rant

What's worse than a person who doesn't turn their cell phone ringer off as instructed, and therefore interrupts the sermon/movie/wedding/etc with their inevitably-onboxious, electronic version of "Take Me Out To The Ballgame"/"Fergalicious"/ "Chopin Waltz No. 5"? THE 2ND PERSON TO DO SO. That's what i don't get. Maybe the first person was rushing to arrive on time, forgot to silence the phone, didn't know they even had their phone in their purse...whatever. But after it goes off, shouldn't everyone else in the space be reminded of the proper etiquette and think either, a: "i'm so glad i turned my ringer off! yay me!" b: "hmmm, i don't know if my phone is silenced, i should double check to spare these other nice people further disruption." or c: "oh my, i ignored the first three admonishments to silence my phone, i guess i'd better do it now." ??? i'm losing faith in humanity. The other day Betsy and i were at the movies and not only did a lady ANSWER her cell in the middle of the film ("HI, I'M IN THE THEATER, I CAN'T TALK. (apparently she didn't truly believe that) NO, I'M IN THE THEATER. I'LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK. OKAY. OKAY. BYE."), but not 5 minute went by before another person's phone rang. i just don't get it.

Once i attended a performance of Macbeth presented by the Ashland Shakespeare Festival, held in one of the smaller theaters, situated in the round. There were several reminders for all patrons to silence their phones. Lo and behold, at the most pivotal moment, the facedown of Macbeth vs Macduff, a phone erupted in a most awful 'cheerful' song. This was only half the crime: this poor excuse for a sentient being LET IT RING 9 TIMES. i thought the ushers were going to poo a brick, they were furiously scanning the crowd for the culprit and one in particular looked like he would haul off and pummel the phone's owner, right there in the row. Of course, all suspension of disbelief was snapped: the scene fell totally flat even though the actors, consummate professionals, didn't even miss a beat. i need to believe that there's a special ring of hell determined for that playgoer and other cell phone offenders.

And since we're on the celly subject, don't text message in the movie theater. It's like waving around a flashlight. You think you're sneaky, but you're not. The next person to do it owes me $9.50.