double click.' 'To print Excel files: click print icon.' 'To remove head from butthole, pull on shoulders.'
(....okay, maybe not that last one...)
----
Me: on my lunch, which i've taken at the same time everyday for the past year in the same fashion-- closing the sliding glass door to my office and turning off the light so i can eat at my desk in peace. Eating a bowl of soup, reading a book. i even have the hood of my sweatshirt up.
Boss opens door. "Kallie do you have the instructions for Claire for changing the outgoing message?" (3rd time he's asked this week)
"No, i already told Claire that."
"Okay we need to do that by tomorrow."
"Claire's doing it."
"Alright, great! Because that needs to be done."
Closes my door.
Opens my door.
"You know, it's not good for your eyes to read in the dark!"
"I know, but the lights being off indicates to everyone that i'm on my lunch break."
"Cool! Good idea!"
Closes my door.
Obviously not that good of an idea, seeing as how it doesn't work on him. i guess i'll have to go back to eating in my car.
---
How much do they pay those people who care for mentally disabled adults? Because that's what i should be making, since that's what i'm doing.
---
"Kallie where's that excel file? Can you print it out for me?" (4th time i was asked)
"I emailed it to you so you'll have it and you can print it out whenever you want." (even tho it's on the shared drive and i'd answered as much the first 3 times.)
Later.... "Kallie i'm leaving and i'll be back around 3. i couldn't get the attachment to open, so could you go into my office and open it for me while i'm gone?"
So i go in, thinking i attached it wrong or there's a problem with the file. Nope. The email is open on the computer, i double click, attachment opens. It's a non-profit miracle!
Phone call... "Kallie i don't know if i'll be back before you leave, but did you get the attachment open?"
"Yes. i clicked on it and it opened."
"Could you also print it out for me? i don't know how to print excel stuff."
Needless to say, i left post-it notes on the monitor: 'To open email attachments: double click.' 'To print Excel files: click print icon.' 'To remove head from butthole, pull on shoulders.'
(....okay, maybe not that last one...)
----
Me: on my lunch, which i've taken at the same time everyday for the past year in the same fashion-- closing the sliding glass door to my office and turning off the light so i can eat at my desk in peace. Eating a bowl of soup, reading a book. i even have the hood of my sweatshirt up.
Boss opens door. "Kallie do you have the instructions for Claire for changing the outgoing message?" (3rd time he's asked this week)
"No, i already told Claire that."
"Okay we need to do that by tomorrow."
"Claire's doing it."
"Alright, great! Because that needs to be done."
Closes my door.
Opens my door.
"You know, it's not good for your eyes to read in the dark!"
"I know, but the lights being off indicates to everyone that i'm on my lunch break."
"Cool! Good idea!"
Closes my door.
Obviously not that good of an idea, seeing as how it doesn't work on him. i guess i'll have to go back to eating in my car.
---
How much do they pay those people who care for mentally disabled adults? Because that's what i should be making, since that's what i'm doing.
January 18, 2006
Movie Review: Red Eye
Starring Cillian Murphy & Rachel McAdams
CURSE YOU, WES CRAVEN!!! As if i didn't already hate flying....
Anyway, i Netflixed this because i'm a big fan of both actors (i was a McAdams fan before it was popular....like when she was making movies with Rob Schnieder) and i like a good scary movie, so long as it doesn't involve demons, Jennifer Love Hewitt, or creepy masked men on tricycles. This one did not disappoint. Most of the movie takes place on a plane, where Murphy is, in a sense, holding McAdams hostage with the threat of having her father killed if she doesn't use her fancy hotel management connections to arrange for the assassination of the Secretary of Defense.
i thought it was a simple, creative plot. No big conspiracies, no scandalous skeletons in any closets, just good vs evil, which is scarier anyway. The fact that the two actors are literally sitting in an airplane for most of the movie attributes to the scary 'trapped by evil' sense, plus it created a considerable challenge for the actors. Think about it: you can't easily rely on body language when you're sitting in coach, shot from the shoulders up. And, like i knew they would, Murphy and McAdams came through brilliantly.
The chase scene through the airport was a bit of a stretch; Lisa could've told any airport personnel a terrorist was chasing her and gotten a considerable lead, if not a telephone to use, but instead they go cat and mousing through the airport before busting out a full-speed chase. Now, if a pretty girl ran by you in an airport freaking out, wouldn't you at least slide your bag out to trip the bastard chasing her? Or, i don't know, scream and duck? It's a post 9/11 world Craven, people aren't going to let you mess around with their airports.
But what scary movie doesn't have its believability problems? i'll forgive it, in light of the fact that it's the only criticism i could think of. i recommend this for a good, trauma-free scare. 4.3 out of 5 beautifully-cheekboned bad guys.
CURSE YOU, WES CRAVEN!!! As if i didn't already hate flying....
Anyway, i Netflixed this because i'm a big fan of both actors (i was a McAdams fan before it was popular....like when she was making movies with Rob Schnieder) and i like a good scary movie, so long as it doesn't involve demons, Jennifer Love Hewitt, or creepy masked men on tricycles. This one did not disappoint. Most of the movie takes place on a plane, where Murphy is, in a sense, holding McAdams hostage with the threat of having her father killed if she doesn't use her fancy hotel management connections to arrange for the assassination of the Secretary of Defense.
i thought it was a simple, creative plot. No big conspiracies, no scandalous skeletons in any closets, just good vs evil, which is scarier anyway. The fact that the two actors are literally sitting in an airplane for most of the movie attributes to the scary 'trapped by evil' sense, plus it created a considerable challenge for the actors. Think about it: you can't easily rely on body language when you're sitting in coach, shot from the shoulders up. And, like i knew they would, Murphy and McAdams came through brilliantly.
The chase scene through the airport was a bit of a stretch; Lisa could've told any airport personnel a terrorist was chasing her and gotten a considerable lead, if not a telephone to use, but instead they go cat and mousing through the airport before busting out a full-speed chase. Now, if a pretty girl ran by you in an airport freaking out, wouldn't you at least slide your bag out to trip the bastard chasing her? Or, i don't know, scream and duck? It's a post 9/11 world Craven, people aren't going to let you mess around with their airports.
But what scary movie doesn't have its believability problems? i'll forgive it, in light of the fact that it's the only criticism i could think of. i recommend this for a good, trauma-free scare. 4.3 out of 5 beautifully-cheekboned bad guys.
January 13, 2006
The Return of Top 5 Fridays
(i know you're all weeping for joy.) i had a VERY hard time with this list and i know there's stuff i forgot, but the episode recaps aren't very helpful. Let me know if there are any i missed!
TOP 5 SCRUBS EPISODES
"My Screwup"... Brendan Fraser guesting as Ben Sullivan. Top notch performance by John C. McGinley, plus it introduced the world to 'Gay Chicken.'
"My Day At The Races"... JD attempts a triathalon before turning 30, Elliot faces some issues with her boyfriend Jake, and Doug and Ted get some good moments in. Highlight: The Mexican Apple Thief fantasy.... pure Elliot.
"My Lips Are Sealed"... JD & Carla get really drunk and KISS! Highlight: "Appletini, please- easy on the tini. ...Mmm, appley!"
"My Unicorn"... Guest starring & directed by Matthew Perry. To find a kidney transplant for his patient, JD tracks down Matt Perry, who wants nothing to do with his dad, played by real-life father John Bennet Perry. Good singalongs too.
"My Boss's Free Haircut"... There wasn't much to this episode, but i like it when they give Ken Jenkins (Dr. Kelso) more to do, cuz he's really good.
TOP 5 SCRUBS EPISODES
"My Screwup"... Brendan Fraser guesting as Ben Sullivan. Top notch performance by John C. McGinley, plus it introduced the world to 'Gay Chicken.'
"My Day At The Races"... JD attempts a triathalon before turning 30, Elliot faces some issues with her boyfriend Jake, and Doug and Ted get some good moments in. Highlight: The Mexican Apple Thief fantasy.... pure Elliot.
"My Lips Are Sealed"... JD & Carla get really drunk and KISS! Highlight: "Appletini, please- easy on the tini. ...Mmm, appley!"
"My Unicorn"... Guest starring & directed by Matthew Perry. To find a kidney transplant for his patient, JD tracks down Matt Perry, who wants nothing to do with his dad, played by real-life father John Bennet Perry. Good singalongs too.
"My Boss's Free Haircut"... There wasn't much to this episode, but i like it when they give Ken Jenkins (Dr. Kelso) more to do, cuz he's really good.
January 09, 2006
January 07, 2006
Another One Bites the Dust
To those of you who have yet to hear, Jeff Unfried is now engaged to Kate White. Jeff proposed to Kate January 6th, 2006 in the great city of Roseville surrounded by rose petals and candle light. (Kudos to Jeff) We could not be more happy for you both. We can easily say that this is a great thing for the kingdom of Heaven.P.S. Jeff, we are really happy you chose Kate because we really like her. Good job.
P.S. Kate, thanks for saying yes regardless of how weird Jeff's friends are.
P.S. That is one more friend up in Nor. Cal. vs. So. Cal.
January 05, 2006
Girly Things
A long, long time ago, like, almost 3 weeks even, Josh Hermsmeier slipped a ginormous fake emerald from Disneyland on Ashley Morrow's finger convinced her to marry him. (This is a pic from that fated D-land trip. Yes, that's a turban.) YAY! i was starting to think that next summer wouldn't meet the requisite 3 wedding minimum. i get to be a bridesmaid, which is really fun once you've already been a bride, and it's all very exciting. Congrats to Ashmeier and Hermsley!Speaking of fun stuff for next summer, baby Alexander has decided to be a pink! i mean a girl! Break out the frilly dresses and shiny black Sunday shoes! Start sewing sparkles on a tiny labbie vest! We can't wait to meet the little darlin' !
January 03, 2006
Movie Reviews
The IslandStarring Ewan McGregor's bad accent and Scarlett Johansson's lips
This movie got some bad reviews but the plot piqued my curiosity so i Netflixed it. Lincoln and Jordan live in a Gattaca-esque society where everyone is healthy and happy. They're told they survived a 'contamination' that made the rest of the world unliveable. A couple times per day, a big brother type announces that someone else has won the lottery and is allowed to go to 'the island' which is a utopian place untouched by the contamination. Of course this is all malarky. They are actually clones of the real Lincoln and Jordan, who live somewhere in LA and were rich enough to have them created in case they ever wanted new skin, a new liver, etc. Lincoln figures it out, non-clone Steve Buscemi helps them escape, and Djimon Hounsou hunts them down. Evil Scientist Sean Bean does evil scientist things to prevent further problems.
