jesse makes us pretty

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!!!!!!!

THE PRETTY PINK PONIES WON! 

LEAGUE CHAMPION! I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON! I'M THE BIG WINNER! I BEAT 'EM ALL! FINAL SCORE 116-114! VICTORY IS MINE! THE GIRLY GIRL PROVED TRIUMPHANT! THE GLASS CEILING IS SHATTERED!

I'M A WINNER!!!!

guess what?

Jason & Winter came to visit! They made extra time in their Christmas vacationing to come up and see our house/town. We showed them the bridge, took them shopping, attended a soccer game (Disasters: 6, Scrounges: 2), sang along with 'Spiderpig', and most importantly, sat around in our cozies eating chips, making fun of Cosmo, and playing Nintendo. To the surprise of only the boys, Winter and Kallie proved to be vastly superior at Playground Dodgeball than Josh and J.  Wowie-wowow, it was a fun 3 days! We made big plans for the future, including Thanksgiving in WA, becoming inexplicably wealthy, and general merriment. 

Also, chopping big cedar logs with a 30-yr old axe is not for sissies. 

FACT:

12 (number of players in the Lucky Lady fantasy football league)
11, 1 (ratio of male players to female player)
Kallie (name of lone female player)
Brute Competition, Manly Compensation (reason males joined league)
Kicks and Giggles (reason Kallie joined league)
Pretty Pink Ponies (name of Kallie's team)
11-2 (Pretty Pink Ponies' win-loss record)
2nd (rank overall, going into playoffs)
Sledgehammers (opponent defeated in semi-finals)
Mazar-i-Sharif Goats (opponent for the League Champion title)
Ponies: 106 - Goats: 100 (projected outcome of championship match-up)
Randy Moss, "Fast Willie" Parker, Donovan McNabb (Pretty Pink MVPs)
Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth (reaction of aforementioned 11 males if Kallie wins)
Eternity (length of appropiate gloating time if Kallie wins)

Merry Christmas

TEXT MESSAGES IN MY PHONE, vol. 298754 (all transcribed in exactitude)

Jesse's trying to sing come thou fount and can't remember the words. You would totally smoke him.

i'm moron so i can be not tied down with just one wife

Youre kinda both right. It just depends on where in the states your citrus comes from.

i'm still hoping the church does a knock up job of decorating for Christmas...

is that a gyno tool in johns pocket?

I'm glad she's gone. I couldn't handle her eyebrows all season.

Haha ok?

Amber has decided that you are due to have kids and apparently we're babysitting. (there is so much about that statement that is wrong)

i'm standing right across from the stampede, trying to sober up. This is kinda funny!

we high vagina'd it

The shed is open. don't fall i'm the white trash when you're there

i can't wait till we have $ someday and we can buy each other all the awesome things we deserve. (not sent by josh)

Did you try yelling whoopie?

in a past era it was a beatNick Thing to do.

I think we're going with Ingrid. The line about Rogaine totally made it for us.

Thank jeebus for books.

i just googled tiki. you are correct.

id totally forgotten how completely bad ass gandalf is.

Today she congratulated ronald for having two poles in his office.

Chapel description brings memories of my part

Trying to wrap presents after having a half a bottle of wine might be one me the most underrated fun activities EVER. By 3/4 of the bottle Scotch Tape is the most ingenious/hilarious invention.

4-letter word for ripsnorter?

is lyn both lyn and lorihs?

Lets watch Love actually then! THAT'LL SHOW HIM!

Ey yo i'm going to go Tomorrow to checkity check the church out

Jesus loves ME!

What the- i want to see dr paul.

their ranks increase daily...

soon the babies will take over

College buddies Jeff and Erin Kane welcomed Jonah into the world on November 24th (yay! a birthday buddy for Bonnie!). Jonah was 4lbs and 5 weeks early, so we already know he takes after Erin more than Jeff. Everyone is home, healthy and happy now, and we can't wait to meet him!

monster love

(make sure you have the volume on, especially if you're a Weepies fan)

Finding FOUND

FOUNDmagazine.com is a site/magazine/book compilation that "collects found stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework, to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles - anything that gives a glimpse into someone else's life. Anything goes..." Sometimes the story that goes along with each finding is more fun than the item itself.

brains = rice

Do you know what a philatelist is? Winter introduced me to this site where for every question you answer correctly, ten grains of rice are donated to help end World Hunger. i earned 810 in one round! up to vocab level 33!

overheard

Frasier, to Niles, regarding the full orchestra he has hired to record his radio show theme song:
"Yes, but if less is more then imagine how much more more would be!"

not-so-hallowed eve

If you're like us, you had several adorable trick-or-treaters, some blood-spattered tweens, a few awkward teenagers, and four middle aged people with no costumes and outstretched pillowcases. One of the adorable ones poked his head through the doorway ('Tylerrrrrr! get out of her house!' called the mom/handler) and, upon seeing our spooky cobwebbed and candlelit waterfall, exclaimed "IS THIS THE HAUNTED HOUSE??" Ummm, "the" haunted house? what are our neighbors telling these kids about us? i'm intruiged... and concerned.
Anyway, back to the sorry lot who show up and stick their hands or pillowcases out without nary a 'trick or treat' or even 'happy halloween'. i get that it's a bizarre, awkward tradition to beg sweets off complete strangers while dressed like an idiot, but it is what it is. The awkwardness or the gruesomeness of the holiday doesn't eradicate basic manners. Honestly, i don't very much mind the handful of teenage and adult 'treaters', as long as they're in costume and behave politely. i was telling Brandon that next year i'll post a (short) list of rules above my doorbell: "Be in costume and be polite or don't ring the bell" and he directed me to this fun little nugget:

SIGNS ABOVE MY HALLOWEEN CANDY:
1996–2006.
BY ZACH OBERMAN
- - - -

1996
Trick or treat! Please take one. Happy Halloween!

1997
Happy Halloween! One piece only, please.

1998
The candy is for everyone. We ask that you take only one piece so that others may enjoy it as well. (Also, please do not take the bowl. Last year's was a wedding gift. We would greatly appreciate its return; no questions asked.)

1999
Please DON'T take just one. DON'T have a happy Halloween.

2000
Clearly, you're not falling for reverse psychology. Let's try negative reinforcement. Enjoy the Brussels sprouts!

2001
Last year was a fun little reminder of the trick half of "trick or treat." True, I sort of expected to find my house covered in toilet paper, but just because I'm old-fashioned doesn't mean I can't take a joke. (I'm still impressed that someone could write so legibly in shaving cream and—correct me if I'm wrong—excrement.) I surrender, you rascals! Take your chocolate plunder* (ha, ha)!
* One piece per person.

2002
For the record, slashing a man's tires is not a "trick." It's a "felony." Nevertheless, I won't let a mere $600 ruin my holiday spirit. Check out the devil horns on my new Rottweiler, Cerberus—he's devilishly cute! Help yourself to some candy—just know that Cerberus seems to think it's all for him, and he tends to be protective. He's also a bit twitchy from the handful of amphetamines I gave him. Bon appétit!

2003
Here is the candy, per your demands. Please return Cerberus. It's been a year and we miss him.

2004
Very funny, making my dog a full-fledged meth addict before sending him home. I get the irony. Have as much candy as you can eat. You'd be amazed at how cheap razor blades are these days.

2005
Here we are again. You're right; I was bluffing last year with the razorblades. take the candy. I can't stop you. In fact, I hope you enjoy it, I really do. Because it will be the last sweet sensation in your sorry excuse for a life. You've soiled my doorstep, corrupted my dog, ruined four perfectly good tires, and stolen a central piece of my tableware. I've spent the last three months watching 'Apocalypse Now', and as far as you're concerned I'm Colonel Kurtz. Can you hear that? In the trees? That's me. Turn around and say hi, but make it good, because they'll be your last words.

2006
Howdy! I want to say that moving to a new neighborhood can be really scary, but everybody has been so terrific, especially in looking past all the ugly rumors that seem to have followed me here. (You know how these "lawyers" can get ...) Anyway, here's a little treat to say thanks! Happy Halloween! (Please take only one.)

Halloween:

when children can wear their heroes’ shoes
and their fantasy’s crown,
be bigger than a nightmare
and turn a monster into nothing but a mask.

