now there's a headline you don't read every day

STEPHEN KING, JOHN MELLENCAMP TEAM UP FOR MUSICAL
– Stephen King has written the script for Ghost Brothers of Darkland County, a stage musical scored by John Mellencamp. The production will open at Atlanta's Alliance Theatre in April 2009 with the aim of an eventual Broadway run. The production is being described by the theater as ''a sultry Southern gothic mystery with a blues-tinged, guitar-driven score.'' The story is about the deaths of two brothers and a young girl and the legend that grows out of the tragedy. The concept came from Mellencamp, who said he heard the tale years ago in his hometown of Seymour, IN.

text messages in my phone

(you're probably thinking 'how can she have these lists so frequently?" the answer is twofold. i can go thru 30 texts in a day, and i have some very funny people on the other end of the line.)

-I told her that all depends on if you believe life begins at conception
-I Fwd'd that to a single girl i know & she found the information neither funny or useful. In fact she called me a bitch. You try to help a friend...
-So would you like the honor me being my valentine?
-Yeah and stupid mesh hat
-Holy poop rats where will you in now?
-There Will Be Three Hours Of Nothing Happening
-Who is this tiger-loving namesake?
-Bonnie (a mystery text from...you guessed it, Bonnie)
-Our house is open if you need a place to not perish.
-If you eat onions, your breath is nabbage!
-i'm a playa playa
-Are you saying michael Jackson is a gov. Built robot designed to molest little boys to distract us from the war?
-Where is the poem to prove it, huh? HUH?
-Yes but you had a crush on every boy. So he doesnt even make a blip.
-You should come down here for the va-j-j monologues next weekend!
-you're joking right? all Tom Petty does is smoke weed. my parents took us to see him when i was 15 (max was 9. ha! and he knew all the words), and he lit up on stage.
-I decided that cleaning the litter box is like gold panning for poo and pee.
-let us rejoice in our 12 year old boynish! boyishness? boesqueicity?
-Hope possweiler didn't scare them on the way out.
-we will have to call it "i aint done nothin wrong yer honor" cuz that's all i heard today.
-Aww man! You made me giggle in the quiet part!
-Kgpdmwwrajg.tkag.adtjamwtjt
-jason schwartzman has a sexy voice. i want to have babies with it.
-see! it's not just me and the gays!
-I'm almost as excited as I willie on my wedding night!
-Well yeah, you have to look past the little piles of poo in order to take advantage of the zen garden litter box. Doy.
-they will probably have robots that will prepare, chew and digest their food for them. just a guess.
-Oops that was meant for my friend kallie
-who knew flying hamsters were so hard to control?
-Hahah! Sorry meow meow kitty meow meow
-you would be amazed at the amount of stomach contents i just left in the parking lot after watching cloverfield.
-false alarm. it wasn't a real dog.
-I wish that man was straight! Love him!
-I'm really good at pouring orange juice.
-if beds ever become obsolete i will cry myself to sleep. oh wait....dammit future!
-Drop Josh and then we'll consider if you can hang with us.
-Who the crap is chocopie?
-Oh i won't- i keep my vagina in a secret oak treasure chest under my bed.
-i don't nothin bout birthN No penis
-Charlie has a peepee! When can we cut it off?!
-We're going to see I Am Legend at 4:30. You and Lyn need to decide if you've got the balls to see it or if your gonna go see the Little Mermaid instead.
-If by weird you mean awesome then yes.
-i hate high schoolers. don't they know how dumb they are? (this was from a high school teacher, naturally)
-i hear God is pooing snow on you. (from an east coast friend, received on a sunny day)
-Janet has a roomba and it scares the HELL out of me. so i just keep thinking "what do u expect mother?! i'm half machine!"
-I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! Yay for boobies!
-man alive. (spouse's) grandparents really know how to bring the boring.
-happy ludrichristmas!! i'm sad to say that santa did NOT bring me a spider pig...
-Hope you scored with santa. Wait not like that
-The JW's are in the hood, don't answer your door!
-Nothing like a 4 hour drive in the snow hungover
-Definately, probably!
-Do you have Markles Address?
-Are we going to fly go your private jet to go see it...don't tease me like that.
-No way! I didn't know that dog could shoot lasers!

movie review

Gone Baby Gone

starring Casey Affleck, Ed Harris, Morgan Freeman

This film, Ben Affleck's writing and directing debut, is a very close adaptation of Dennis Lehane's book of the same title. (Lehane also wrote the book Mystic River, which Clint Eastwood turned into a masterful film.) i read the book in advance, looking forward to the movie, so that comparison informs much of my opinion. (and means this will be extra long)

First, a spoiler-free synopsis: Patrick (Casey Affleck) and his girlfriend Angie (Michelle Monaghan) are private investigators in Dorchester, a salty suburb of Boston. They grew up there, know the neighborhood and its characters. When 4yr old Amanda disappears from her bed in the middle of the night, her aunt convinces Patrick & Angie to use their 'local angle' to aid in the police's search. Amanda's mom, Helene (Amy Ryan), is not the pitiable, easy-to-swallow soccer-mom victim that the media usually casts in these cases. She's crass, she has substance abuse problems, she'd left Amanda alone in the house when the kidnapping happened...she doesn't make it easy on anyone. Capt. Jack Doyle (Freeman) is himself the parent of a child who went missing and has made his career crusading against such crimes. He's irritated by Patrick & Angie's involvement and sticks them with Detectives Bressant (Harris) and Poole. Patrick & Angie quickly use their personal connections to make inroads in the case, but it gets more murky and frustrating the further in they get.

