Michael Bay may spawn a new 'Rosemary's Baby''Rosemary's Baby' may soon get an evil twin. Paramount has partnered with Michael Bay's production company Platinum Dunes to develop a remake of Roman Polanski's 1968 classic, about a young woman unwittingly impregnated with the devil's child. The original, of course, starred Mia Farrow and won a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for Ruth Gordon. Although Polanski doesn't have any contractual control over a new version, Paramount has reached out to the director for his blessing, according to a studio insider. "We certainly come to [the project] with trepidation because of how important [the original] film is," says Dunes partner Brad Fuller. "But we're going to see if there's a great way to tell that story." To that end, Fuller and co-is currently taking pitches from screenwriters around town. Fuller doesn’t expect that Bay, currently set to helm 'Transformers 2' for summer 2009, will direct this Baby.
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Let's break this down, shall we? You have the original film, based on Ira Levin's literary gem, directed by Roman Polanski, the Oscar-winner behind Chinatown and The Painist. It's a masterful classic, a slowly unfolding horror 
realized through subtle, Oscar-winning performances. Then you have Michael Bay. Producer du jour of such cinematic feats as The Island, Bad Boys II, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, and of course, my personal point of loathing, Transformers. With Bay at the helm, even if he's not in the director's chair, naive waif-wallflower Rosemary, played so well by Mia Farrow, will be played by the latest red-lipped bimbo (or worse, Ashlee Simpson). Instead of a 60's housewife, Rosemary will be cop working undercover as something wholly unbelieveable, like a spaceship mechanic, and her husband, Guy, played in this version by the terribly miscast (and beefed up) Justin Long, hoping to make that painful leap from comedy to drama, will be a rogue arms dealer instead of a struggling stage actor. Instead of Tanis Root as the devil's drug, the senior citizen coven will use Rufis, and Rosemary and Minnie will have a showdown at the abortion clinic, instead of Bergdorf's, just for added effect. There will be car chases, maybe a speedboat chase, someone will get knifed in the eye, there will be a vague reason for Guy to go into a strip club, and Rosemary's gal pals will all be changed to campy gay men. The Prince of Darnkess, who makes a very brief, fractured appearance in the original, will have several scenes in this version. Ro's horned babydaddy will of course be played by a foreign actor, Russian, or Middle Eeastern.
realized through subtle, Oscar-winning performances. Then you have Michael Bay. Producer du jour of such cinematic feats as The Island, Bad Boys II, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, and of course, my personal point of loathing, Transformers. With Bay at the helm, even if he's not in the director's chair, naive waif-wallflower Rosemary, played so well by Mia Farrow, will be played by the latest red-lipped bimbo (or worse, Ashlee Simpson). Instead of a 60's housewife, Rosemary will be cop working undercover as something wholly unbelieveable, like a spaceship mechanic, and her husband, Guy, played in this version by the terribly miscast (and beefed up) Justin Long, hoping to make that painful leap from comedy to drama, will be a rogue arms dealer instead of a struggling stage actor. Instead of Tanis Root as the devil's drug, the senior citizen coven will use Rufis, and Rosemary and Minnie will have a showdown at the abortion clinic, instead of Bergdorf's, just for added effect. There will be car chases, maybe a speedboat chase, someone will get knifed in the eye, there will be a vague reason for Guy to go into a strip club, and Rosemary's gal pals will all be changed to campy gay men. The Prince of Darnkess, who makes a very brief, fractured appearance in the original, will have several scenes in this version. Ro's horned babydaddy will of course be played by a foreign actor, Russian, or Middle Eeastern. How'd i do?
Perhaps Ira Levin's 'novel' was really a true story, and there really was a woman impregnated with Satan's baby, and instead of naming the li'l demon Adrian, she named it Michael....
Just conjecture.
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