The curtain call for every PlayDay
and dress-up rehearsal,
all the world a fabulously dressed guest,
a sparkling and ghoulish theatergoer.
Each takes her turn, then his,
emerging from offstage as
Mistress Goddess Queen of Glamour Herself
and King Dragon Slayer Captain Triumph.

At the last call, to the applause of a thousand
bronze-armed trees and the grinning glee of
each glowing gourd face,
they rise
red and blue capes,
broomsticks and
rocketshoes,
fairy wings and wands swirling breathlessly
into the red carpet sky, snapped clean by
the admiring wind.

They shine,
and light up the night of the last great show of the season.

Text messages in my phone, vol. 3...or 4. Can't remember.

(Yes, it's that time again. All these lovely snippets-out-of-context (or ARE THEY?) accurately transcribed, spellings and all. Extra points if you can guess who the gibberish ones are from.)

Have you been drinking?!

So yesterday was Gay Days at Disneyland. Best thing we saw was a pair of shirts on a couple of women that said 'i'm the butch' and 'i'm the bitch'.

Like fudgebibles....

He must have big panties! hee hee

i still wish i was running through a haunted corn maze instead.

Redding is a magical place! So, so weird.

But i might have to kill myself.

Don't tell anybody, but in the scenario that is my life, Michael Scott is played by my father.

Do you have chocolate syrup? (this from the diabetic)

Ames jos need of to baby sit?

They're practically umbreakable! (referring to infants, of course)

i want some quality time with my biznatch....that's you.

i'm having peanut butter and banana sandwich for lunch.

Oooooooo, i'd get to wear fake eyelashes!

A woman behind me in line at Borders today had her water break.

It just took me 42 minutes to eat a grilled cheese sandwich.

I just saw a Beth, Bath and Beyond sign with the b of bath burned out. Bed, ath and Beyond! Ath is a funny word. i laughed my ath off. That guy is an ath. HAHA!

Did you get any new clothes today? i live vicariously through other shoppers.

This is going to be a funny looking celebratory pizza.

i have arrived.

We went lead peeping in the nuns.

What does schmoopie want for dinner?

Confession: i am three hours deep into an America's Most Smartest Model marathon. And i love it.

Ornry is a funny word.

Di............ne

i thought i'd let you know that tonight i pooped in a toilet that once seated the asses of people like Jimi Hendricks, the Grateful Dead, Tom Petty, and so many more.

How much was it? if i wasn't on drugs right now i'd go get it. It sounds AWESOME.

i look like Marlon Brando in Godfather Part I, which i don't necessarily count as a bad thing.... (this was from a woman)

i keep telling jason i'll "make him an offer he can't refuse" so he'll bring me more applesauce.

What are some popular rap songs right now? (because when you think RAP, you think KALLIE MARKLE)

What color underwear should i have on?

So...no underwear?

Oh no, he has supplies of pink stuff everywhere!

good news

Whitney, Tannan & family got the okay to return to their houses, which were not harmed by the fires!




(these pictures are what you find when you Google Image search 'yay')

fire: bad

Keep Whitney's family in your thoughts and prayers; they've been evacuated from their homes in Poway and Escondido due to the So. Cal fires. i could go on at length about what their family and their house especially means to us, but i'd rather not get weepy, so just please keep them in your hearts.

**update: here is a map of the fires.

so, we went to new york.

Oh goodness, where to begin. First we must introduce the cast. Our college friends Matt, Brenda, and Lizzie Alexander live in New York because Matt is a student at Columbia Univ. medical school. (Lizzie is a baby, so she didn't go to college with us in her present form.) David Overholt, also a Pt. Loma buddy, is in a Master's program at NYU called ITP...which means Interative Telecommunications Program. It's for arty people who are also techy. Also, Redding originals Cassie and Chris Jones are now in New Haven, Connecticut because Cassie is studying at Yale to become a Nurse Practitioner and Chris is a pro cyclist. THUS! we went to visit all our friends and see places we'd never seen. That said, you can view all the pictures here, but i suggest waiting til after you've read everything.

Thursday: flight was to depart 6:20, one lane of the southbound 5 was closed so we got to the airport with nary a minute to spare. Rushing, rushing, plane needed fuel transfer, delayed. :| Transfer in Phoenix narrowly made, we were the last ones on the plane. En route to NY, i got sick and threw up, which i didn't enjoy.

Friday: We got into NY around 6am and found our way to Brooklyn and David's loft, where we were lulled to sleep by the JMZ train that runs approximately 2 feet from David's window. Dave went to school and we eventually woke up and followed his directions to the MoMA (Museum of Modern Art), which is free the first Friday of every month, thanks to Target. (thanks Target!) We met Matt and Bren and Lizzie and that was a joyous reunion. Walking around MoMA with them was tricky because we'd be chatting away, catching up and then 'oh yeah, we're standing in front of a Picasso, guess we should pay attention to it. Anyway!' Got some goodies at the museum store and headed back out into the city. We forget how we transitioned, but we ended up at Tisch School of the Arts at NYU, specifically the ITP building where David gave us a tour of his classrooms, haunts etc. We got to see a bunch of crazycool projects designed by the students and professors at ITP, stuff that would blow your mind if you saw it but would just sound goony if i tried to describe it here. It was good to finally grasp what it is David's up to these days, because it didn't make any sense to me before. After the tour, got a bite to eat with Dave's classmates, Alex, Sophia and Sandra and ended up on Alex's neighbor's rooftop watching the city twinkle and drinking wine. Here's a little tidbit the Redding folk might find interesting: in some parts of the world, businesses stay open past 9 and even 10pm! i KNOW, crazy.

Saturday: slept late (well, we only slept the recommended 8 hours, but 8 hours past 3am could be construed as 'late'), had gyros in Washington Square Park and got on the Staten Island Ferry to fill our quota of Necessary Tourist Activities. Observations from le ferry: the Statue of Liberty? It aint so big. Manhatten is quite tall and shiny, and that one building looks like a thumb. Cool views of the cityscape, worth the free ride. Picked our way back thru some of Central Park, saw the World Trade Center temporary monument, and landed in the Financial District, where Dave passed us off to Matt, Brenda and Lizzie (henceforth MBL) for more walking around and chatting-while-ignoring-surroundings. MBL took us to see ground zero which is pretty fully roped off and hard to see. Bought some nuts and a scarf on the street, fueled up at Chipotle, and saw Rockefeller plaza, the world's largest Macy's a giant iron bull and other fun stuff that i can't recall. Crashed at MBL's uptown apartment that night, which made Wahoo's week.

Sunday: spent about 4 hours getting from MBL's to Brooklyn to retrieve our stuff from David's and get back to uptown. Cleaned up and MBL took us to Central Park. i can now say that i get It, New Yorkers. You're right, Central Park is GREAT. (Your statue is still small, however.) We went to the turtle pond, saw Belvedere Castle, and generally walked around. Wandered out of the park and saw where Lennon was shot, saw where Brenda's fantasyboyfriend Bono lives, and got some hot dogs that are supposedly famous. It was Lizzie's bed time and Matt had school the next day, so the Alexanders went home and we went to the movies, mostly to get off our feet for a while. Okay, businesses in Redding may close painfully early, but at least movies here don't cost ELEVEN DOLLARS. That'sallihavetosayaboutthat. Afterward we wandered, bought books and treats, and ate in a lovely park that we have no idea the name of.

Monday: Matt had school (he's a hater when it comes to opthamology, we learned) and David had to work, so Brenda and Lizzie took us to our hotel to drop off our stuff and then to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. B & L went home to greet the grocery delivery (a part of city life we of course found fascinating) and we met Matt and David for dinner at Serendipity. This place is famous (as in, Guiness World Record) famous for its desserts, so we ordered minimal grownup food so we could skip to the monster bowls of chocolate the size of our heads. They have a sundae that costs $1000 and contains edible gold. Just think it over. Afterward we went to Strand Bookstore (18 miles of books. EIGHTEEN MILES!) and then to a pub to watch the New Yorkers watch the Yankees lose, which was quite satisfying.