What's really striking about this film is the authenticity of the peripheral characters, extras, setting, etc. Both Afflecks and Lehane grew up in Boston, so there isn't a false ring anywhere. Aside from the aforementioned actors, everyone else in this film seems pulled right out of the fabric of Dorchester and put in front of the camera doing exactly what they would've been doing had a film crew not rolled into town. Really, Dorchester itself is as much a character as Patrick or Helene. The standout performances come from Casey Affleck, Amy Ryan and Ed Harris. Affleck's Patrick is a shifting mix of the hard shell from a lifetime spent in Dorchester and from working as a PI, and the conflicted innocence of being young and always just at arm's length from the Worst Of It. Obviously the accent and speech patterns are natural to him, but you don't find yourself thinking 'well, it's really nice that this is the actor's native 'tongue'', you just see Patrick in his element. Unfortunately, Michelle Monaghan's Angie wasn't given much to do besides stand behind Patrck and look very sad. i've liked Monaghan in other movies (she was great in North Country) and it's not that she's not great here, but she just wasn't written the way Lehane wrote her in his novel. i got the impression they just didn't have time for it. Amy Ryan's Helene is deservedly nominated for a supporting actress nomination. She's unsavory, hard, selfish and may look alot like people at your hometown WalMart or who you went to high school with. But she's also in over her head and coming to grips with what kind of mother she's been to Amanda. It's a really complete performance; i don't know if she's a 'character actor' or not, but it was that level of fullness. While Ed Harris and Morgan Freeman are always reliable, Freeman's role is smaller and doesn't require as much. Harris' Det. Remy Bressant is compelling, and i felt like it was his best work in a while. i don't know if others will agree, but i think he really embodied the character Lehane crafted so well in his book.

This is not a feel-good movie. Lehane drew upon his experience working with abused children to give a glimpse into their world that is a punch in your gut and hurts all the more because you know it's just a drop in a very deep, very wide bucket. The screenwriters made only minor changes to the cast and story, and did the best they could, but it felt a little rushed, which is almost always the case when you compare novel to film. The moral question posed at the end was more dividing in the book version, but i think the film still does a good job of posing it. As the tagline says: "Everyone wants the truth...until they find it." (i'd really love to discuss the end, but i don't want to spoil it. If you see it, let's discuss.) Even though it's not fair to compare first-timer Ben Affleck with seasoned craftsman Clint Eastwood, i'm going to say Mystic River was a better adaptation, but lacked the city-as-character quality in the way that Affleck accomplished.

All in all, an arresting, well-acted film that serves as both a love note and a garish reality check.

4 magic words

THE STRIKE IS OVER.

Hooray! Come back to me, Dwight, Betty, Liz Lemon and co.! The Frasier reruns can only do so much.

a poem i'd forgotten i'd written

assumptions on snow


snow is a bed is a meal is a pile
of sweet clean laundry i don't
have to fold it's a roll
an embrace and a reason for things
it's not the sea
snow is straightforward complexity
an escape and monotony
it's paint for the trees
and turpentine for the leaves
snow hates cats and cactus
it loves oysters but never met one
it's a network of idolators
and a zealot's release.

rant

What's worse than a person who doesn't turn their cell phone ringer off as instructed, and therefore interrupts the sermon/movie/wedding/etc with their inevitably-onboxious, electronic version of "Take Me Out To The Ballgame"/"Fergalicious"/ "Chopin Waltz No. 5"? THE 2ND PERSON TO DO SO. That's what i don't get. Maybe the first person was rushing to arrive on time, forgot to silence the phone, didn't know they even had their phone in their purse...whatever. But after it goes off, shouldn't everyone else in the space be reminded of the proper etiquette and think either, a: "i'm so glad i turned my ringer off! yay me!" b: "hmmm, i don't know if my phone is silenced, i should double check to spare these other nice people further disruption." or c: "oh my, i ignored the first three admonishments to silence my phone, i guess i'd better do it now." ??? i'm losing faith in humanity. The other day Betsy and i were at the movies and not only did a lady ANSWER her cell in the middle of the film ("HI, I'M IN THE THEATER, I CAN'T TALK. (apparently she didn't truly believe that) NO, I'M IN THE THEATER. I'LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK. OKAY. OKAY. BYE."), but not 5 minute went by before another person's phone rang. i just don't get it.

Once i attended a performance of Macbeth presented by the Ashland Shakespeare Festival, held in one of the smaller theaters, situated in the round. There were several reminders for all patrons to silence their phones. Lo and behold, at the most pivotal moment, the facedown of Macbeth vs Macduff, a phone erupted in a most awful 'cheerful' song. This was only half the crime: this poor excuse for a sentient being LET IT RING 9 TIMES. i thought the ushers were going to poo a brick, they were furiously scanning the crowd for the culprit and one in particular looked like he would haul off and pummel the phone's owner, right there in the row. Of course, all suspension of disbelief was snapped: the scene fell totally flat even though the actors, consummate professionals, didn't even miss a beat. i need to believe that there's a special ring of hell determined for that playgoer and other cell phone offenders.

And since we're on the celly subject, don't text message in the movie theater. It's like waving around a flashlight. You think you're sneaky, but you're not. The next person to do it owes me $9.50.