Very stylistic with some pretty cheesy lines (as futuristic action flix usually employ) and major lapses in believability, even for an action movie. You can tell Scarlett's used to lines with a little more brain behind them and Ewan's American accent comes and goes like the tide. Scenes with human Lincoln, who IS Scottish, and clone Lincoln, who is American, are a manifestation of this. Very annoying product placement throughout, and not in that excusable satirical way. Big waste of Buscemi, Hounsou and Bean, who are all fantastic actors dumped in stereotyped roles. Rotate them all one degree and you've got an interesting movie. Overall it was pretty lame, but given the current trend in embryonic stem cell research and cloning, believably disconcerting. i give it 1.8 out of 5 "disturbance in the hologram control room!"s.
The Producers
Nathan Lane, Matthew Broderick, Will Ferrell, Uma Thurman, & Pharmacist George
Yup, made the mistake of paying for this one. It's a really bad movie based on a musical based on a movie about two guys making a really bad musical. Got it? There were moments of sheer hilarity, but those were always preceded and followed by moments of sheer banality. 80% of the jokes fell painfully flat and the songs weren't very musical, if that makes sense. Uma Thurman is distractingly tall and blond, and don't get me started on her accent and singing. Pharmacist George and Matthew Broderick are really great, especially Broderick who is usually cast as the mild, stammering nice guy and is a complete screaming nut in this one. Will Ferrell is a Nazi playwrite and pigeon fanatic. He does what he can with some really lame jokes. The pigeons were given better material. Recommended (but only for free or Netflix) if you like slapstick and campy musicals. 2 out of 5 Adolf Elizabeth Hitlers.
The Life and Death of Peter Sellers
Geoffrey Rush, Emily Watson, Charlize Theron, John Lithgow, and Stanley Tucci as KubrickThis was an HBO movie that got a few awards, and i'd caught a bit of it in the blissful 48 hours after you get the cable installed and they give you the dangling carrot of HBO and other special channels. i Netflixed it b/c Josh grew up watching the Pink Panther movies so i thought it would be fun. It's a great film, but like most 'warts and all' bio-pics, its honest portayal of Sellers is disenchanting and painful at times. Nonetheless, really great performances all around, especially by Rush, who is always so good. i don't normally like Charlize Theron, but like her brilliant, inspired turn on Arrested Development as a mentally challenged British spy, i really enjoyed her in this supporting role as Sellers' second wife, Brit Easton. i heart Stanley Tucci and John Lithgow is always good to have around, especially in sweet 60s hairstyles. It's very imaginative, Eternal Sunshine-esque in that regard, and deserving of its acclaim. Recommended for everyone, especially those who don't mind a hero's fall from grace. 5 out of 5 Inspectors.
271...
...the number of new emails i have after a week off. Beat that! And out of those 271, only 13 were non-spam.
December 27, 2005
Like bandits!
Winter and Jason came last week and spent TWO nights with us! We had a ball AND a blast- did some wine tasting, toured Elk Grove ("on your right you'll see a housing development and a strip mall, and on your left is a strip mall and a housing development. Next we'll show you the newest strip mall and housing development, followed by the contructions sites for 3 more strip malls and a half- finished housing development!!") and generally made merriness.
We had super Christmases, spending The Eve w/the Redding clan and The Day at Big Red's house in Lodi. We had chicken and dumplings and played Phase 10 whilst all the teeny-bopping cousins swapped covers for their new iPod Nanos. Oh, to be 11 years old again....all our gifts rawked- i got spiffy new clothes and shoes, books, art supplies, seasons 1-4 of The Office (BBC) AND A SEWING MACHINE! Josh got a peacoat and some new shirts (thank Jebus), a laser level, poker chips, AND A VIDEO iPOD! We are mucho excited to play with our new toys. i told Josh he needed to build a 2nd bedroom onto our apt so i could have a sewing room, but i don't think our lease works like that. Plus the whole being on the 2nd floor thing would make it a bit tricky.
We both have this week off work, so it's fun to sleep in and hang out all day together. Winter and J are coming back through on Thursday, then we're going back up to Redding for some more partying and to celebrate Jesse's birthday, since we were crunched for time on our last visit.
Today we had lunch with Robyn, Gary and Kallie since it's Robyn's 49th birthday again. We got her a gift card to J. Jill, which hopefully means a Markle family trip to the Roseville Galleria in the near future.
Now for the long, long stretch of Nothing until we can't stand it anymore and drive ourselves to SD for sanity's sake. Thankfully we'll both be fairly busy at work so it should go not-too-slow. The sewing machine will help! Scrunchies and placemats for EVERYONE!
We had super Christmases, spending The Eve w/the Redding clan and The Day at Big Red's house in Lodi. We had chicken and dumplings and played Phase 10 whilst all the teeny-bopping cousins swapped covers for their new iPod Nanos. Oh, to be 11 years old again....all our gifts rawked- i got spiffy new clothes and shoes, books, art supplies, seasons 1-4 of The Office (BBC) AND A SEWING MACHINE! Josh got a peacoat and some new shirts (thank Jebus), a laser level, poker chips, AND A VIDEO iPOD! We are mucho excited to play with our new toys. i told Josh he needed to build a 2nd bedroom onto our apt so i could have a sewing room, but i don't think our lease works like that. Plus the whole being on the 2nd floor thing would make it a bit tricky.
We both have this week off work, so it's fun to sleep in and hang out all day together. Winter and J are coming back through on Thursday, then we're going back up to Redding for some more partying and to celebrate Jesse's birthday, since we were crunched for time on our last visit.
Today we had lunch with Robyn, Gary and Kallie since it's Robyn's 49th birthday again. We got her a gift card to J. Jill, which hopefully means a Markle family trip to the Roseville Galleria in the near future.
Now for the long, long stretch of Nothing until we can't stand it anymore and drive ourselves to SD for sanity's sake. Thankfully we'll both be fairly busy at work so it should go not-too-slow. The sewing machine will help! Scrunchies and placemats for EVERYONE!
December 23, 2005
Close Call
Cosmo's inner pryo got the best of him this afternoon and he was minutes away from being renamed Mr. Bigglesworth. i came into the bathroom to find him sitting next to the candles with chunks of black char all over the end of his magnificent tail. The dork set himself on fire then kept sitting next to the flames! i spent the next 20 minutes chasing him around the bathroom with the scissors, trying to cut out all the char. The smell was not pleasant. i took pix but they're not working right now so maybe i'll re-post them later. HAHA! he just climbed up on my lap and i'm noticing that his left eye whiskers are significantly shorter than the right. i pity the people with smart, boring pets.
TOP 5 CHRISTMAS TREATS
Anything can be a treat/snack if you eat it at odd hours....which i hear is really good, nutritionally.
- Tiny chocolates shaped like bottles with 'holiday spirits' inside.
- Pumpkin pie
- Mint-chocolate candy canes
- Glog
- Yams with marshmallows on 'em
- Tiny chocolates shaped like bottles with 'holiday spirits' inside.
- Pumpkin pie
- Mint-chocolate candy canes
- Glog
- Yams with marshmallows on 'em
December 19, 2005
Excellent
Mr. Burns, Willy Wonka, and Bruce Wayne all featured in Forbes' 15 Wealthiest Fictional Characters.
No. 5: Burns, Charles Montgomery
Net worth: $8.4 billion
Source: Energy
Age: 104
Marital status: Single, one bastard child
Hometown: Springfield, U.S.A.
Education: Yale University, B.S.
Owner and operator of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant for more than 50 years; also water works and a hotel on Baltic Avenue. Saved millions by canceling company's prescription drug plan, but reinstated same after assistant Smithers' thyroid condition brought him to the brink of death. Bought the Frank Gehry-designed Springfield Concert Hall from the city and turned it into a prison. Struggling Monty Burns Casino chain purchased this year by MGM Mirage for $2.1 billion. Has every disease known to man, and survives only because they perfectly counteract one another, an extremely rare medical condition known as "Three Stooges Syndrome." Credits longevity to Satan. Member since 1989.
No. 5: Burns, Charles Montgomery
Net worth: $8.4 billion
Source: Energy
Age: 104
Marital status: Single, one bastard child
Hometown: Springfield, U.S.A.
Education: Yale University, B.S.
Owner and operator of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant for more than 50 years; also water works and a hotel on Baltic Avenue. Saved millions by canceling company's prescription drug plan, but reinstated same after assistant Smithers' thyroid condition brought him to the brink of death. Bought the Frank Gehry-designed Springfield Concert Hall from the city and turned it into a prison. Struggling Monty Burns Casino chain purchased this year by MGM Mirage for $2.1 billion. Has every disease known to man, and survives only because they perfectly counteract one another, an extremely rare medical condition known as "Three Stooges Syndrome." Credits longevity to Satan. Member since 1989.
Holidays, Hymnals, Opposable-Thumbed Cats
John Herman pointed out that the word 'holiday' is translated from the phrase 'holy day' and is therefore just as appropriate to use as 'Merry Christmas', so for crying out loud, can we stop all the hissy-fits?
In other news, we helped the youth group with their Holiday Party, and were grieved to see that for the $5 gift exchange, about 50% of the students brought Starbucks gift cards. And when it came for 'Yankee Swap' that was all anybody wanted. These are the same disillusioned youngsters that looked at me like i had a unicorn horn growing out the side of my neck when i used the word 'hymnal' in a study meeting last month. i heard crickets chirping, saw a tumbleweed, then one of them finally said 'What's a hymnal???' Kids these days.
Not much else is going on, Cosmo got mad at Josh for hanging a picture frame on his favorite blank wall. (It was the wall where he first made friends with a fly.) He has learned to open closed doors using the technique of standing on his hind legs and jumping and beating the door handle senseless until it unlatches itself out of sheer frustration. This is particularly fun when it happens to our bedroom door handle in the middle of the night. He made such a racket i woke up and thought we were being robbed/mutilated/you name it. Then i realized a robber wouldn't have such a hard time opening an unlocked door, and probably wouldn't be meowing at it anyway. Last night Josh covered the handle in double-stick tape, which seemed to work. Apparently cats don't like sticky all over their paws. Today he spent the entire morning standing in the bathtub and staring at a shower tile. (There wasn't so much as a water spot there, i checked twice.) i'm almost finished with all the Christmas gift-wrapping, not that there's much paper left that hasn't been tackled, chewed or smothered, so it will be nice when i don't have to fight that battle multiple times a night. He did get 'normal' enough to play fetch with me last night, and what's more endearing than a cat who acts like a dog?