Tuesday: We saw Grand Central Station on our way to Connecticut; it was cool. Didn't see the spot where Kevin Costner chased the baby stroller down the stairs in the middle of a gunfight though. The ride to New Haven only took 2 hours, and it was nice to just sit and veg instead of pound the pavement all day. PLUS, it was cloudy and chilly once we arrived!!! Soooo much nicer than the heat and stickyness of NYC. We grabbed lunch and met up with Cass and Chris (hereafter C/C) at a Mediterrannean resteraunt where we got to watch Indian soap operas. (There were no subtitles, but passion and betrayal transcend lingual boundaries. Either Sir Mustache had an evil twin, or he was stepping out on his wife with that piano playing hussy) We got to see their condo, then they took us APPLE PICKING at Lyman Orchards, where they had alllllll kinds of apples under the sun and you just select the ones you want and pay $1/lb. They also have a corn maze and pumpkin patch, where C/C selected their favorite harvest gourd. We also hit up a the market and had cider donuts (bliss). Afterward we stopped by the top of a hill and saw all of New Haven and most of Connecticut in general. The trees are just starting to change so you can imagine the view, and the day in general, being pretty darn pretty. Next we got The Famous Chris Jones Tour of Yale, which i recommend as more fun than any stuffy programmed tour by a hired Yalie. Much like the ITP projects, i could NOT get my brain around Yale. It was THAT COOL. Favorite part: the rare manuscript library, where we saw the Gutenberg bible and as we were looking at it, angels began to sing. No really! music students were making use of the building's acoustics and there was a cello and two opera singers. It was just this side of surreal. Also, the Yale dining hall? totally the Hogwarts Great Hall from Harry Potter. i want to die and be reincarnated as a squirrel who lives on the Yale campus. After the tour C/C took us shopping and then to dinner at a pizza restaraunt and bar called Bar. It was gooooooood. Caught the train back to the city and hit the hotel hay.

Wednesday: Woke up, packed up, and lugged our luggage onto a couple subways before having a goodbye lunch with MBL at a Jewish deli. Rode the bus to the airport, and basically re-lived Thursday again as we rushed to a plane that was delayed, then sat on the tarmac for over an hour after we boarded. :| As we approached our stop off in Chicago, the flight attendant got in touch with the people on the ground and told all "Sacramento- and Dallas-bound passengers" that we'd essentially have to sprint from the end of concourse B to the opposite end of concourse A in order to make our connecting flight. We didn't sprint, but we did get shin splints, altho the moving walkways making a good effort to help. Let's see who can guess what happened next: if you said "the Sacramento-bound plane hadn't even arrived in Chicago yet" you'd be right. So we walk-sprinted for NOTHING. That plane was quite late too, obviously, and we had the fortune of sitting in front of Miss Sac State Keg Stand 1999 and two men that were hoping she'd sleep with them in her next life. The more they drank, the louder they got. It was a loooooong four hours.

So that was it! (longest. blog. ever.) We can't thank David, MBL, and C/C enough for being GREAT hosts/guides/friends. The point of the trip was to spend time with you all, and we were able to do that and more. With the exception of airport shenanigans, we wouldn't change a thing. Can't wait til you all live on the West Coast again and we can hang out without changing time zones.

Back on the Left Coast

We made it back from New York/Haven safe and sound. Details to follow...

Welcome back, The Western

Movie Review: 3:10 To Yuma
starring Christian Bale, Russel Crowe, Ben Foster

It's being touted as 'the best Western since Unforgiven.' Since that Eastwood gem was a lifetime ago (1992), it's about darn time we had a good Western. If there's been a decent Western since, it slipped under my radar, so please enlighten me. (i don't really think Brokeback counts) This Fall will see the release of two more Westerns, The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford, and No Country For Old Men. Hollywood is a bit cyclical, so after this batch we'll probably see another 15 year period where The Western slumbers whilst superheros or aliens or the like dominate box offices.

But for now, with Yuma at the helm, The Western is back in all it's bad-ass glory. Sloughing off the glitz of Hollywood and managing to simply be a good movie for good movie's sake without parading around screaming 'LOOK! IT'S A BIG COMEBACK! NOTICE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!' That is a dangerous parade to marshal, my friends, just ask Britney. Ewwwww....i mentioned HER in a discussion about a really cool Western movie! i'm ashamed.

How about i just talk about the darn movie? It's REALLY good. You've got Russell Crowe as the black hat baddie, Ben Wade, who as the movie opens is completing his 22 robbery of a particular railroad company. Crowe has that great deep voice and tough guy solidity without wearing either like it's his best feature/identity/etc (see: The Rock) but rather as tools to complete a task. Ben Wade is the-bad-guy-with-a-soft-or-philosophical-side, which often gets campy and two-dimensional in lesser hero vs villain movies, but Crowe doesn't get distracted by this part of the character, merely enjoys it in its moments and moves on. I'm not usually a big Crowe fan, but i think this movie made me turn a corner in our relationship.

On the other side of the law is 'white hat' Dan Evans, played by Christain Bale, who apparently likes choosing incredibly punishing roles. "Let's see, dashing leading man covered in money and beautiful women? no thanks, i'd rather play the leperous bulemic parapalegic addicted to S&M!" This time he's a civil war amputee turned rancher and family man. Financial woes cause Dan to join a posse taking the captured criminal (Wade) to the 3:10 train to Yuma prison. It's more than the $200 that drives Dan to take the dangerous job though, as he tells his wife he's sick of the way his son looks at him and sick of the way she doesn't. Also, not to be base, but he's a good guy who doesn't like bad guys. This is a Western, after all. Sometimes it really is that simple.

Wade finds himself fascinated by Dan on their journey and Dan's son is boyishly intruiged by Wade, testing the limits of his father's pride. There is a series of 'twists', but i hestitate to call them that, because that connotes definite shifts in loyalties or surprises, and this movie is more subtle and complex than that. At times it gets a bit too 'talk-y' for its genre, but with quality actors like Crowe and Bale you can't really complain when it's a battle of wits and steely stares.

Rounding it all out is Ben Foster as Wade's #1 guy, Charlie. Charlie is a bit maniacal in his loyalty to Wade and at times it's almost like a man-crush (so this IS Brokeback!) but Foster makes you want to watch him, which is saying alot when your costars are Christian Bale and Russell Crowe.

Very fine performances making a solid movie and a commendable return to the genre Robert Duvall recently declared 'uniquely American.' ....except it starred an Aussie and a Brit, but whatever. America's the melting pot, right?

Go see it.

Labor? hardly.

For Labor Day wknd we decided to get out of the heat and cross a few things off my 'Before 30' to-do list, so we went to Patrick's Point Sate Park. As the Labor Day holiday is the most popular camping weekend of the year and also P. Point's last open weekend of the season, the campground was booked solid. Advance planning had allowed for us to get a spot on Friday night, but the rest of the weekend was undetermined. We went anyway, figuring a site might open up or we could get a hotel room or camp illegally somewhere. We left after work, squished Peter into the back seat, and wiggled our way through the mountains and bizarro mountain towns, all the while watching the temperature click down little by little.


When we arrived the good Rostens had erected our tent 'neath the trees and we got settled into vacationing. The brown-clad folk at the park entrance told us that, no, no spots had opened up for Saturday night yet, but to check back in the morning. Got the fire going and discussed weighty and light matters, then attempted sleep. (the ground had the audacity to be hard) Saturday morning Josh made pancakes like a champ and we checked with the rangers again: no spots. Went for a walk through the moss and trees and general Ewok-y land. Saw Wedding Rock, decided to have future weddings there. Came back for lunch and to break camp because we had to be out by noon, decided to check again for any spots, promising the Rangers cookies if they hooked us up. Turns out a lady who should never have been camping in the first place decided that her beachside campsite in Northern California at the onset of the rainy season was too damp. (again, mother nature and her audacity) Believe it or not, this 'camper' had a poodle with her. Rangers moved her to shut her up and gave us her spot. Yay! Rather than take down our tents and put them back up again, we emptied them and tossed them on top of our cars, held on out the windows, and drove through the trees (and cheers from other campers) to our new home at site #112.

