Merry Christmas

TEXT MESSAGES IN MY PHONE, vol. 298754 (all transcribed in exactitude)

Jesse's trying to sing come thou fount and can't remember the words. You would totally smoke him.

i'm moron so i can be not tied down with just one wife

Youre kinda both right. It just depends on where in the states your citrus comes from.

i'm still hoping the church does a knock up job of decorating for Christmas...

is that a gyno tool in johns pocket?

I'm glad she's gone. I couldn't handle her eyebrows all season.

Haha ok?

Amber has decided that you are due to have kids and apparently we're babysitting. (there is so much about that statement that is wrong)

i'm standing right across from the stampede, trying to sober up. This is kinda funny!

we high vagina'd it

The shed is open. don't fall i'm the white trash when you're there

i can't wait till we have $ someday and we can buy each other all the awesome things we deserve. (not sent by josh)

Did you try yelling whoopie?

in a past era it was a beatNick Thing to do.

I think we're going with Ingrid. The line about Rogaine totally made it for us.

Thank jeebus for books.

i just googled tiki. you are correct.

id totally forgotten how completely bad ass gandalf is.

Today she congratulated ronald for having two poles in his office.

Chapel description brings memories of my part

Trying to wrap presents after having a half a bottle of wine might be one me the most underrated fun activities EVER. By 3/4 of the bottle Scotch Tape is the most ingenious/hilarious invention.

4-letter word for ripsnorter?

is lyn both lyn and lorihs?

Lets watch Love actually then! THAT'LL SHOW HIM!

Ey yo i'm going to go Tomorrow to checkity check the church out

Jesus loves ME!

What the- i want to see dr paul.