In other news, we helped the youth group with their Holiday Party, and were grieved to see that for the $5 gift exchange, about 50% of the students brought Starbucks gift cards. And when it came for 'Yankee Swap' that was all anybody wanted. These are the same disillusioned youngsters that looked at me like i had a unicorn horn growing out the side of my neck when i used the word 'hymnal' in a study meeting last month. i heard crickets chirping, saw a tumbleweed, then one of them finally said 'What's a hymnal???' Kids these days.
Not much else is going on, Cosmo got mad at Josh for hanging a picture frame on his favorite blank wall. (It was the wall where he first made friends with a fly.) He has learned to open closed doors using the technique of standing on his hind legs and jumping and beating the door handle senseless until it unlatches itself out of sheer frustration. This is particularly fun when it happens to our bedroom door handle in the middle of the night. He made such a racket i woke up and thought we were being robbed/mutilated/you name it. Then i realized a robber wouldn't have such a hard time opening an unlocked door, and probably wouldn't be meowing at it anyway. Last night Josh covered the handle in double-stick tape, which seemed to work. Apparently cats don't like sticky all over their paws. Today he spent the entire morning standing in the bathtub and staring at a shower tile. (There wasn't so much as a water spot there, i checked twice.) i'm almost finished with all the Christmas gift-wrapping, not that there's much paper left that hasn't been tackled, chewed or smothered, so it will be nice when i don't have to fight that battle multiple times a night. He did get 'normal' enough to play fetch with me last night, and what's more endearing than a cat who acts like a dog?
December 16, 2005
TOP 5 CHRISTMAS BUMMERS
Don't get me wrong, i heart Christmas big-time, but i think we can all agree that there are some downfalls to it::::
The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad music. For me, it's the song 'Last Christmas I Gave U My Heart'. Hearing it makes me want to pour hydrochloric acid into my ears.
Yuletide predators. i've been hearing stories about the rising # of Christmas-y thefts, like stealing the Frosty off a person's lawn. My coworker's big stone planter and accompanying poinsetta got snatched off her front step!
The inevitable post-holiday blues, when you realize you won't get anymore paid days off or get to see your friends and family for MONTHS.
Parking and errand-running becomes a nightmare. i think that thru-out December, retailers should reserve a row of parking and a cash register line for non-holiday consumers. No waiting for someone to get 14 cans of cashews wrapped or 9 different gift receipts printed. It could be like the Express or Cash Only lines at Safeway, only it will be Scrooge Parking and Jehovah's Witness Register Line. If people abuse these features, a rent-a-cop will confiscate their purchases and give them to the poor. Yes. I'M A GENIUS.
Seasonal employees, God bless 'em. The one at Eddie Bauer gave me a box with no lid, the one at Borders gave Josh flack about his Bebe shirt (it was actually BebO, as in Norman), and the rest are more in the way than helpful. They're kind of cute though, in their cluelessness. ("Hello! And welcome! To Juice It Up!")
How 'bout it? Did i miss anything? Is there a song that's worse than 'Last Christmas'?
The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad music. For me, it's the song 'Last Christmas I Gave U My Heart'. Hearing it makes me want to pour hydrochloric acid into my ears.
Yuletide predators. i've been hearing stories about the rising # of Christmas-y thefts, like stealing the Frosty off a person's lawn. My coworker's big stone planter and accompanying poinsetta got snatched off her front step!
The inevitable post-holiday blues, when you realize you won't get anymore paid days off or get to see your friends and family for MONTHS.
Parking and errand-running becomes a nightmare. i think that thru-out December, retailers should reserve a row of parking and a cash register line for non-holiday consumers. No waiting for someone to get 14 cans of cashews wrapped or 9 different gift receipts printed. It could be like the Express or Cash Only lines at Safeway, only it will be Scrooge Parking and Jehovah's Witness Register Line. If people abuse these features, a rent-a-cop will confiscate their purchases and give them to the poor. Yes. I'M A GENIUS.
Seasonal employees, God bless 'em. The one at Eddie Bauer gave me a box with no lid, the one at Borders gave Josh flack about his Bebe shirt (it was actually BebO, as in Norman), and the rest are more in the way than helpful. They're kind of cute though, in their cluelessness. ("Hello! And welcome! To Juice It Up!")
How 'bout it? Did i miss anything? Is there a song that's worse than 'Last Christmas'?
Movie Review: Millions
British movie with British actors. Directed by Danny Boyle (Trainspotting, 28 Days Later).
RENT. THIS. MOVIE. NOW. It's fan-freaking-tastic. Premise: Father and two sons move to a shiny new house / shiny new community / shiny new school (Elk Grove, much?). Mum's dead. 7 year old Damian likes to read about martyrs and saints and 'sees' and 'talks' to them like imaginary friends. Very cool cgi-y stuff with halos. Anyway, Damian is sitting in his box-fort by the RR tracks talking w/a saint when a big bag of $$$ comes out of nowhere. Being the believer he is (wouldn't you if you had conversations with Francis of Assisi?), Damian thinks the money is from God, so he wants to give it to the poor. His older brother Anthony has different ideas. All this takes place in December 2001, days away from the currency change-over from pounds to euros, so they have to spend/give the money ASAP. Sharing with the poor proves harder than it seems for Damian, and a scary guy shows up looking for his stolen bag of cash.
It was one of the best movies i've seen in a while. The conversation between Damian and St. Peter about Christ's loaves and fishes 'miracle' is enough reason to watch in and of itself. Don't expect just a warm-fuzzies flick about a kid who likes poor people- it's a very well shot, imaginative, sad, creepy, and funny film. It's also on my Christmas list in case you're wondering. i not only highly recommend it, i require it. 5 OUT OF 5 FRECKLES.
RENT. THIS. MOVIE. NOW. It's fan-freaking-tastic. Premise: Father and two sons move to a shiny new house / shiny new community / shiny new school (Elk Grove, much?). Mum's dead. 7 year old Damian likes to read about martyrs and saints and 'sees' and 'talks' to them like imaginary friends. Very cool cgi-y stuff with halos. Anyway, Damian is sitting in his box-fort by the RR tracks talking w/a saint when a big bag of $$$ comes out of nowhere. Being the believer he is (wouldn't you if you had conversations with Francis of Assisi?), Damian thinks the money is from God, so he wants to give it to the poor. His older brother Anthony has different ideas. All this takes place in December 2001, days away from the currency change-over from pounds to euros, so they have to spend/give the money ASAP. Sharing with the poor proves harder than it seems for Damian, and a scary guy shows up looking for his stolen bag of cash.
It was one of the best movies i've seen in a while. The conversation between Damian and St. Peter about Christ's loaves and fishes 'miracle' is enough reason to watch in and of itself. Don't expect just a warm-fuzzies flick about a kid who likes poor people- it's a very well shot, imaginative, sad, creepy, and funny film. It's also on my Christmas list in case you're wondering. i not only highly recommend it, i require it. 5 OUT OF 5 FRECKLES.
December 14, 2005
Best Week Ever Award Winner
Korina (Kennedy) Buhler is having the best week ever! Not only is she a college grad as of 3 o'clock Thursday, she was just offered a fancy San Francisco public relations job with the Zeno Group. Good for you, Weena! You deserve it!
December 12, 2005
This is why i use gift bags.
Within 60 seconds of rolling out some wrapping paper there's always a cat smack dab in the middle of it. It's not just about his strategic placement either- he obviously sees the wrapping paper as competition for our attention, and with no opposable thumbs, it's up to his jaws to do the annihilating.
Weekend Wonderboredom
Friday: Global Wine Group holiday party. Now, according to Josh, this was going to involve his bosses getting blasted and some accompanying mayhem of fictional-comic proportions. i had visions of lamp-shade hats dancing in my head. i got a fun new black dress to wear and prepared myself for the worst...or the best...depending on your perspective. Alas. It was a very tame evening, no 50-year-olds table dancing, photocopied fannies, or vino keg stands. The only scandal was a coworker teasing Josh about his high-school wife. Yeah. i think it was supposed to mean 'Darn. Your wife is young and hot and mine's not...' but i'd rather not be referred to as 'high school', especially when i got all dressed up for the occasion. Blame Bacchus i guess. Anyway, everyone Josh works with thinks he pretty much walks on water, so it's nice to see him doted on. Next time, though, i'll be more insistant on some lamp shades.
Saturday- We compiled stockings for the children who live at Meadows Depot. A lone youth grouper helped (big ups to Bethany!) and we managed to accidentally steal a shopping basket from the Dollar Tree. We wandered out to Lodi for dinner w/Adam, Nicole, Claire & Thomas where we got to play the fishing game, watch 'Eyeore's Birthday' and enjoyed watching some top quality Child Ceaselessy Spinning In Circles.
Sunday meant getting my new DRB cd in the mail (yipee!!), being bored out of mind after i finished my re-reading of Memoirs of a Geisha and ultimately ending up at Chris and Kallie's to meet their new kitty, Scotty, who is all white with pink accents (nose, ears, toes, tongue).
Saturday- We compiled stockings for the children who live at Meadows Depot. A lone youth grouper helped (big ups to Bethany!) and we managed to accidentally steal a shopping basket from the Dollar Tree. We wandered out to Lodi for dinner w/Adam, Nicole, Claire & Thomas where we got to play the fishing game, watch 'Eyeore's Birthday' and enjoyed watching some top quality Child Ceaselessy Spinning In Circles.
Sunday meant getting my new DRB cd in the mail (yipee!!), being bored out of mind after i finished my re-reading of Memoirs of a Geisha and ultimately ending up at Chris and Kallie's to meet their new kitty, Scotty, who is all white with pink accents (nose, ears, toes, tongue).
December 09, 2005
My Top 5 Favorite Christmas Songs
(i was in my 20s before i realized that the song I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus referred to the child's parents, not his adulterous mother and an opportunistic Santa. So for a long time i thought the song was rather scandalous.)
Come All Ye Faithful....as performed by the Blind Boys. Ever since hearing it sung in a multi-congregational service at Mid City in the different languages i haven't been able to get through it without choking up.