Joined up with s'Moores and went down to Agate Beach for lunch and general treasure hunting. i chose driftwood, Josh chose agates. (We still don't know what agates look like, but we hunted 'em.) We saw a seal playing in the surf. i think it was playing Freeze Tag. Or Kick the Can. Then, shopping and dinner at the Lost Coast Brewery in Eureka and a trip to Target for an air mattress. What? We never said we were hardcore. That firenight included the ever-daunting 'Name Your Top 5 Movies Ever' and a shifty raccoon who tried to supplement his own coony fiesta by stealing our Chex Party Mix. How do i know he was shifty? He was WEARING A MASK. We slept much better that night, what with the mattress and it NOT being damp. At all. Whatsoever. Foreverandeveramen.

Sunday we subscribed to the Emily Dickinson Liturgical System and got our Sabbath on with walks through the redwoods and fern canyon, aka Creeptastic Alley, or The Land That Time Forgot Except To Build The Occasional Stairway Or Erect Educational Podiums. Seriously folks, there's no better place on earth if you want to feel Small and Awesome. i think that whole 'He leadeth me beside still waters' was written for this part of the globe. Speaking of waters, on the way to Le Canyon we had to drive over raging rivers in our SUVs. Some would call them mere streams, or elongated puddles, but as my car has rarely done anything remotely resembling 'off-road', i prefer to revel in the validation that it drove through the trees and forged waterways.

On the way back to wherever we were going, we saw a pod/herd/school/pride/clique of whales breaching, flashing heads/tails/fins/toes and spewing. Again, feelings of Small and Awesome.
Next Josh and i packed up our share of the campsite because i had to work Monday, Jesse, Lyn and Pete handed over GingerCat cookies (for humans) to the Ranger to ensure another night of campsitedness and we headed to That One Nameless Beach for dinner and sunset. Apple saursages and bell peppers: good for your soul. Josh carved his everlasting declaration of love for me in the sand. Let's just say that by the time he got to the "KM" the "I" was already a blurry victim of the tide. Permanency is overrated anyway. i fell and scraped my hand in the tidepools and was therefore convinced my body would be overtaken by barnacles in my sleep and i'd look like that one guy/thing in Pirates II. As of yet, i don't. Keep watch, though. When the sun set, we left. To say we did so reluctantly would be like saying...i don't know, something dumb or outrageous.

Ah yes, and i am able to cross 2 things off my list: i introduced someone (Josh) to Patrick's Point, and i successfully skipped stones. 18 more to go.

If you're thinking 'Wow, some of these pictures are downright amazing!' it's because i poached Jesse and Lyn's when necessary. Check 'em out, especially if you've never been to The Point.

There are few perfect weekends. This was one.

i've still got it

It's a good thing i curled my eyelashes this morning!

Pulled in to Dutch Bros. this morning all excited because i had a full punch card and therefore, a free drink due me. When it was my turn at the window the Coffee Boy said "Hello, sweetheart", to which i replied "i get a free one this morning!" proudly displaying my full punch card like an A+ spelling test. "That's right," he said, "you get THIS free one!" and held up another full punch card. i was confused. i communicated my confusion, probably through a blank look or something equally glamorous, and he said that the man in the car front of me had told him that i could have HIS free drink. Now, i'm not sure i believe Coffee Boy, because he seemed like a flirtatious liar, but i decided that it was a win-win situation for me. Either a stranger bought me a drink or an unscrupulous barista bought me a drink. All's well that ends well, right?

In hindsight, i realize that i should have handed my own full punch card over to Coffee Boy and told him to apply it to the person in line behind ME, thereby 'paying it forward', but i was all a-flutter and not thinking clearly.

Next time, karma, i promise.

Someone who gets it.

Once upon a time i was Googling around the interweb and stumbled across a blog belonging to a gal in New York named Sarah who likes to write. i check it from time to time because she is funny and insightful. Recently, she visited NorCal and wrote about it and i love her perspective on it. i thought other NorCalians or NorCalphiles would too. There's even a Chico shout-out :]

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...But I digress. Tahoe! The water is really blue and clear, and at night you can light a fire, and if you leave your lemon bars cooling in the window, a bear will climb up the deck and eat them. But they’re cool bears; they wear plaid hats and share their weed and sell hot tubs in Chico the rest of the year. Megan’s house is the type of house where you’re suddenly a little chilly and you wish you had a blanket, and hello, there’s a blanket right next to you. It’s a big, cozy, rambling house that makes you want to tell secrets, the good kind. Sarah and I would lie in bed at night and sing and giggle like tiny, wasted children. You drink wine and eat almonds while making dinner, listening to Andrew Bird and The Band. Everyone sings along. Everything smells good. Everything you do seems sort of momentous and glowing, like those times when you know that what you’re doing right that second will be a wonderful memory, even if you’re just watching Point Break at 1 am. It feels like June during the day and October once the sun goes down. Just being outside in that cool, dry air is invigorating. It skews your brain. You eat an apple without cutting it first and feel heroic for doing this. Suddenly not cutting up an apple makes you freaking Hemingway. You think, I could live off the land. I should write fiction. It would be good. Everything is beautiful and clean. Maybe you’re just high. Probably.

One night we took the boat across the lake for dinner. The ride back was late at night, and Megan tucked us in with blankets like it was Little House in the Big Woods. That boat ride is now one of my favorite moments of my life. I have never seen so many stars, ever. You could see the Milky Way. I counted eight shooting stars. Then we sat on the dock and had the most ridiculous heated argument about the universe that we are never allowed to mention again, except that I keep mentioning it.

One day we drove into Reno to fetch Sarah at the airport. Reno smelled like meth and grandmas. I worry about Reno. I want to give Reno a sandwich and some tissues and a note from its mom saying it’s okay, it can come home now, all is forgiven.

The day I had to leave California, I had a hard time walking inside the airport. I felt like a little kid. I wanted to whine, “Five more minutes.” The only other time I’ve felt like this was the first time I visited New York, when I nearly had a panic attack on the plane home, and the only way I could calm down was to promise myself I’d be back soon, really really soon. Less than three months later, I lived here.
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summer haircut

After 4 months of stickers, leaves, and God knows what else being dragged into the house aboard Cosmo, King of Fur With Velcro Capabilities, we finally found someone with the stones to go at him with a razor. (thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou Millville Vet Clinic)

This is how he used to look:



And now?



Nothing but glamour.



Look out, neighborkitties!

YESYESYESYESYESYESYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Kallie, let me ask you a few questions."
"Okay sure."
"Who is your favorite rapper?"
"Easy, Mos Def. And i love his films too."
"Great okay, who are some of your favorite directors?"
"Let's see, Wes Anderson, Michel Gondry, Tim Burton..."
"Alright. And what are your thoughts on Jack Black?"
"i really enjoy him!"
"Awesome. Well, since you appreciate Mos Def, Michel Gondry and Jack Black, AND you're a bit of a movie-nut, i suggest you check out the latest film from Michel Gondry, starring Mos Def and Jack Black as two video store employees who make their own versions of all the tapes they accidentally erased at work."
*hyperventilating*
"Mia Farrow and Danny Glover are also in it."
"How about that!"
"Yeah."
"Yeah."

everyone has one

Or at least they should. The List Of Things You Want To Do Before You Die/Have Kids/Start to Wrinkle/Turn Thirty/Or Generally Get Boring (some would say that a few of those options are one and the same). i was reminded last night of a list i made a while back. Sharing these sorts of things is dangerous because then you have accountability and seriously, accountability can really stink sometimes. Nevertheless, here is my list, offered with the expectation that you will share back some or all of your own list *ahem*.

TWENTY BEFORE THIRTY

-sell a painting

-volunteer somewhere non-sectarian

-go to India >

-get that tattoo (yes grandma, it's true)

-learn to skip stones

-dive / cartwheel / whistle

-preach

-beat Josh at something*

-donate blood / bone marrow

-finish writing a story

-see the Grand Canyon

-bungee jump

-read Anna Karenina

-introduce someone to Patrick's Point >

-throw a karaoke party

-become awesome at racquetball (awesomeness relative to my current skills)

-stand behind a waterfall

-have my name on a door

-grow flowers

-learn Italian

* i'm pretty sure there was a freak alignment of planets and chakras that allowed me to beat him at Wii Bowling or something in the months since i made this list, so i'm going replace that with:::

-convince someone to name their baby after me

---
There you have it. My list. Just a reminder: my birthday is coming up, so if you feel like taking someone to the Grand Canyon or India, you can kill two birds with one fun stone.

taggyblogfun

David tagged me. This is when you put something up on your blog and then pick a handful of other people to do the same thing on their blogs.
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My Eight Random Facts/Habits

1. Habit: losing the cap to my daily Vitamin Water, which is kind of absurd since they're pretty big.

<-2. Habit: watching Frasier

3. Fact: i have a freckle on the palm of my hand. It appeared one year while i was working at Nazbot Camp so it is my special camp freckle.

