"My dad used to say that inside of the car's air-bags was uncooked popcorn. When you wrecked the popcorn would pop and you would have a snack until help came."
"When I was little, my dad told me ATMs worked by having little monkeys inside them. I believed that for years. Now I work in a bank, and wish it were true!"
"My dad told me the worst swear word you could possibly say was "Bostonian". It meant "someone who has no private parts." My brother and I used the word until we were teenagers and my father giggled every time we said it, right before he sent us to our rooms."
"When i was little my dad told me that polyester was a small animal in Australia & they would kill it to make clothes. That night i sat in my room reading the labels on my clothes for hours & threw all of the polyester ones away."
"When I was little my Dad told me that the tune played by the ice-cream van was the ice-cream man letting everyone know that he'd run out of ice-cream."
"When we'd approach exits or toll booths, my father told me the sound the car made when it went over the rumble strips was the car getting angry because I had been bad. I still sit up a little straighter when I hit a rumble strip."
And finally, my own dear father once told us he had a crooked nostril because he'd insulted my mother's stew and she had punched him in the face. i lived YEARS of my life believing my mom was that defensive of her cooking. i might have even told a few people. Sorry mom. Blame dad.
-kallie
3 comments:
i can back kallie up on this lie told by our dear father. (since kallie does lie sometimes...a lot, i just figured i would make sure you all know that this is, in fact, what we were told as children).
ALSO, what's this "sorry mom. blame dad" bit? mom is just as guilty in this situation because she let us believe him! so much so that i am pretty sure i remember eating all of my tofu stir-fry that 1 time she cooked it. even she knew it was bad... but not because ANYONE would dare to say so out of fear for our nose's safety. crafty little thing, that mom. could the crooked nose lie have been her idea all along?!?!?
I guess I gave too much credit to the intelligence of my children! I didn't once think they believed us (yes, it was both Dad and me). After all, did I ever once demonstrate that sort of violence? (wooden spoon aside - you deserved that!)
when andy and i were kids we always wanted to go to this place called tony's for the best pizza in the world. dad would say "oh no, we are going somewhere even better...we are going to mitchelli's!" we'd get all excited, and he'd parade us out through the front door, turn us around, and then walk us right back into our own kitchen. we were really dumb kids i guess...
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