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas....great lyrics. Christina Aguilera has a good version. (don't judge me, the girl can sing and you know it)
Christmas Song....Dave Matthews Band (on the Maybe This Christmas Too album) Dave & Co. doing what they do best.
Carol of the Bells......especially performed only by voices, cool stuff. i could listen on repeat for 8 hours.
O Come, O Come Emmanuel....nice and haunting, like all church music should be :P Good lyrics, too.
What's your favorite Christmas song or version of a song?
Come All Ye Faithful....as performed by the Blind Boys. Ever since hearing it sung in a multi-congregational service at Mid City in the different languages i haven't been able to get through it without choking up.
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas....great lyrics. Christina Aguilera has a good version. (don't judge me, the girl can sing and you know it)
Christmas Song....Dave Matthews Band (on the Maybe This Christmas Too album) Dave & Co. doing what they do best.
Carol of the Bells......especially performed only by voices, cool stuff. i could listen on repeat for 8 hours.
O Come, O Come Emmanuel....nice and haunting, like all church music should be :P Good lyrics, too.
What's your favorite Christmas song or version of a song?
December 08, 2005
God bless the small business.
In my 'order summary' email...
"Kallie - Thanks for your order with CD Baby! Your CDs have been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow.
A team of 50 employees inspected your CDs and polished them to make sure they were in the best possible condition before mailing.
Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over the crowd as he put your CDs into the finest gold-lined box that money can buy.
We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of Portland waved 'Bon Voyage!' to your package, on its way to you, in our private CD Baby jet on this day, Thursday, December 8th.
I hope you had a wonderful time shopping at CD Baby. We sure did. Your picture is on our wall as "Customer of the Year". We're all exhausted but can't wait for you to come back to CDBABY.COM!!"
Beat that, Amazon.
"Kallie - Thanks for your order with CD Baby! Your CDs have been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow.
A team of 50 employees inspected your CDs and polished them to make sure they were in the best possible condition before mailing.
Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over the crowd as he put your CDs into the finest gold-lined box that money can buy.
We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of Portland waved 'Bon Voyage!' to your package, on its way to you, in our private CD Baby jet on this day, Thursday, December 8th.
I hope you had a wonderful time shopping at CD Baby. We sure did. Your picture is on our wall as "Customer of the Year". We're all exhausted but can't wait for you to come back to CDBABY.COM!!"
Beat that, Amazon.
Stay classy, Planned Parenthood
Planned Parenthood Brings Back "Choice on Earth" Cards
Washington, DC (LifeNews.com) -- Planned Parenthood has brought back its "Choice on Earth" Christmas cards, turning a holiday celebrating Christ's birth into a fundraising opportunity to support abortion.
In an email Thursday encouraging its members to "send a holiday gift with real meaning" Planned Parenthood tells potential donors they can choose from one of five "Choice on Earth" Christmas cards.
The abortion business hopes donors will make a contribution in honor of a friend or relative and send them a pro-abortion Christmas card as an acknowledgment.
The cards come in five varieties this year and four feature the message "Choice on Earth." One includes the dove symbolizing peace and another extols the virtues of "hope, justice, and empowerment."
Washington, DC (LifeNews.com) -- Planned Parenthood has brought back its "Choice on Earth" Christmas cards, turning a holiday celebrating Christ's birth into a fundraising opportunity to support abortion.
In an email Thursday encouraging its members to "send a holiday gift with real meaning" Planned Parenthood tells potential donors they can choose from one of five "Choice on Earth" Christmas cards.
The abortion business hopes donors will make a contribution in honor of a friend or relative and send them a pro-abortion Christmas card as an acknowledgment.
The cards come in five varieties this year and four feature the message "Choice on Earth." One includes the dove symbolizing peace and another extols the virtues of "hope, justice, and empowerment."
December 07, 2005
My precious....
For those of us who don't live in San Diego and can't stock up on new albums at one of the Derren Raser Band's shows... buy it here. There's also a good article that captures Derren in all his glory.
December 03, 2005
Movie Review: Kingdom of Heaven
Starring Orlando Bloom, Liam Neeson, Jeremy Irons
This movie was directed by Ridley Scott, who makes epic, violent, visually stunning films like Gladiator and Black Hawk Down. Although battle scenes aren't my favorite, i really like his style, and this was no exception.
The story takes place 100 years after Christians crusaded in Jerusalem and slaughtered all the Muslims in the name of God. Now Jerusalem is in the hands of the Christian King Baldwin, who wears an eerie mask b/c he's a leper and who turns out to be my boyfriend. Baldwin allows all religions in Jerusalem, but Muslim King Saladin is waiting just outside for him to slip up and smack around the Muslims. Of course, some bad guys do, against the orders of Baldwin, who punishes them by making them kiss his lepery hand (very ew).
Orlando plays Balian, a humble blacksmith waiting around for Captain Jack Sparrow when Liam Neeson (Godfrey)
shows up and does the whole 'Hey, we haven't met, but... i'm your father!' thing and invites him to join them on their journey to Jerusalem. Godfrey is a knight and baron of Somewhere and is one of the few people on Baldwin's side. On their way, Godfrey dies and passes on everything to Balian, knighting him. Once in J-ru, everyone Balian meets is like 'Oh you must be Godfrey's kid! you look just like him.' Now, i don't have the best vision, but Orlando Bloom as a xerox of Liam Neeson? Not so much.
Anyway, once Saladin justifiably invades and kills all the Christians and Jeremy Irons is like 'this sucks, i'm going to Galilee,' Balian is left to defend Jerusalem. Since he has lost his faith, he decides to defend The People, because The City means nothing to him.
It got confusing at times, i had to turn on the subtitles just to help me figure out what the heck was going on. All in all it's an interesting look at faith, tolerance, and using the Christian card to justify wars and the killing of innocent people. Hm.
It's well acted: Orlando is a silent type who gets thrust into a situation and handles it the only way he knows how. The film keeps the inspirational battlefield speeches to a minimum, which was nice cuz that gets old (ahem Peter Jackson). Liam is Liam, which is a good thing, and it was nice to see Jeremy Irons, complete with a cool scar. There is also a good supporting cast of unknowns. i recommend it and give it 4.3 out of 5 leper fingers.
This movie was directed by Ridley Scott, who makes epic, violent, visually stunning films like Gladiator and Black Hawk Down. Although battle scenes aren't my favorite, i really like his style, and this was no exception.
The story takes place 100 years after Christians crusaded in Jerusalem and slaughtered all the Muslims in the name of God. Now Jerusalem is in the hands of the Christian King Baldwin, who wears an eerie mask b/c he's a leper and who turns out to be my boyfriend. Baldwin allows all religions in Jerusalem, but Muslim King Saladin is waiting just outside for him to slip up and smack around the Muslims. Of course, some bad guys do, against the orders of Baldwin, who punishes them by making them kiss his lepery hand (very ew).
Orlando plays Balian, a humble blacksmith waiting around for Captain Jack Sparrow when Liam Neeson (Godfrey)
shows up and does the whole 'Hey, we haven't met, but... i'm your father!' thing and invites him to join them on their journey to Jerusalem. Godfrey is a knight and baron of Somewhere and is one of the few people on Baldwin's side. On their way, Godfrey dies and passes on everything to Balian, knighting him. Once in J-ru, everyone Balian meets is like 'Oh you must be Godfrey's kid! you look just like him.' Now, i don't have the best vision, but Orlando Bloom as a xerox of Liam Neeson? Not so much. Anyway, once Saladin justifiably invades and kills all the Christians and Jeremy Irons is like 'this sucks, i'm going to Galilee,' Balian is left to defend Jerusalem. Since he has lost his faith, he decides to defend The People, because The City means nothing to him.
It got confusing at times, i had to turn on the subtitles just to help me figure out what the heck was going on. All in all it's an interesting look at faith, tolerance, and using the Christian card to justify wars and the killing of innocent people. Hm.
It's well acted: Orlando is a silent type who gets thrust into a situation and handles it the only way he knows how. The film keeps the inspirational battlefield speeches to a minimum, which was nice cuz that gets old (ahem Peter Jackson). Liam is Liam, which is a good thing, and it was nice to see Jeremy Irons, complete with a cool scar. There is also a good supporting cast of unknowns. i recommend it and give it 4.3 out of 5 leper fingers.
December 02, 2005
Top 5 Christmas Movies
Tis the season for Christmas themed Top 5 lists. For guidance, i Googled christmas movies, and found a list by askmen.com. They listed Trading Places (the great Dan Akroyd/Eddie Murphy flick) and i thought, 'that's random.' Then i read why they thought it was such a great holiday film: "Jamie Lee Curtis offers a fine dose of nudity and yuletide cheer." Ah yes. Good times watching that movie on Whit's little dvd player on the flight to Chicago, and J.Lee's boobs everywhere so the other passengers probably thought we were lesbo pervs. ....and i have no segue back to Christmas, so here's the list:
Charlie Brown's Christmas-- where we all first learned that scrawny trees can clean up real pretty-like. You know Linus's presentation of Luke's account of Christ's birth gets you a little choked up, don't deny it. Plus, this movie has some fantastic dance sequences.
The Nightmare Before Christmas-- When one kid pulls a shrunken skull out of his stocking.... priceless! There's only so much a person can do with a movie about Christmas, so Tim Burton says 'Eh, i think i'll toss in Halloween too!' and it rawks. The world owes much to Mr. Burton.
Scrooged-- Bill Murray, Carol Kane & a pre-Housewives Alfre Woodard, among others, make this Dickens adaptation downright screwy (in a good way). It covers the spectrum of biting and mean to 'God bless us, every one' without overstepping either line. Plus it's Bill Murray.
Elf-- As if i would make a list like this without Elf!! This movie re-defines 'good clean Christmas fun' and forever changed the way i board escalators. Plus you've got Sonny Corleone in a Santa hat.
A Christmas Story-- Ralphie and that ever-elusive Red Ryder bb gun. TV networks play this movie incessantly for a reason: it's fantastic. Few movies, especially small holiday films, boast as many memorable scenes as this one. The lamp, the slow-motion F word, triple dog dares, evil Santa, the bunny outfit, Ovaltine, going ape on the bully, literally shooting your eye out, and of course, "fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra!"...to name a few.
i know Josh will hit me for not including Chevy Chase's Christmas Vacation (just kidding, Josh doesn't hit me...... that often) (no really, he doesn't hit me!! ...he throws broken beer bottles at me) so i'm giving it an honorable mention, mostly for Aunt Bethany's 'prayer' that sounds an awful lot like the Pledge of Allegiance.
