November 01, 2005

Trick or Treat Food Court

Whilst millions of people dressed up in awkward contraptions of spook and millions more ignored said celebrants and pretended to not hear the doorbell or the sound of breaking eggshells, i became the most productive person in the country. i thought to myself, 'Kalpal, you gorgeous example of all things nifty, there probably won't be very many people at the mall tonight if you want to get some early Christmas shopping done.' And there weren't and i DID. i actually wiped out an entire family worth of gifts and nabbed some birthday presents in the process.

The mall was deserted of shoppers, but, disturbingly, was populated by too many parents taking their kids trick-or-treating from store to store. Now i don't know about you, but isn't the fun of trick-or-treating going from spooky stranger's house, to spooky stranger's house and forcing them for one night out of the year to acknowledge that you exist, you're adorable, and you deserve all the sugar they have? Why go to a well lit, hardly decorated mall and get a mouse pad from the Discovery Channel store after they've run out of candy? (true story. Saddest thing in the world is watching a 6 yr old boy dressed as Spidey get a lame mouse pad when he wanted a fistful of Gobstoppers. You can bet he won't allow his parents to take him Mall-or-Treating next year) Maybe this indoor Halloween stuff has been going on for years and i haven't noticed, but i think it's DUMB. It wasn't even a cold night outside! AND i was in Roseville, so it's not like these 200 families dragging their costumed kids through the Eddie Bauer store on their way to Forever 21 couldn't find a decent neighborhood to tromp through. i'm pretty sure the w.a.s.p.s that make up the Roseville and Rocklin city councils have all ensured that all 967 subdivisions, condo and apartment complexes are identically attractive.

Is the pervasion of capitalism to blame that now we spend holidays in shopping malls? Perhaps, but who am i to say? i was shopping.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

good story! three cheers! i had a long day of classes and studying for classes, and when i came home to check my email and the happenings on the web, (because that's what labbies do) i got the best halloween story yet! yay for my sister!
the only other halloween stories i have been hearing are about "the freak fest" (no joke, that was the actual name) dance party that took place at Andy's house last night. seriously?! apparently.
we (fortunately) weren't there to personally witness the whitetest of white kids get their respectvie groove on, but i have been hearing something about "like 200 people dude!"
i haven't spoken with any of the party hosts (john nemo was abscent from our 7:30am class...curious), but i will be sure to fill you in if anything exciting happened.
once again, thanks for making my afternoon more enjoyable with mental pictures of mall-or-treaters. ha ha, it got me again... mall-or-treaters!

winnie niemeyer said...

cool story hansel! also, bonnie, please do pass on any dirt having to do with said "freak fest" and our dear john niemeyer...this could come in handy when i blackmail him for a mini cooper for christmas...EEEEEXCELLENT.