4. Habit: biting my lower lip when lifting something heavy (treacherous when you're moving or installing dry wall)

5. Fact: i just ate a red M&M off the floor of my office

6. Fact: At my last job i had a piece of paper hidden in my desk where i would write swear words repeatedly until i felt better.

7. Fact: i can and have listened to a song on repeat for several hours on numerous occasions.

8. Habit: Matt Damon movies ->
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Technically i'm suposed to tag 8 more bloggers to do this, but i don't even know 8 bloggers so i will just awaken Winter from her bloggy slumber and tag her.

babies galore

TWO BABIES IN ONE DAY! In the wee hours of Tuesday morning Josselyn and Deven welcomed little Ruby in Redding(sorry, no pics yet cuz i don't know how to get them from my cell phone to my computer) and later that afternoon Rachel and Jason2 introduced the world to Taylor up in Seattle. Crazy! We're used to doing alot of weddings at once, but babies will take some getting used to :) Congrats to our friends, we know you'll make amazing parents.

Harry Potter and the Order of Awesome

This was my first big screen Harry Potter movie since becoming a superfan. I’ve been going like crazy this last week trying to read all of book 5 and rent and watch the first four movies. I didn’t get all of the book read though, mostly because I had to sleep and work, but trust me, I was reading WHENEVER POSSIBLE, including at red lights and yes, in the bathroom. I was at page 567 of 870 when the movie started, which was kind of fun because I knew all of the set up and whatnot but didn’t know what was going to happen in the end.
Some other superfan-friends and I went and saw the movie yesterday, the first full day it was out in Redding. We got in line about an hour early, and just in time too, because it was stretched around the building for a 5pm show! We had awesome seats in a packed house, which is always rewarding. I was so excited when the opening credits rolled that I grabbed Ashley and kind of hurt her.
It was GREAT. Having seen all five movies in 3 days, I could compare them all and was very impressed with how much the cast’s acting has improved over the years. Alan Rickman, Dame Maggie Smith and Gary Oldman have ALWAYS been good of course, but the kids hold their own too. The advancement of special effects just in the 5 years since the wizards took to the screens has been astonishing. Oh man, I could go on and on but I don’t really know what I’m talking about in terms of how it was lit and shot and CGI-ically realized so I’ll just say it was BEYOND COOL. I think movie 3 still may be my favorite, visually speaking (directed by Children of Men’s Alfonso Cuaron) but it’s a pretty close competition.
Naturally, movies never live up to their books in terms of how the stories unfold, and it’s frustrating to watch things get truncated and flip-flopped, but what can you do? Evidently this was the shortest Potter movie so far, even though book 5 was the longest, so big ups to the writer and director for keeping it all in check.
My only beef? Not enough attention was devoted to Harry dealing with that one horrible thing that happens to that one person in the big battle! Come on! That is MAJOR! You gotta show the emotional aftermath. You can bet I’ll be finishing my last 300 pages tonight to make up for what I was cheated, film-wise.
So. Go see the movie, but read the first 5 books before you do :)
-kal

employed

i am no longer a dreg on society- i got a job in the Facilities Department at Simpson University being a paper pusher...literally. i create and track paper trails of everything from who fixed that broken sprinkler to who is renting the off-campus housing. Not what i want to do with my life by far, but it pays pretty well, i get to work with my fun friend Dee, and i can get out of the house for something other than spending all of Josh's hard-earned money. Simpson has a good record of promoting from within, so hopefully i'll be able to put in my dues and find something better suited to my abilities. And i guess it's also a good sign that within 24 hours of working there, my boss asked if he could borrow one of my Nintendo games. Last week while Josh was in Sacramento working i painted, wallpapered and decorated our bedroom to within an inch of its life, so now the total of rooms we've "Markle-ized" in our new house is.............ONE. WOOHOO! Anyway, it was fun and all and he liked the surprise, but it struck me as such a 'stay-at-home-wife' thing to do (i don't even have the 'raising kids' excuse!): "Look honey, while you were hard at work, i redid the bedroom! Don't worry, the throw pillows were %10 off!" i knew i needed to find a job. i didn't realize that Redding would offer so little, or that what it did offer would be so hard to find, but i have to have faith that i can stick it out at Simpson until i find a position i can really shine in. Until then, i'll just have to bring my own sparkle, push the limits of the 'no flipflops rule', use the power of Nintendo to my advantage.
Oh yeah, my official title is Facilities Secretary and my predecessor's name was Pam, how great is that? (if you do not watch The Office you A. will not understand why that is great and B. are living an incomplete life.

Postsecret

One of my favorite sites is Postsecret. People put their secrets on postcards and mail them to a guy named Frank in Maryland, who posts some on the Web every Sunday and has compiled a few books out of them. Some weeks there are themes to the secrets and this week's theme is fathers. The following blurbs are responses to this postcard (if the picture doesn't show you should still be able to click on it to see):

"My dad used to say that inside of the car's air-bags was uncooked popcorn. When you wrecked the popcorn would pop and you would have a snack until help came."

"When I was little, my dad told me ATMs worked by having little monkeys inside them. I believed that for years. Now I work in a bank, and wish it were true!"

"My dad told me the worst swear word you could possibly say was "Bostonian". It meant "someone who has no private parts." My brother and I used the word until we were teenagers and my father giggled every time we said it, right before he sent us to our rooms."

"When i was little my dad told me that polyester was a small animal in Australia & they would kill it to make clothes. That night i sat in my room reading the labels on my clothes for hours & threw all of the polyester ones away."

"When I was little my Dad told me that the tune played by the ice-cream van was the ice-cream man letting everyone know that he'd run out of ice-cream."

"When we'd approach exits or toll booths, my father told me the sound the car made when it went over the rumble strips was the car getting angry because I had been bad. I still sit up a little straighter when I hit a rumble strip."

And finally, my own dear father once told us he had a crooked nostril because he'd insulted my mother's stew and she had punched him in the face. i lived YEARS of my life believing my mom was that defensive of her cooking. i might have even told a few people. Sorry mom. Blame dad.

-kallie

"Is it cold in here? i feel a chill." -Satan

i owe many, many apologies to many, many fans of the Harry Potter series. It is everything you all always said it was, and this literary snob is humbled. i thought it was hype, i thought it was asinine, i thought it was waste. i thought wrong. Rowling is brilliant and i have a crush on Harry (even though i know that makes me kind of a weirdo) and i desperately want Guilderoy Lockhart's autograph and my own owl and i want to be the third Weasley twin and i want Snape to like me and i think Ron is beyond hilarious and so on and so forth. i cannot read these books fast enough; i'm thankful it has taken me this long to get acquainted because now i can read them all back to back to back without having to wait for the next one to come along. i can't wait to do my own Harry Potter film festival and you're all invited. Owls too.

-kal

catching up

Sooo, Memorial Day Weekend: i drove through the trees to Portland to visit Katie and Bobby, who took me to the rose-less rose gardens and all over that great Northwest city. Saturday Katie and i did even more driving, going to Seattle to attend Rachel's bebe shower (they made us give parenting advice....we made stuff up). Afterward we got see Rachel's house and Taylor's nursery before we did more driving back to P-land. At this point i was averaging 6 hours/day in the car. Sunday meant brunch with the Flath Clan because it was Katie's sister's birthday: a very enlightening experience, as anyone who's lived with Katie can surmise. i might have to have brunch there every time i visit Oregon. Out of 8 people i was one of 3 who weren't medical professionals or future medical professionals!! Families are funny. Anyway, then KaBob and i saw the movie 'Hot Fuzz' and pretty much died laughing/being scared. More on that later. We did a Borders trip so i could audiobookize my drive back home, then scooted our buns into night church and dinner. Later? easy-bake cookies and fancy wine, a fun combo. Monday morn i drove back home, only to be twenty miles from Redding when the Evil Cal Trans Holiday Weekend Crew closed a lane of the Shasta Lake bridge; it took me two hours to go 13 miles. Thank Baby Jesus i filled up in Yreka. Josh, left to his own devices for three nights, had decided to cook, so i was greeted with a bellyfull. Unfortunately, no magical elves had come and landscaped my yard, painted my house, or shaved my kitty in my absence. Thanks to Katie and Bobby for being super hosts/tour guides! i had mucho fun, can't wait to make another visit!

a Ghandi quote from Brandon

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

'HOLY CRAP IT'S WALT!'