What do you think? Did i miss any? (and don't say Die Hard)
Charlie Brown's Christmas-- where we all first learned that scrawny trees can clean up real pretty-like. You know Linus's presentation of Luke's account of Christ's birth gets you a little choked up, don't deny it. Plus, this movie has some fantastic dance sequences.
The Nightmare Before Christmas-- When one kid pulls a shrunken skull out of his stocking.... priceless! There's only so much a person can do with a movie about Christmas, so Tim Burton says 'Eh, i think i'll toss in Halloween too!' and it rawks. The world owes much to Mr. Burton.
Scrooged-- Bill Murray, Carol Kane & a pre-Housewives Alfre Woodard, among others, make this Dickens adaptation downright screwy (in a good way). It covers the spectrum of biting and mean to 'God bless us, every one' without overstepping either line. Plus it's Bill Murray.
Elf-- As if i would make a list like this without Elf!! This movie re-defines 'good clean Christmas fun' and forever changed the way i board escalators. Plus you've got Sonny Corleone in a Santa hat.
A Christmas Story-- Ralphie and that ever-elusive Red Ryder bb gun. TV networks play this movie incessantly for a reason: it's fantastic. Few movies, especially small holiday films, boast as many memorable scenes as this one. The lamp, the slow-motion F word, triple dog dares, evil Santa, the bunny outfit, Ovaltine, going ape on the bully, literally shooting your eye out, and of course, "fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra!"...to name a few.
i know Josh will hit me for not including Chevy Chase's Christmas Vacation (just kidding, Josh doesn't hit me...... that often) (no really, he doesn't hit me!! ...he throws broken beer bottles at me) so i'm giving it an honorable mention, mostly for Aunt Bethany's 'prayer' that sounds an awful lot like the Pledge of Allegiance.
What do you think? Did i miss any? (and don't say Die Hard)
November 30, 2005
At least more people will boycott WalMart :]
A contact i've made through work has graciously added me to her mass-email list. She assumes that since i'm pro-life i'm also in agreement on all Conservative positions. (b/c apparently one can't be pro-life just b/c it's right) The most recent gem in my inbox was a petition to boycott businesses that aren't using the term 'Christmas' & are substituting it with 'Holidays.' Here's a little exerpt----
"Banning any mention of the word Christmas, Wal-Mart, Kmart & Target are attacking the reason for the season & discriminating against Christians! Your help is needed to keep Christmas rightfully honored in America! Using "Happy holidays!" as their lame politically correct excuse, corporate executives are suddenly in lock step with godless liberals conspiring to eradicate all things Christian. Don't let the chains get away with this anti-Christian bigotry! It is time we defend what has been GIVEN to us by GRACE!"
----i could go for days on what's wrong with all that, but i'll keep it simple: Do we really want Christmas 'rightfully honored' by being plastered all over WalMart? It's 'anti-Christian bigotry' to respect the fact that Jews and other religious groups are peacefully celebrating significant ecclesiastical events this season?? (Apparently they haven't read that part about Judaism and Christianity being cousins, & Christmas is a time for family!) Shouldn't we honor a gift of grace by graciously acknowledging other belief systems, as they continuously endure ours? Getting all worked up about being able to mass-consume under the banner of Christianity is pretty screwy. Maybe that makes me a 'godless liberal,' but at least i'm a tolerant one.
"Banning any mention of the word Christmas, Wal-Mart, Kmart & Target are attacking the reason for the season & discriminating against Christians! Your help is needed to keep Christmas rightfully honored in America! Using "Happy holidays!" as their lame politically correct excuse, corporate executives are suddenly in lock step with godless liberals conspiring to eradicate all things Christian. Don't let the chains get away with this anti-Christian bigotry! It is time we defend what has been GIVEN to us by GRACE!"
----i could go for days on what's wrong with all that, but i'll keep it simple: Do we really want Christmas 'rightfully honored' by being plastered all over WalMart? It's 'anti-Christian bigotry' to respect the fact that Jews and other religious groups are peacefully celebrating significant ecclesiastical events this season?? (Apparently they haven't read that part about Judaism and Christianity being cousins, & Christmas is a time for family!) Shouldn't we honor a gift of grace by graciously acknowledging other belief systems, as they continuously endure ours? Getting all worked up about being able to mass-consume under the banner of Christianity is pretty screwy. Maybe that makes me a 'godless liberal,' but at least i'm a tolerant one.
It was all me
Who says non-profit work doesn't have its perks?
We got hooked up last night, sitting in Row E of the Kings game, under the basket. Those of you who know your alphabet know just how close Row E is to the court & the Kings bench. AND, in a feat that happens too, too rarely, our beloved Kings actually won! Granted, they were playing the now 5-10 Charlotte Bobcats (a team i didn't even know existed), but a w is a w. Bibby was Captain Scoring McBucketPants, draining all of his 3 pointers except 1, which was promptly rebounded to him where he made the exact same shot with no effort. It reminded me of my early NBA days. It was amusing to watch him on the bench, where he would whip out his trusty nail clippers & go to town. Honestly, i don't know how that guy has any fingernails left. Maybe his nails grow at an alarming rate, i hear prenatal vitamins do that to you, & make your hair grow too....which explains why Bibby is bald as all getup. i don't know where i'm going with this.... Anyway, i think tattoos just magically pop out of his skin every 109 minutes; it explains the randomosity of his body art. Francisco Garcia did well, & every time he scored the announcer would say his name all fun, which made me think of when Buddy the Elf whispers 'Francisco' repeatedly in James Caan's office. Which makes a great segue to............ Christmas is coming & i like it.
We got hooked up last night, sitting in Row E of the Kings game, under the basket. Those of you who know your alphabet know just how close Row E is to the court & the Kings bench. AND, in a feat that happens too, too rarely, our beloved Kings actually won! Granted, they were playing the now 5-10 Charlotte Bobcats (a team i didn't even know existed), but a w is a w. Bibby was Captain Scoring McBucketPants, draining all of his 3 pointers except 1, which was promptly rebounded to him where he made the exact same shot with no effort. It reminded me of my early NBA days. It was amusing to watch him on the bench, where he would whip out his trusty nail clippers & go to town. Honestly, i don't know how that guy has any fingernails left. Maybe his nails grow at an alarming rate, i hear prenatal vitamins do that to you, & make your hair grow too....which explains why Bibby is bald as all getup. i don't know where i'm going with this.... Anyway, i think tattoos just magically pop out of his skin every 109 minutes; it explains the randomosity of his body art. Francisco Garcia did well, & every time he scored the announcer would say his name all fun, which made me think of when Buddy the Elf whispers 'Francisco' repeatedly in James Caan's office. Which makes a great segue to............ Christmas is coming & i like it.
November 29, 2005
Movie Reviews
RENT, starring Rosario Dawson, Taye Diggs, & a bunch of Broadway people
If you don't like musicals, i wouldn't suggest this movie. If Moulin Rouge & Chicago were a stretch for you, Rent is not going to change your mind. It's the musicalist musical-turned-film i've seen yet. Thus, if you LIKE musicals, you'll love it. It's dichotomous like that.
i liked (but did not love) this movie. It was well acted & sung, probably because 6/8 of the main cast have been playing these roles for 10 years. It has some really good coreography (dance scene in a moving subway? you bet!) though 'The Tango Maureen' pales dramatically in comparison to the 200 person'Roxanne' tango in Moulin Rouge & Chicago's high energy 'Cell Block Tango.' The love story between Collins & Angel is the best, with Law & Order's Jesse Martin reprising his Broadway role & bringing a sense of appreciation to Angel's funeral scene, which could've easily become just a swamp of grief. Maureen's 'protest' was hilarious & absurd in the live version i saw in San Diego, but on film i think the director wanted people to take it seriously. Not possible & a big mistake. i would've liked more of Taye Diggs (and not just because he's really really ridiculously good looking), he was one of the better actors of the cast & he didn't get to sing enough. All in all it was a movie to appreciate, if not love, for the tremendous amount of talent that was misdirected at times, but nevertheless very present. i give it 3 out of 5 bad 80's costumes.
THE JACKET, starring Adrien Brody, Keira Knightley, & Kris Kristofferson
i haven't even finished watching this movie & i'm already reviewing it. What does that tell you?
Whilst watching last night, i kept thinking that it seemed familiar to me, even tho i'd never seen it before. Then i realized i HAD seen it before, only it was called The Manchurian Candidate, Gothika, & The Butterfly Effect. Adrian Brody (who somehow manages to always be handsome despite that crazy nose) plays Gulf War vet Jack Starks tangled up in Gulf War Syndrome & at the mercy of evil Dr. Kris-kris in a mental ward. Dr. Kris experiments w/him & locks him up in a morgue drawer (pause: the movie should've been called The Drawer, not The Jacket) where Jack is violently confronted with clausterphobia, crazy flashing memories and....the ability to time travel?? Oh dear.
In his Marty McFlying, he meets up with Keira Knightley in the year 2007, who should NEVER attempt an American accent AGAIN. Her interpretation of 'American' is to make her voice unattractively deep, which, in addition to her annoying habit of talking through her teeth, is just a mess. (As one review said, "Maybe in the sequel Jack can go back in time & pick a better co-star.") She's a mean, low-voiced, teeth-talking drunk, and Jack falls in love w/her because she tells him how he dies? Whatever. Summary: Brody's ok, Kris-kris is cool to watch, Keira needs to be drowned by pirates. The giant plot leaps keep me from caring about what Jack's deal is. 2 out 5 crazy noses.
If you don't like musicals, i wouldn't suggest this movie. If Moulin Rouge & Chicago were a stretch for you, Rent is not going to change your mind. It's the musicalist musical-turned-film i've seen yet. Thus, if you LIKE musicals, you'll love it. It's dichotomous like that.
i liked (but did not love) this movie. It was well acted & sung, probably because 6/8 of the main cast have been playing these roles for 10 years. It has some really good coreography (dance scene in a moving subway? you bet!) though 'The Tango Maureen' pales dramatically in comparison to the 200 person'Roxanne' tango in Moulin Rouge & Chicago's high energy 'Cell Block Tango.' The love story between Collins & Angel is the best, with Law & Order's Jesse Martin reprising his Broadway role & bringing a sense of appreciation to Angel's funeral scene, which could've easily become just a swamp of grief. Maureen's 'protest' was hilarious & absurd in the live version i saw in San Diego, but on film i think the director wanted people to take it seriously. Not possible & a big mistake. i would've liked more of Taye Diggs (and not just because he's really really ridiculously good looking), he was one of the better actors of the cast & he didn't get to sing enough. All in all it was a movie to appreciate, if not love, for the tremendous amount of talent that was misdirected at times, but nevertheless very present. i give it 3 out of 5 bad 80's costumes.
