Time for another exciting round...

...of 'TEXT MESSAGES SAVED IN MY PHONE THAT ARE EITHER FUNNY IN AND OF THEMSELVES, OR FUNNY WHEN YOU READ THEM OUT OF CONTEXT, OR FUNNY WHEN YOU READ TWO UNRELATED ONES TOGETHER, OR JUST FUN.'

Like a midget peeing in a urnal, i was gonna have to keep on my toes.

I couldn't make that up if g tried?

BEST. BOND. EVER

Oh what's that, you love me McDreamy? Oh yeah i know you do

i'll call u when i get 2 your place of work. do u actually work?
(you can guess what i answered)
Me neither. (this is from a CDF firefighter, so don't leave candles unattended)

Because i think we should cook food and eat it all.

How do you feel about animal prints in general?

Itunes beyotch! take THAT!

White.y?

Would you be up for coffee with Danielle and then dogs? (coffee with dogs? could be fun)

i don't like my friends here anymore.

Try to my face and watch what happens!

where is your velvet elvis?

On my 32nd attempt at baking cookies, the technique continues to escape me.

Trees can do that?

Want to meet for lunch and then invite us over to play Mario Party?

Not yet. It sucked my butt!

AWE! SOME!!

It still amazes me how much better the ice blendeds from CBandTL are than anywhere else.

Winter is WRONG! we snuck a bottle of champagne in and it was still booooring!

The relief will come with my next poop.

My dad made a 4x7 foot cardboard motorcycle pinata for Andy's bday!

Kahlua just licked Cosmo all over the head. Baptized him!

Also, i'm glad that i will never have to do the long distance phone/text sex thing!

I'm hella allergic yo.

Go buckhalter! He got the start. (it should be pointed out that i don't have a Fant. Football team, nor do i know who Buckhalter is)

The only currency you have in this bankrupt world is the stuff you share with people when you're uncool.

Seriously.

everyone needs a cause

Our friend Craig Slike is a big fan of breasts........specifically, breast cancer research. Every year he participates in San Diego's 3-day Marathon to raise money, and he throws fundraising parties and concerts called BreastFest. This year he and two friends formed a team for the marathon and called themselves 'Walking for Second Base'. You can view pictures of the adventure here and see what other crazy costumes/names/ideas people came up with.

true story

This morning i mowed the lawn around a 6 foot inflatable pilgrim turkey, then i fed the clippings to the goats that live with the peacock.