What's more fun than watching the fantastic season finale of Lost late at night? Recording it and then listening to your husband watch it the next day.

illumination

As Winter (not incorrectly) pointed out, Unemployed Kallie watches many, many movies these days (party due to the miracle of DVR and to the HBO channels we get for another month). Today i found 'Everything Is Iluminated', starring Elijah Wood and directed by Liev Schrieber. What begins as a quirky, odd-couple type film about an eccentric and withdrawan Jewish man (Wood) teamed with Alex, a hip-hop loving, Adidas-and-Kangol-clad Ukrainian tour guide in search of the woman who helped his grandfather escape the Nazis, slowly becomes a very moving story of past and secrets and family. Rounding out the cast is Alex's Grandfather, who pretends to be blind so he can have his "Officious Seeing Eye Bitch", Sammy Davis Jr Jr, by his side at all times, even though Sammy is a deranged dog adopted from the Center for Forgetful Animals. Alex is the translator and his broken English is funny and Jonathan (Wood) is an odd guy who doesn't speak any Russian or eat any meat, and is afraid of dogs. (Sorry SD,JJ) As they search for the apparently invisible village of Trechnibrod, Grandfather begins to take particular interest in their journey and his character becomes more than just 'grumpy old man'. The movie ends beautifully without losing sight of its original oddball flavor.

Everything is illuminated in the light of the past.

end of an era

Thusly the last of us has commenced education at that fabled, $350 million dollar campus nestled in busom of a seagull on a branch somewhere near Mexico. All Bakers are graduated and accounted for and our intellectual reign of terror has come to a close. Public $afety can retire their tickets and pepper spray, for their enforcement of all things arbitrary on all persons Us is officially over. Bongo walked, and we did our darndest to be the loudest patch in the quilt, then we bid adieu to the magical Point for many, many years. Who knows if any of our DNA will ever return? No bricks mark our having been there, no trophies or records adorn any walls with our name...Should none return, we'll simply be apsorbed like so many others into the general flavor of the air. That's why it tastes so good.

answer questions using only song titles

PICK A BAND: Ben Harper

1.) Are you a male or female?: She Believes

2.) Describe yourself: Diamonds On The Inside

3.) How do you feel about yourself?: Blessed To Be A Witness

4.) Describe where you currently live: With My Own Two Hands

5.) If you could go anywhere, where would you go?: One Road To Freedom

6.) Your best friend is: Gold To Me

7.) Your favorite color is: Brown Eyes Blue

8.) You know that there are: Roses From My Friends

9.) What's the weather like?: So High So Low

10.) If your life was a television show, what would it be called?: She's Only Happy In The Sun

11.) What is life to you?: Glory and Consequence

12.) What is the best advice you have to give?: Don't Take That Attitude To Your Grave

13.) Your current love interest is: By My Side

14.) What's your favorite hobby?: Burn One Down :) just kidding

15.) When you think of your friends you think: I Shall Not Walk Alone

16.) What do your friends think of you?: When It's Good

17.) What will you name your first child?: Suzie Blue

18.) You always travel with?: Picture of Jesus

don't see Spidey 3

We already wasted 2+ hours and $20 on this sad excuse for a summer blockbuster, i won't waste more time telling you just how awful it was. Just don't see it. And do your friends a favor and warn them too.

Les Picturresse (that's French)

The house.

The waterfall. It's huge.

The living room. (We removed ugly wood paneling and put up sheetrock. Not quite textured and painted yet.)

Fireplace. Also huge.

Bizarro kitchen.

The mystery room. First owner had an open air patio/bird sanctuary, second owner walled it up, put in a skylight, then ran out of money. Now it's The Room That Connects The Garage To The House And Is Scary At Night When Josh Isn't Here. Suggestions for future incarnations are welcome.

And what the heck are we supposed to do with this?? (yes, that's INSIDE the house.)

homebodies

We've been in our house for a week now and stuff is starting to sift out of boxes and into the right places. We're also figuring out things like 'the switch to turn on the light for the front walk is down near the floor on an electrical outlet in the guest bedroom, of course.' We've met a few neighbors and learned that part of our house used to be an open-air bird sanctuary in the 50s, which does alot to explain the ghost birds that keep showing up and slamming doors, pushing rocking chairs and generally causing mayhem. (okay, some portions of that sentence may not be true, i'll let you decide.) The previous owners left alot behind; some good things (ladders, paint supplies, furniture) and some not so good (TRASH FOR DAYS, tvs that don't work, 'gardening' supplies we upstanding citizens won't need) so in addition to unpacking we have to wade through all that. Cosmo, though tenative at fist and still scared of the waterfall even when it's not running, seems to like his new place. He can do his sprints and chase bugs without any rottweilers trying to put him in their mouths, but a part of him misses 4-legged company. An electrician is coming tomorrow to sort out the labyrinthine light/breaker box situation, then we can take care of the awful wood paneling and get a decent color of paint on the walls. Josh is telecommuting to his job at the winery and will eventually have to go down and work Tues/Weds/Thurs every other week, but for now is going down for those days every week in April. Not too fun but he stays with his parents and sees the fam more than he did when we lived in Elk Grove, so it works out. i am still waiting for the perfect job to drop from the sky, but am also looking for something to keep me busy until then. Despite all the trials and frustrations, we're immensely glad to be in Redding. We'd definitely lose our minds if we were doing trying to make a perfectly finished, astoundlingly boring plastic Elk Grove domino our home and only having a few corporate chain stores to do it with. Tonight while we were walking around the block we even saw stars! STARS! Can you imagine?? It's just wacky what these small towns have. Anyway, that's the update. The chaos of the move prevented us from getting any pictures of the house while it was empty, but as soon as we have it cleaned up a little (give us 6 months) we'll try to take and post some. COME VISIT! We even have a bed for you!

A 3 year old's perspective on monsters

Cute little girl, but i wouldn't mess with her.

Keeping up with the Davidseses

David explains his ordeal and the future of his brain: http://www.streamdavid.com/2007/03/26/a-traumatic-week/

i'm so glad you asked! To answer your question...

->'When are you actually moving?'
Thursday, March 29th. We'll load up the U-Haul with all the cds and Star Wars gear we've pilfered from our unsuspecting roommates, poke an air hole in whatever box the cat landed in, and drive off into the sun...north. There will be a brief return to Elk Grove on Saturday the 31st to get Josh's car and attend a gathering, but the Day Of Moving is Thursday, a week from today. (yikes)

->'Do you need help moving? Please say no.'
Technically we probably need help, but we're not organized enough to manage a team and we'd probably get more stressed out dealing with stuff AND people. Our ever-loving parents are helping and i think we're set. You're welcome.

->'You know it gets hot there, right? Like, REALLY hot??'
*sigh, roll eyes, walk away from you*

->'Is it true the house has a meth lab?'
No. That is a complete myth with no substantiation other than the marijuana grow room in the garage.

->'What's happening to your Elk Grove house?'
Our precious, stinky roommates are also moving out; Brandon is getting his own place in Sac and John is going to Costa Rica to drink coffee and write his manifesto.

->'Is Kahlua going to Costa Rica too??'
The Most Beautiful Dog On Earth is going to live with John's mom in Lake Almanor until John gets back and will come visit us in Redding whenever Bev goes on holiday.

->'Who gets the Nintendo Wii?'
Brandon is Wii-sitting while John galavants in the tropics. We'll buy our own; the people of Redding need it. (i hear Wiis make EXCELLENT housewarming gifts...)