THE JACKET, starring Adrien Brody, Keira Knightley, & Kris Kristofferson
i haven't even finished watching this movie & i'm already reviewing it. What does that tell you?
Whilst watching last night, i kept thinking that it seemed familiar to me, even tho i'd never seen it before. Then i realized i HAD seen it before, only it was called The Manchurian Candidate, Gothika, & The Butterfly Effect. Adrian Brody (who somehow manages to always be handsome despite that crazy nose) plays Gulf War vet Jack Starks tangled up in Gulf War Syndrome & at the mercy of evil Dr. Kris-kris in a mental ward. Dr. Kris experiments w/him & locks him up in a morgue drawer (pause: the movie should've been called The Drawer, not The Jacket) where Jack is violently confronted with clausterphobia, crazy flashing memories and....the ability to time travel?? Oh dear.
In his Marty McFlying, he meets up with Keira Knightley in the year 2007, who should NEVER attempt an American accent AGAIN. Her interpretation of 'American' is to make her voice unattractively deep, which, in addition to her annoying habit of talking through her teeth, is just a mess. (As one review said, "Maybe in the sequel Jack can go back in time & pick a better co-star.") She's a mean, low-voiced, teeth-talking drunk, and Jack falls in love w/her because she tells him how he dies? Whatever. Summary: Brody's ok, Kris-kris is cool to watch, Keira needs to be drowned by pirates. The giant plot leaps keep me from caring about what Jack's deal is. 2 out 5 crazy noses.
November 28, 2005
Come
The Advent Season has begun! It's exciting to think that Christ's birthday is less than a month away. Here's to hoping we honor his b-day half as much as we anticipate and celebrate our own and those of our loved ones.
Collect: All-powerful God, increase our strength of will for doing good that Christ may find an eager welcome at his coming and call us to his side in the kingdom of heaven where he lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever.
Collect: All-powerful God, increase our strength of will for doing good that Christ may find an eager welcome at his coming and call us to his side in the kingdom of heaven where he lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever.
November 23, 2005
A coffee maker is a robot.
The Office is tied with about 5 other shows as my Total and Complete Favorite Television Series Ever, and i recently discovered that the ever-hilarious Dwight has a blog! Sample---
Also- think about the way the throat and swallowing works. The epiglotis decides what goes where down the trachea and/or esophogus. But it gets no respect. This tiny flap of skin in your neck decides if something is food or air. The food goes to your tummy. The air goes to your lungs. Without it your food would go straight into your lungs and clog them up. You'd have soup in your lungs. Or a sandwich. Or doritos. Or Fresca. OR you would get air in your tummy and be a big gassy fart bag all the time. All that from the tiny, powerful epiglotis.
In many ways, I am like the epiglotis. Small, unappreciated, not well thought of or respected, but POWERFUL. So powerful that without me you'd have food in your lungs.
Today's topic: "What part of the body are YOU mos tlike?" (and don't say the genitals or the butt)
Also- think about the way the throat and swallowing works. The epiglotis decides what goes where down the trachea and/or esophogus. But it gets no respect. This tiny flap of skin in your neck decides if something is food or air. The food goes to your tummy. The air goes to your lungs. Without it your food would go straight into your lungs and clog them up. You'd have soup in your lungs. Or a sandwich. Or doritos. Or Fresca. OR you would get air in your tummy and be a big gassy fart bag all the time. All that from the tiny, powerful epiglotis.
In many ways, I am like the epiglotis. Small, unappreciated, not well thought of or respected, but POWERFUL. So powerful that without me you'd have food in your lungs.
Today's topic: "What part of the body are YOU mos tlike?" (and don't say the genitals or the butt)
November 21, 2005
14::
the number of cat toys and improvised cat toys (bottle caps, rubber bands, sour Starbursts) that we just found under the oven. The screen door was too big for him to shove under.
Movie Review: Stage Beauty
STAGE BEAUTY:: starring Billy Crudup, Claire Danes, Tom Wilkinson, and Rupert Everett as a straight guy for once....but barely.
i wanted to see this movie b/c once upon a time i saw the play it is based on, and the play is based on actual events from the diary of real-person Samuel Pepys, a social mover and shaker in 1600s England. (remember this play Whit? i know you do and i know why you do...... *evil grin*)
So the premise is this: It's England in the days when women were forbidden to act and all female parts....er, roles, were played by men. (unless you were Gwyneth Paltrow and your Oscar was undeserved. But i digress.) Billy Crudup plays Ned Kenyston, who is famous throughout everywhere for his performances as Ophelia, Juliet, and other lead female roles, including Othello's doomed love, Desdemona. Only this is back when acting was hardly realistic, and playing a woman meant speaking in a high voice and moving your arms weird. When Ned's Desdemona gets smothered by Othello, she simply twirls her wrist like a falling leaf to signify dying. Yeah.
Anyway, he's the shizzle and Claire Danes is his dresser (basically his personal assistant), Mariah. But wait! She's also an outlaw! of sorts- she is illegally playing Desdemona in an underground theater group and getting rave reviews. Truthfully, she is playing Ned playing Desdemona: she's actually not that good of an actress. Ned is secretly sleeping with the theater's benefactor, who is a man, and Mariah is carrying a secret torch for the flaming Ned (HAHA! i'm awesome).
By and by, they all end up at a party thrown by Rupert Everett/King Charles, who has just returned from exile and is bored to death that the theater-going experience is just as lame as when he left it. Charles has a mistress who wants to act, and since Charles is pissed at the appropriate politicos that outlaw females on the stage, he decrees that now women are allowed to act. Ned's pissed- he insists there's no art in women playing women and he refuses to play men for the same reason. Eventually, he insults Charles's mistress, so Charles gets mad and makes another law that only men can play men and only women can play women. This means that Ned's out of a job and Mariah becomes the It Girl. (being The Pioneer makes up for her lack of talent)
She becomes aware of her suckiness and seeks out Ned in his slummy conditions and eventually he comes to help the theater fix their Othello problems. They realize that both of their portrayals of poor Desdemona have been all wrong, so Ned usurps the always-great Tom Wilkinson as Othello for the final scene and plays it realistically- smothering Mariah's Desdemona past the point of stage violence and just short of the the point of actually killing her. Mariah/Desdemona appropriately fights back- no twirling wrist deaths here! In Othello's love and greif for Desdemona, Ned finally finds the bridge between playing a woman and playing a man, and with the scene they usher in a new era of acting. Plus they hook up.
The play was superior, but the movie was better than i thought it would be... and not just because Billy Crudup, when not in Renaissance Drag, is very easy on the eyes. It's an interesting look at gender and sexuality, on who we think we are and who others have told us we are. The acting was good-- the more i see of Claire Danes the more i realize that her acting consists mainly of looking at people and physically responding to what they're saying, and not so much delivering lines herself. This is not to say she's bad, i think she's pretty good, but she's found her money shot and she sticks a little too closely to it. Billy Crudup is very good, especially when trying unsuccessfully to deliver a man's soliloquy; it's a troubling scene to watch. Tom Wilkinson plays a typical Tom Wilkinson role, but unlike Ms. Danes, he seems to make more out of a character than what is written. Rupert Everett does alot with the role he's given, and is hardly recognizable without that great 'i'm Rupert Everett' voice and delivery. i've decided to like him more. HAHA! i just realized that after watching this movie on Saturday, we watched Tootsie on Sunday! Proof that the universe works in circles! Anyway, if anything, this film is a bit of a history lesson and it serves as a reminder of the awesomeness that is Mr. Shakespeare's Othello.
Stage Beauty gets 3.8 out of 5 Smother Pillows. Its playbill predecessor, Compleat Female Stage Beauty, gets 5 out of 5 Unexpected Full Frontals. (ask Whit)
i wanted to see this movie b/c once upon a time i saw the play it is based on, and the play is based on actual events from the diary of real-person Samuel Pepys, a social mover and shaker in 1600s England. (remember this play Whit? i know you do and i know why you do...... *evil grin*)
So the premise is this: It's England in the days when women were forbidden to act and all female parts....er, roles, were played by men. (unless you were Gwyneth Paltrow and your Oscar was undeserved. But i digress.) Billy Crudup plays Ned Kenyston, who is famous throughout everywhere for his performances as Ophelia, Juliet, and other lead female roles, including Othello's doomed love, Desdemona. Only this is back when acting was hardly realistic, and playing a woman meant speaking in a high voice and moving your arms weird. When Ned's Desdemona gets smothered by Othello, she simply twirls her wrist like a falling leaf to signify dying. Yeah.
Anyway, he's the shizzle and Claire Danes is his dresser (basically his personal assistant), Mariah. But wait! She's also an outlaw! of sorts- she is illegally playing Desdemona in an underground theater group and getting rave reviews. Truthfully, she is playing Ned playing Desdemona: she's actually not that good of an actress. Ned is secretly sleeping with the theater's benefactor, who is a man, and Mariah is carrying a secret torch for the flaming Ned (HAHA! i'm awesome).
By and by, they all end up at a party thrown by Rupert Everett/King Charles, who has just returned from exile and is bored to death that the theater-going experience is just as lame as when he left it. Charles has a mistress who wants to act, and since Charles is pissed at the appropriate politicos that outlaw females on the stage, he decrees that now women are allowed to act. Ned's pissed- he insists there's no art in women playing women and he refuses to play men for the same reason. Eventually, he insults Charles's mistress, so Charles gets mad and makes another law that only men can play men and only women can play women. This means that Ned's out of a job and Mariah becomes the It Girl. (being The Pioneer makes up for her lack of talent)
She becomes aware of her suckiness and seeks out Ned in his slummy conditions and eventually he comes to help the theater fix their Othello problems. They realize that both of their portrayals of poor Desdemona have been all wrong, so Ned usurps the always-great Tom Wilkinson as Othello for the final scene and plays it realistically- smothering Mariah's Desdemona past the point of stage violence and just short of the the point of actually killing her. Mariah/Desdemona appropriately fights back- no twirling wrist deaths here! In Othello's love and greif for Desdemona, Ned finally finds the bridge between playing a woman and playing a man, and with the scene they usher in a new era of acting. Plus they hook up.