->'When are you going to post pictures of your house?'
We have photos, but the previous residents had not moved out, and their...um, i guess you could call it 'aesthetic' (or standard of cleanliness) was not good, so we'll take pics of the empty house and post them as soon as possible.

->'When is the inevitably awesome housewarming party?'
Tenatively scheduled for the last weekend in April.

->'How did you get so pretty?'
God and Darwin made a bet. God won.

Update

David is doing much better. He's sitting up, talking, laughing, eating solid foods, and playing peek-a-boo. (Wait, are we still talking about a grown man?? Oh, scratch the peek-a-boo.) Apparently seizures sort of run in the family and he only had the one and none since. Still awaiting results from various tests, but everything's looking good.

Pray for David!

David is at Scripps Mercy Hospital in San Diego after his hosts, Eric and Tiana found him unconscious Monday morning. He'd had some seizures and had to be intubated (quick! reference all that jargon you learn from tv medical dramas!) and heavily sedated and strapped to his bed, but an EEG revealed that he wasn't having any more seizures. He's since been extubated and taken off sedation and will soon be moved out of ICU. He'll have an MRI and tests tomorrow to try and determine what the cause of all this was, but he's fine for now and is surrounded by family and friends. Being the vagabond artist he is, David doesn't have any health insurance and is of course listed in the hospital files as 'HOMELESS'.

oh by the way...

We bought a house.

What i Did On My Presidents' Day Vacation

Friday: Josh took the day off (a phenomenon that occurs once every 9.34 years, depending on the strength of the Yen) so we slept in and then met David at the Pleasanton b.a.r.t. station and went into The City. SanFran= BREADBOWLS + SHOPPING. i willy wike it. It was pretty quiet and everything closed early so we left. The guy at Baskin Robbins was cool though. Went home and played Wii whilst Kahlua showed off for David.

Saturday: More Wii, then a late lunch at Lodi Brewery with MaryBeth. Went wine tasting at Jewel and kind of offended some boozy middle aged ladies who were trying to get their flirt on with Sam The Tasting Room Guy. Then, of course, back home for more Wii. Josh made wings and they were good.

Sunday: Decided to piggyback on the youth group's trip to Sierra At Tahoe so we packed up our snow gear and sleeping bags. While they all left for a long slow caravan full of road sick 13 year olds, we went into Sacramento and showed David around the Capitol and ate our brains out at Michaelangelo's. We also played 'Guess What Your College Friends Will Name Their Future Children' which was pretty fun. (sorry, the results are sealed for our safety) Got to South Tahoe Community Church around 10 and slept poorly on floors and chairs after all the little hoodlums finally fell silent.

Monday: Got up at 6. 6!!!!!! on a day off!!! Good grief. A flat tire en route to the slopes delayed Josh and MaryBeth until around 1, so they didn't get very many runs in, but it was beautiful day. i played lodge-mom out on the deck, which sounds very hepful and sacrificial but it really just means that while everyone else is out on skiis/boards/tubes i go through their lunches and swap their Doritos for my Lays and eat their pudding. It also means i'm privy to conversations like the following one from some of the junior high students, who spoke in all seriousness:
"If Jesus were here, would he ski or snowboard?"
--"He'd probably ski because old people ski." (ouch)
"What about God the Father and the Holy Spirit?"
--"The Holy Spirit would totally tube!"
---"Yeah!"
----"He's a tuber."
"And God would snowboard."
--"Yeah, i could see God boarding."

Don't try to find the logic. Just appreciate that they weren't talking about their cell phones for once. On the way home we stopped for fries and David and Josh ignored me when i said those Animal Style fries would not be kind to them. i was right. We vegged and recovered and had a yummy steak dinner while we caught up with the Heroes and Kahlua demonstrated her utter inability to perform her 3 tricks out of their usual order.

So that was le weekend. We've now made our contributions to David's road trip, so we're set.

my turn

My old cronies from the PLNU philosophy/theology shoebox have tagged me in their game of 'Name The 3 Most Important Theology Books Of The Last 25 Years'. Silly boys! i have the bad habit of only reading theology when assigned by a grown-up to do so. My first love is literature, so Scott suggested i list the 'The 3 Most Important Theology NOVELS of The Last 25 Years'. A curious challenge indeed, Mr. S., and since i'm pretty sure all you eggheads are totally void of proper fiction, i'll accept in the hopes that you actually read a story now and then in between your Hauerwas and Cavanaugh binges. (for their picks: Charlie, Matt, Kaz)

This wasn't easy. The 25-year limit killed me, mostly because it eliminated the best of John Steinbeck. Other gems for consideration (One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Carrie, To Kill A Mockingbird, One Hundred Years of Solitude, Catcher in the Rye, The Illustrated Man, Slaughterhouse-Five) were also lost to the past. i honestly don't think that the 25-year rule should apply to novels, but rather than blorgue (yes! i made up an AWESOME word! it means to argue over blogs :P) i'll work despite it. Also, i didn't know whether i should judge the books on the theological impact they had on ME, or their general theological content. Furthermore, novels with great social commentary didn't always carry eqvuilelant theological theses. Tricky. Nevertheless, here you have it. The final three ended up being very, very different from each other in settings, characters, and purposes. i'm sure there are better options, but i'm exhausted. i would fully appreciate disagreement, suggestion, etc.

A Prayer for Owen Meany- John Irving, 1989 (you know i can't make a list without it)- Time magazine reviewed it with the following: "Framed by the myth of victim as redeemer, the book removes guesswork without reducing expectations. One knows going in that the mischievous author is staging a kind of 'Gospel According to Charlie Brown.' But anyone familiar with Irving's mastery of narrative technique, his dark humor and moral resolve also knows his fiction is cute like a fox... Through the miracle of literary hindsight, the mess of two decades is foreseen by a sawed-off Christly caricature, Owen Meany, a granite quarrier's son who speaks in capital letters and believes the sacrificial arc of his life has been plotted by God." Excerpt: I am doomed to remember a boy with a wrecked voice--not because of his voice, or because he was the smallest person I ever knew, or even because he was the instrument of my mother's death, but because he is the reason I believe in God; I am a Christian because of Owen Meany. I make no claims to have a life in Christ, or with Christ--and certainly not for Christ, which I've heard some zealots claim. I'm not very sophisticated in my knowledge of the Old Testament, and I've not read the New Testament since my Sunday School days, except for those passages I hear read aloud to me when I go to church. I'm somewhat more familiar with the passages from the Bible that appear in the Book of Common Prayer; I read my prayer book often, and my bible only on holy days--the prayer book is so much more orderly. Read it, theo-junkies, you'll laugh, cry, and wet yourself. i promise.

Beloved- Toni Morrison, 1987 - The ghost (known only as Beloved) of the baby whose mother cut its throat to save it from slavery returns as a woman to haunt her mother and family. One womanist theologian wrote: "This text grapples with problems of human fallibility. It is concerned with the tragic, active forgetting of community, history, and the power and cultural origin of myths. Beloved examines the ambiguous powers of memory and community, which can be both creative and destructive. Memory is vital for revisioning communal and social transformation that is healing. ... Morrison's work is not Christocentric, but presents a combination of Christian and pre-Christian worldviews. Beloved suggests that Jesus Christ is within the community of ancestors. ... Jesus perfectly embodies the power to save lives and hold together that which would otherwise fall apart. Christian womanists are called to proclaim a theology whose pragmatic consequences are the preservation of life, the healing of wounds, and the sustenance of community. Beloved reminds us of our own creative and destructive potentials." Excerpt: Everybody knew what she was called, but nobody anywhere knew her name. Disremembered and unaccounted for, she cannot be lost because no one is looking for her, and even if she were, how can they call her if they don't know her name? ... By and by all trace is gone, and what is forgotten is not only the footprints but the water too and what it is down there. The rest is weather. Not the breath of the disremembered and unaccounted for, but wind in the eaves.... Certainly no clamor for a kiss. Beloved. Read it. There's a reason Toni Morrison's a Nobel Prize winner.

Mystic River- Dennis Lehane, 2001- Said the New York Times in its review of Clint Eastwood's film version (which, in my opinion, was as true as humanly possible to Lehane's book) : "Dave's abduction is an act of inexplicable, almost metaphysical evil, and this story of guilt, grief and vengeance grows out of it like a mass of dark weeds. At its starkest, the story is a parable of incurable trauma, in which violence begets more violence and the primal violation of innocence can never be set right. ''Mystic River'' is the rare American story that aspires to -- and achieves -- the full weight and darkness of tragedy....When Sean realizes he must tell his old friend Jimmy that his beloved daughter is dead, he wonders what he should say: ''God said you owed another marker, and he came to collect.'' This grim theology is as close as anyone comes to faith, but Mr. Eastwood's understanding of the universe, and of human nature, is if anything even more pessimistic. The evil of murderers and child molesters represents a fundamental imbalance in the order of things that neither the forces of law and order nor the impulse toward vengeance can rectify. The problem -- the tragedy -- is that grief, loyalty and even love spring from the same source. When Jimmy learns that he has lost the child who saved his life by forcing him into responsibility, he rages like a rabid beast, and you know his fury will only lead to more hurt. ''We bury our sins, and wash them clean,'' he declares later as he prepares to enact his vengeance, but this is wishful thinking, mere sentiment, and you suspect that Jimmy knows it." Excerpt: When Sean Devine and Jimmy Marcus were kids, their fathers worked together at the Coleman Candy plant and carried the stench of warm chocolate back home with them. It became a permanent character of their clothes, the beds they slept in, the vinyl backs of their car seats. Sean's kitchen smelled like a Fudgsicle, his bathroom like a Coleman Chew-Chew bar. By the time they were elven Sean and jimmy had developed a hatred of sweets so total that they took their coffee black for the rest of their lives and never ate dessert. The only non-required reading i've ever read with a pen in my hand.

text messages out of context (or are they?), vol. 3

Ameno7

i love wine

Sweet! Loose morals!

Tallyho!

i have been sad ever since the Fergie dream.

Yeah, but i'm prudish enough to kinda like being prudish.

i'm watching 'The Last Kiss' with my grandparents and it's really uncomfortable.

Colbert on O'Reilly. Bound to be classic.

Jeff Purganan's ugly twin brother is playing Jason in basketball right now.

Ah you have to use the stinky piss one now!

Is it wrong that i really hate it when people say "it's a god thing"?

Ya, i just teared up a little watching a 'Beauty and the Geek' preview, so what?

Jason fell off a cliff and i had to go to Starbucks. Worst day ever.

Did i ever tell you about the time [pet's name] attacked [spouse's name] while we were [censored]?

one of those silly internet games...

...where you plug in different facts and it gives you the following:

Your movie star name is Raisen Floy
Your fly girl name is K Mar
Your detective name is Puppy Foothill
Your barfly name is PB Mojito
Your socialite name is Pally Sanfran
Your rock star name is Rolo Hummingbird
Your Star Wars name is Kalcos Marjos
Your punk rock band name is The Sticky Horseshoe

whitney's funny dream

"Last night i dreamed that you and Winter were best friends with Fergie and her new backup dancers, and when i came to see you guys you told me that learning the choreography to 'London Bridge' was the most important thing EVER and that you couldn't be my friend anymore--which you told me while dancing the"choreography" which included moves that went something like: chicken wings 3 times, stomp to the left, twist twist, stomp to the right, twist twist, fist in the air, head down, pump fist, pump fist, flying karate kick and SCREAM!!!!! I know because the ENTIRE TIME you guys talked to me you were doing it, with Fergie yelling like a crazed drill seargent in the background. She was really mean, i don't know why you guys were friends with her. Anyway, i was really sad you picked Fergie to be your friend instead of me and i started crying and then i woke up right as Fergie was calling me a 'wussy cry baby ass monkey'. Weirdly enough the entire dream took place on the set of The Office, which is funny because I don't watch The Office. And America Ferrera gave me her hankie when i started crying--what she was doing there, i don't know. "

movie review

CHILDREN OF MEN
Clive Owen, Michael Caine, Julianne Moore, Claire-Hope Ashitey
Directed by Alfonso Cuarón

i'll just quote the imdb.com summary: "In 2027, in a chaotic world in which humans can no longer procreate, a former activist agrees to help transport a miraculously pregnant woman to a sanctuary at sea, where her child's birth may help scientists save the future of humankind."
This film opens with Theo (Owens) and in the background the death of 'Baby Diego', the youngest person in the world/the last baby born 18+ years ago, is announced. Everyone but Theo is stunned and overwhelmed with grief. We learn through voiceover that Theo doesn't feel much of anything anymore. "I can't really remember when I last had any hope, and I certainly can't remember when anyone else did either. Because really, since women stopped being able to have babies, what's left to hope for?" Theo goes to visit his friend Jaspar (Caine) and there's a little more exposition about what's going on in the world. It's not clear why no one is fertile anymore, but the world is a mess of war and all nations but England have essentially dissolved into chaos. In response, England has turned Orwellian in its governing and has outlawed any and all immigration. Jaspar used to be a political cartoonist and his wife was a photojournalist, but after she was tortured they went into hiding out in the woods. Jaspar smokes alot of pot and listens to the Beatles. Michael Caine is always great, especially when he's given more flavorful characters than 'Elderly Man to serve as sage/touchstone to more younger, manic characters". (i know you hear me too, Morgan Freeman!)
Anyway, Theo gets approached by Julian (Moore), his ex and a political fugitive, and her band of activists because they need his help procuring transit papers for a girl who is not a citizen. Theo can only get papers for her if he goes with, so he does and meets Kee (Ashitey). Things get crazy and Theo very soon finds out that Kee isn't just any girl, she's 8 months pregnant. No one has been pregnant for almost 20 years. The activists are trying to get Kee to the coast where she'll meet a hospital boat disguised as a fishing boat, run by the mysterious Human Project. Theo has to protect Kee from all angles: any system or group who finds out about her would want to lock her up, use her for political leverage, study her, etc. Plus there's violence and insanity all around them. Jaspar hooks them up with refuge and convoy, but the rest is up to them.
i hope that's enough info, i didn't want to give too much away. This is a good movie, and a very rewarding one if you're one of those people who catches seemingly insignificant details in the background. There is very little exposition about the state of the world, but if you pay attention to the billboards, news, and characters in the background as Theo moves about London you'll notice how thorough the film actually is. It begins with a universal emotion: the death of a celebrity, and there are scenes that are very reminiscient of Princess Di's death and the like. Theo appears to be the only one unaffected. Clive Owen is always a tad wooden, so i guess he was a good choice to play a numb character. The movie then shifts to the single experience: Theo and a handful of others are the only ones who know about Kee, who herself is alone in her experience. The end of the movie shifts back to the universal in one of the most effecting scenes i've seen in a long time. i can't explain it because it's a spoiler, but it's amazing.
Alfonso Cuarón adapted this movie from the book by PD James (which i will be reading asap) and did an amazing job of setting the film and paying attention to what the details of a childless world would be. For example, the frequency of animals. There are always dogs, cats, etc around, forcing humanity to recognize that it will die and the beasts will go on reproducing. Also the women in Theo's office weep over the death of Baby Diego and Cuarón shows you gently that they're not crying for only one baby, but for those they cannot have. The film is also beautiful, which is kind of strange since the cities are in ruins and everyone is being shot and all. Caine is memorable, Moore is actually believable as a political outlaw and leader of a violent revolution, Owens, like i said, tends to be wooden, but the moments of pure emotion for Theo, and there are just enough, were well-played. i like that in the course of the film he didn't go from numb opportunist to blubbering moral hero. It was very natural. Claire-Hope Ashitey is very good as Kee and i also appreciated the restraint she and the writers exercised. There were no 'woe is i!' fits, but she wasn't unidentifiable either. The predominant theme is very natural in the sense that 'we do what we must to carry on', which of course stands out in the midst of a world that has turned very unnatural in its failure to reproduce and its bent toward destruction in every sense. (Oh yeah, when Theo goes to visit his government-official cousin in what Julian calls 'the art ark' we learn that they've even stripped art away from the masses. Picasso's Guernica makes an appearance, as does Michaelangelo's David.) Anyway, i loved it and so did those i went with. Aside from a little awkward dialogue here and there, it's a great movie with alot of important things to say. 4 out of 5 helpful gyspsies.