The play was superior, but the movie was better than i thought it would be... and not just because Billy Crudup, when not in Renaissance Drag, is very easy on the eyes. It's an interesting look at gender and sexuality, on who we think we are and who others have told us we are. The acting was good-- the more i see of Claire Danes the more i realize that her acting consists mainly of looking at people and physically responding to what they're saying, and not so much delivering lines herself. This is not to say she's bad, i think she's pretty good, but she's found her money shot and she sticks a little too closely to it. Billy Crudup is very good, especially when trying unsuccessfully to deliver a man's soliloquy; it's a troubling scene to watch. Tom Wilkinson plays a typical Tom Wilkinson role, but unlike Ms. Danes, he seems to make more out of a character than what is written. Rupert Everett does alot with the role he's given, and is hardly recognizable without that great 'i'm Rupert Everett' voice and delivery. i've decided to like him more. HAHA! i just realized that after watching this movie on Saturday, we watched Tootsie on Sunday! Proof that the universe works in circles! Anyway, if anything, this film is a bit of a history lesson and it serves as a reminder of the awesomeness that is Mr. Shakespeare's Othello.
Stage Beauty gets 3.8 out of 5 Smother Pillows. Its playbill predecessor, Compleat Female Stage Beauty, gets 5 out of 5 Unexpected Full Frontals. (ask Whit)
November 18, 2005
Glory Indeed
From E!Online-- "Talk about your all-star comedy teams. Seriously funny comedians Will Ferrell, Jon Heder, Will Arnett and Amy Poehler kick up their heels in Blades of Glory. The story centers on two male figure skaters (Ferrell and Heder) who are banned from the sport only to return as pair competitors to face their bitter rivals (Arnett and Poehler). Ben Stiller produces the flick."
TOP 5 SIMPSONS EPISODES
Whenever i think i'm running out of Top 5 topics, i think of the Simpsons, then i realize that i'm being a weenie in light of their longevity. Given that there's more than 330 episodes out there, i'm sure there will be future Simpsons lists, Top 5 Ralph Quotes, Top 5 Guest Stars, Top 5 Treehouses of Horror, etc. Here's my list of best all-around episodes, feel free to share your favorites.
"Das Bus" (the 'Lord of the Flies' episode) which is initiated by Bart and Nelson 'racing' an apple and orange down the aisle of the school bus. Ralph tosses a non-rolling banana down to join the race: "Go banana!!" Fast forward to Ralph's "I eated the purple berries!.....It tastes like burning" and you've got 2 of many reasons this episode rocks. Highlights include great contributions from Millhouse and Nelson, with James Earl Jones as the narrator, Homer's internet company, CompuGobalHyperMegaNet, plus it encourages people to read classic literature.
"El Viaje de Nuestro Jomer"--Homer does his version of the pee-dance: "Marge! We're gonna miss the Chili Cookoff! Less artsy more fartsy!" They go, he drinks too much and eats some of Wiggum's crazy chili, only to end up hallucinating in the desert with a talking coyote (the late Johnny Cash). Lost, he wanders to the lighthouse to find his soul mate, where Marge tracks him down after remembering his affection for blinking lights and proving their true soulmatehood. Aw!
"How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"--The family sends Homer to Rock n Roll Camp!! Fun guest stars abound: Tom Petty, Lenny Kravitz, Elvis Costello, Mick Jagger, etc. Homer and the rest of Springfield's men learn about crotch stuffing, songwriting, and the like. At the final concert for the town, Homer can't face the shame of just being a roadie, so he steals the show with his improv'd song "Testin' My Love." Highlight: Homer swinging the guitar around by the cord yelling "Baby baby baby baby!"
"I Love Lisa"--(i'm a big Lisa fan, so i had to give her shout out. ) Lisa notices that Ralph didn't get any Valentines, so she gives him one reading "I choo-choo-choose you!" (and it has a picture of a train!) Ralph misunderstands the gesture and falls madly in love with her. He announces it publicly on Krusty's Show and Lisa erupts, confessing that she doesn't love Ralph at all. Ever-helpful Bart later plays the video to her in slo-mo: "You can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half!" Feeling bad, Lisa gives Ralph another Valentine reading "Let's BEE friends!" (and it has a picture of a bee!) Highlights include Homer's tricking Ralph into putting a new coat of tar on the roof.
"Missionary: Impossible"--Homer pledges $10,000 to save his favorite British sitcom, "Do Shut Up." Betty White tracks him down for the $, w/the Teletubbies and Mr. Rogers as backup. Homer flees to the church where Rev. Lovejoy ships him off as a missionary to the South Pacific. Homer opens Lucky Savage casino, which leads to alcoholism and violence, so to atone he agrees to finish building a chapel. Upon completion, he and the girl he's named Lisa Junior ring the chapel bell too loud and start an earthquake and subsequent lava flood. Great jokes about the church and casinos, the fierce Betty White, and of course, "Save us Jebus!"
"Das Bus" (the 'Lord of the Flies' episode) which is initiated by Bart and Nelson 'racing' an apple and orange down the aisle of the school bus. Ralph tosses a non-rolling banana down to join the race: "Go banana!!" Fast forward to Ralph's "I eated the purple berries!.....It tastes like burning" and you've got 2 of many reasons this episode rocks. Highlights include great contributions from Millhouse and Nelson, with James Earl Jones as the narrator, Homer's internet company, CompuGobalHyperMegaNet, plus it encourages people to read classic literature.
"El Viaje de Nuestro Jomer"--Homer does his version of the pee-dance: "Marge! We're gonna miss the Chili Cookoff! Less artsy more fartsy!" They go, he drinks too much and eats some of Wiggum's crazy chili, only to end up hallucinating in the desert with a talking coyote (the late Johnny Cash). Lost, he wanders to the lighthouse to find his soul mate, where Marge tracks him down after remembering his affection for blinking lights and proving their true soulmatehood. Aw!
"How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"--The family sends Homer to Rock n Roll Camp!! Fun guest stars abound: Tom Petty, Lenny Kravitz, Elvis Costello, Mick Jagger, etc. Homer and the rest of Springfield's men learn about crotch stuffing, songwriting, and the like. At the final concert for the town, Homer can't face the shame of just being a roadie, so he steals the show with his improv'd song "Testin' My Love." Highlight: Homer swinging the guitar around by the cord yelling "Baby baby baby baby!"
"I Love Lisa"--(i'm a big Lisa fan, so i had to give her shout out. ) Lisa notices that Ralph didn't get any Valentines, so she gives him one reading "I choo-choo-choose you!" (and it has a picture of a train!) Ralph misunderstands the gesture and falls madly in love with her. He announces it publicly on Krusty's Show and Lisa erupts, confessing that she doesn't love Ralph at all. Ever-helpful Bart later plays the video to her in slo-mo: "You can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half!" Feeling bad, Lisa gives Ralph another Valentine reading "Let's BEE friends!" (and it has a picture of a bee!) Highlights include Homer's tricking Ralph into putting a new coat of tar on the roof.
"Missionary: Impossible"--Homer pledges $10,000 to save his favorite British sitcom, "Do Shut Up." Betty White tracks him down for the $, w/the Teletubbies and Mr. Rogers as backup. Homer flees to the church where Rev. Lovejoy ships him off as a missionary to the South Pacific. Homer opens Lucky Savage casino, which leads to alcoholism and violence, so to atone he agrees to finish building a chapel. Upon completion, he and the girl he's named Lisa Junior ring the chapel bell too loud and start an earthquake and subsequent lava flood. Great jokes about the church and casinos, the fierce Betty White, and of course, "Save us Jebus!"
November 15, 2005
Blessed Are The Rich?
In case you needed a good reason to go to church: an economist finds a statistical correlation between income and religious service attendance.
November 13, 2005
Cosmo Brown
This past week Josh and i finally saw the movie Singin' In The Rain. (In other news, Singin' In The Rain has been added to my Christmas list. Take note.) As tempting as it is to say "They just don't make movies like they used to," it actually encouraged me to try and see the simplicity of talent in what i now watch. If you haven't seen this classic, rent it, Netflix it, catch it on A&E, whatever you need to do. A return to form is always a good thing. Also, in honor of this film i've changed Cosmo's name to Cosmo Brown-Kramer.
Proof that God is All Powerful
This weekend was Apprentice Weekend with the youth group at our church. When we signed up to help, we were unaware that this was an all-youth event, not just the senior high students we know and love. So John needs to be tied naked to the top of an ant hill and covered in molten-hot honey. i ended up with a group of 3 senior and 2 junior high girls. One junior high student seriously had me standing on the railing of our balcony whispering "Goodbye cruel world." So this is how i know that God is all powerful: there are people in this world who absolutely love junior high students and make a career out of spending hours and hours and hours with them. i can't stand them.
Anyway, the point of the activity was to take a combined $50 ($10 each) and multiply it somehow. We worked on a bare budget, cleaning windows for the elderly and using our own paper towels and Windex. We scored a surprising amount of cash this way, by charging $2/per window, inside and out, and $4/per sliding door. We also featured Goldfish Racing, which ended up getting us the Most Creative prize and a limo ride for our team. Goldfish Racing involves buying two vinyl rain gutters, capping the ends, filling them with water, and 'pushing' the fish along by blowing through a straw behind it. First fish to the opposite end of the gutter wins! We were able to return the gutters at the end of the day and thus spend only 50 cents on the fish! It only got us $8, but that's ok. And none of the fish died so i gave them to one of Jim Manker's kids when Jim wasn't looking. :P In the end, we made $225 dollars and each girl got $45 to put toward Winter Camp, which costs about $150, so not bad at all. Plus we got kicked out of WalMart, which didn't bother me in the least because you KNOW it wasn't my idea to set up there.
Anyway, the point of the activity was to take a combined $50 ($10 each) and multiply it somehow. We worked on a bare budget, cleaning windows for the elderly and using our own paper towels and Windex. We scored a surprising amount of cash this way, by charging $2/per window, inside and out, and $4/per sliding door. We also featured Goldfish Racing, which ended up getting us the Most Creative prize and a limo ride for our team. Goldfish Racing involves buying two vinyl rain gutters, capping the ends, filling them with water, and 'pushing' the fish along by blowing through a straw behind it. First fish to the opposite end of the gutter wins! We were able to return the gutters at the end of the day and thus spend only 50 cents on the fish! It only got us $8, but that's ok. And none of the fish died so i gave them to one of Jim Manker's kids when Jim wasn't looking. :P In the end, we made $225 dollars and each girl got $45 to put toward Winter Camp, which costs about $150, so not bad at all. Plus we got kicked out of WalMart, which didn't bother me in the least because you KNOW it wasn't my idea to set up there.
November 11, 2005
Top 5 Rejected Band Names Before Coming Up With 'Death Cab For Cutie'
i don't know why Death Cab For Cutie is what it is, but here are my picks for the band names that almost were:
White Van for Sticky
Metermaid Boogaloo
Soybean Funk and the OhNeeDers
Firetruck Cheezit
Good Golly Ma
Anything with 'Boogaloo' in the name gets heavy rotation on my tape player, that's fo shizzle.
White Van for Sticky
Metermaid Boogaloo
Soybean Funk and the OhNeeDers
Firetruck Cheezit
Good Golly Ma
Anything with 'Boogaloo' in the name gets heavy rotation on my tape player, that's fo shizzle.
November 09, 2005
people suck
Prop 73 failed by the narrowest margin of all the Propositions: 52.6 to 47.4 percent.
To say i'm disappointed would be an understatement. i feel discouraged and angry and basically like humans in general are Crap. Since Planned Parenthood put so much into protecting their financial interests, creeps can go on having sex with 13-year-olds because nobody is ever going to know, and the clinics are going to keep tossing the evidence out as soon as the check clears.
Two-thirds of pregnant, CA, school-age children were victims of sexual predators over 22 years old. Citing their desire to protect privacy, abortionists withhold information about sexual abuse of pregnant children from parents and authorities. Planned Parenthood sold the lie that parental involvement would harm girls, but CA courts had already ruled that there is no evidence of any harm to minors from laws in the 30 other states requiring parental notification... the same states that show decreases in minor abortions and pregnancies when involvement laws are in place.
It just sucks. People suck.
To say i'm disappointed would be an understatement. i feel discouraged and angry and basically like humans in general are Crap. Since Planned Parenthood put so much into protecting their financial interests, creeps can go on having sex with 13-year-olds because nobody is ever going to know, and the clinics are going to keep tossing the evidence out as soon as the check clears.
Two-thirds of pregnant, CA, school-age children were victims of sexual predators over 22 years old. Citing their desire to protect privacy, abortionists withhold information about sexual abuse of pregnant children from parents and authorities. Planned Parenthood sold the lie that parental involvement would harm girls, but CA courts had already ruled that there is no evidence of any harm to minors from laws in the 30 other states requiring parental notification... the same states that show decreases in minor abortions and pregnancies when involvement laws are in place.
It just sucks. People suck.
November 08, 2005
November 05, 2005
Movie Review: Chicken Little
Starring Zach Braff as Chicken Little, who is the embarrassment of Oakey Oaks after his claim of falling sky. Tons of quality funny folk featured, including Joan Cusack, Don Knotts, and Steve Zahn as Runt, who was actually quite large. (i'm not used to Steve Zahn being the biggest guy on the screen so it was a kinda strange to wrap my head around it) i love Joan Cusack and was really looking forward to her part, but she wasn't given much to work with at all, so that was a little disappointing. The gang has the standard Silent Sidekick, in this case it's Fish Out Of Water, who is actually pretty funny. He does The Robot as a dodgeball technique :] Zach Braff does a great job, as does Batman Himself: Adam West.
It was a fun movie, but not as fun as Pixar counterparts usually are. The moral of the story for the kids is 'You can easily be misunderstood and become the embarrassment of your entire town and most painfully, your own father, and unless aliens violently invade the planet there's nothing you can do about it.' Maybe the moral is 'Don't be mean to misunderstood kids', but i'm guessing more children walked out of the theater worried about being shunned than eager to hang out with any Ugly Ducklings.
Overall, it was a good movie to see in the theaters, but only for the matinee price. 3 out of 5 Fred Willard Aliens.
It was a fun movie, but not as fun as Pixar counterparts usually are. The moral of the story for the kids is 'You can easily be misunderstood and become the embarrassment of your entire town and most painfully, your own father, and unless aliens violently invade the planet there's nothing you can do about it.' Maybe the moral is 'Don't be mean to misunderstood kids', but i'm guessing more children walked out of the theater worried about being shunned than eager to hang out with any Ugly Ducklings.
Overall, it was a good movie to see in the theaters, but only for the matinee price. 3 out of 5 Fred Willard Aliens.
November 04, 2005
TOP 10 OVER & UNDER RATED ACTORS
(inspired by Winter, who is underrated)
Okay- skipping over the obviously overrated (Cameron, Tom, you listening?), here are my picks for the people that just aren't worth their bajillion dollar paychecks, along with the people who need either an Oscar, more roles, or both.
SO OVER.......................... WAY UNDER
Russel Crowe..................... Kevin Bacon
Ewan MacGregor ................Sam Rockwell
Denzel Washington............. Cillian Murphy
Tobey Maguire.................... John Leguizamo
Jeremy Piven...................... Alec Baldwin
Angelina Jolie..................... Marcia Gay Harden
Kate Hudson....................... Alison Lohman
Renee Zellweger.................. Maggie Gyllenhaal
Drew Barrymore................... Thandie Newton
Teri Hatcher......................... Catherine Keener
Okay- skipping over the obviously overrated (Cameron, Tom, you listening?), here are my picks for the people that just aren't worth their bajillion dollar paychecks, along with the people who need either an Oscar, more roles, or both.
SO OVER.......................... WAY UNDER
Russel Crowe..................... Kevin Bacon
Ewan MacGregor ................Sam Rockwell
Denzel Washington............. Cillian Murphy
Tobey Maguire.................... John Leguizamo
Jeremy Piven...................... Alec Baldwin
Angelina Jolie..................... Marcia Gay Harden
Kate Hudson....................... Alison Lohman
Renee Zellweger.................. Maggie Gyllenhaal
Drew Barrymore................... Thandie Newton
Teri Hatcher......................... Catherine Keener
November 02, 2005
Daily Scream?
i discovered this through Charlie (who needs a cloak...). Put your name into Google followed by the word needs. It has to be in double quotes, ie "Kallie needs" Here's what i need, let me know what you need!
-Kallie needs to go to a veterinary office for X rays or an ultrasound
-Kallie just needs some time to show off her true qualities (and there are many) parentheses NOT mine!
-Kallie needs to be on Babe Blvd
-Kallie needs all of her family members for the rest of her life
-Kallie needs sleep now
-Kallie needs surgery to save her life
-Kallie needs moving asap
-Kallie needs some professional help – from a Dog trainer
-Kallie needs lots of affection and attention
-Kallie needs her daily scream
-Kallie needs to go to a veterinary office for X rays or an ultrasound
-Kallie just needs some time to show off her true qualities (and there are many) parentheses NOT mine!
-Kallie needs to be on Babe Blvd
-Kallie needs all of her family members for the rest of her life
-Kallie needs sleep now
-Kallie needs surgery to save her life
-Kallie needs moving asap
-Kallie needs some professional help – from a Dog trainer
-Kallie needs lots of affection and attention
-Kallie needs her daily scream
November 01, 2005
The Great Pumpkin Show Off
Frankenpumpkin by Josh, Drooling Gourd by Travis, October Zen by Kallie
The gallery of entries at my parents' party.
Trick or Treat Food Court
Whilst millions of people dressed up in awkward contraptions of spook and millions more ignored said celebrants and pretended to not hear the doorbell or the sound of breaking eggshells, i became the most productive person in the country. i thought to myself, 'Kalpal, you gorgeous example of all things nifty, there probably won't be very many people at the mall tonight if you want to get some early Christmas shopping done.' And there weren't and i DID. i actually wiped out an entire family worth of gifts and nabbed some birthday presents in the process.
The mall was deserted of shoppers, but, disturbingly, was populated by too many parents taking their kids trick-or-treating from store to store. Now i don't know about you, but isn't the fun of trick-or-treating going from spooky stranger's house, to spooky stranger's house and forcing them for one night out of the year to acknowledge that you exist, you're adorable, and you deserve all the sugar they have? Why go to a well lit, hardly decorated mall and get a mouse pad from the Discovery Channel store after they've run out of candy? (true story. Saddest thing in the world is watching a 6 yr old boy dressed as Spidey get a lame mouse pad when he wanted a fistful of Gobstoppers. You can bet he won't allow his parents to take him Mall-or-Treating next year) Maybe this indoor Halloween stuff has been going on for years and i haven't noticed, but i think it's DUMB. It wasn't even a cold night outside! AND i was in Roseville, so it's not like these 200 families dragging their costumed kids through the Eddie Bauer store on their way to Forever 21 couldn't find a decent neighborhood to tromp through. i'm pretty sure the w.a.s.p.s that make up the Roseville and Rocklin city councils have all ensured that all 967 subdivisions, condo and apartment complexes are identically attractive.
Is the pervasion of capitalism to blame that now we spend holidays in shopping malls? Perhaps, but who am i to say? i was shopping.
The mall was deserted of shoppers, but, disturbingly, was populated by too many parents taking their kids trick-or-treating from store to store. Now i don't know about you, but isn't the fun of trick-or-treating going from spooky stranger's house, to spooky stranger's house and forcing them for one night out of the year to acknowledge that you exist, you're adorable, and you deserve all the sugar they have? Why go to a well lit, hardly decorated mall and get a mouse pad from the Discovery Channel store after they've run out of candy? (true story. Saddest thing in the world is watching a 6 yr old boy dressed as Spidey get a lame mouse pad when he wanted a fistful of Gobstoppers. You can bet he won't allow his parents to take him Mall-or-Treating next year) Maybe this indoor Halloween stuff has been going on for years and i haven't noticed, but i think it's DUMB. It wasn't even a cold night outside! AND i was in Roseville, so it's not like these 200 families dragging their costumed kids through the Eddie Bauer store on their way to Forever 21 couldn't find a decent neighborhood to tromp through. i'm pretty sure the w.a.s.p.s that make up the Roseville and Rocklin city councils have all ensured that all 967 subdivisions, condo and apartment complexes are identically attractive.
Is the pervasion of capitalism to blame that now we spend holidays in shopping malls? Perhaps, but who am i to say? i was shopping.
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