...where you plug in different facts and it gives you the following:
Your movie star name is Raisen Floy
Your fly girl name is K Mar
Your detective name is Puppy Foothill
Your barfly name is PB Mojito
Your socialite name is Pally Sanfran
Your rock star name is Rolo Hummingbird
Your Star Wars name is Kalcos Marjos
Your punk rock band name is The Sticky Horseshoe
January 30, 2007
January 17, 2007
whitney's funny dream
"Last night i dreamed that you and Winter were best friends with Fergie and her new backup dancers, and when i came to see you guys you told me that learning the choreography to 'London Bridge' was the most important thing EVER and that you couldn't be my friend anymore--which you told me while dancing the"choreography" which included moves that went something like: chicken wings 3 times, stomp to the left, twist twist, stomp to the right, twist twist, fist in the air, head down, pump fist, pump fist, flying karate kick and SCREAM!!!!! I know because the ENTIRE TIME you guys talked to me you were doing it, with Fergie yelling like a crazed drill seargent in the 
background. She was really mean, i don't know why you guys were friends with her. Anyway, i was really sad you picked Fergie to be your friend instead of me and i started crying and then i woke up right as Fergie was calling me a 'wussy cry baby ass monkey'. Weirdly enough the entire dream took place on the set of The Office, which is funny because I don't watch The Office. And America Ferrera gave me her hankie when i started crying--what she was doing there, i don't know. "
January 06, 2007
movie review
CHILDREN OF MEN
Clive Owen, Michael Caine, Julianne Moore, Claire-Hope Ashitey
Directed by Alfonso Cuarón
i'll just quote the imdb.com summary: "In 2027, in a chaotic world in which humans can no longer procreate, a former activist agrees to help transport a miraculously pregnant woman to a sanctuary at sea, where her child's birth may help scientists save the future of humankind."
This film opens with Theo (Owens) and in the background the death of 'Baby Diego', the youngest person in the world/the last baby born 18+ years ago, is announced. Everyone but Theo is stunned and overwhelmed with grief. We learn through voiceover that Theo doesn't feel much of anything anymore. "I can't really remember when I last had any hope, and I certainly can't remember when anyone else did either. Because really, since women stopped being able to have babies, what's left to hope for?" Theo goes to visit his friend Jaspar (Caine) and there's a little more exposition about what's going on in the world. It's not clear why no one is fertile anymore, but the world is a mess of war and all nations but England have essentially dissolved into chaos. In response, England has turned Orwellian in its governing and has outlawed any and all immigration. Jaspar used to be a political cartoonist and his wife was a photojournalist, but after she was tortured they went into hiding out in the woods. Jaspar smokes alot of pot and listens to the Beatles. Michael Caine is always great, especially when he's given more flavorful characters than 'Elderly Man to serve as sage/touchstone to more younger, manic characters". (i know you hear me too, Morgan Freeman!)
Anyway, Theo gets approached by Julian (Moore), his ex and a political fugitive, and her band of activists because they need his help procuring transit
papers for a girl who is not a citizen. Theo can only get papers for her if he goes with, so he does and meets Kee (Ashitey). Things get crazy and Theo very soon finds out that Kee isn't just any girl, she's 8 months pregnant. No one has been pregnant for almost 20 years. The activists are trying to get Kee to the coast where she'll meet a hospital boat disguised as a fishing boat, run by the mysterious Human Project. Theo has to protect Kee from all angles: any system or group who finds out about her would want to lock her up, use her for political leverage, study her, etc. Plus there's violence and insanity all around them. Jaspar hooks them up with refuge and convoy, but the rest is up to them.
i hope that's enough info, i didn't want to give too much away. This is a good movie, and a very rewarding one if you're one of those people who catches seemingly insignificant details in the background. There is very little exposition about the state of the world, but if you pay attention to the billboards, news, and characters in the background as Theo moves about London you'll notice how thorough the film actually is. It begins with a universal emotion: the death of a celebrity, and there are scenes that are very reminiscient of Princess Di's death and the like. Theo appears to be the only one unaffected. Clive Owen is always a tad wooden, so i guess he was a good choice to play a numb character. The movie then shifts to the single experience: Theo and a handful of others are the only ones who know about Kee, who herself is alone in her experience. The end of the movie shifts back to the universal in one of the most effecting scenes i've seen in a long time. i can't explain it because it's a spoiler, but it's amazing.
Alfonso Cuarón adapted this movie from the book by PD James (which i will be reading asap) and did an amazing job of setting the film and paying attention to what the details of a childless world would be. For example, the frequency of animals. There are always dogs, cats, etc around, forcing humanity to recognize that it will die and the beasts will go on reproducing. Also the women in Theo's office weep over the death of Baby Diego and Cuarón shows you gently that they're not crying for only one baby, but for those they cannot have. The film is also beautiful, which is kind of strange since the cities are in ruins and everyone is being shot and all. Caine is memorable, Moore is actually believable as a political outlaw and leader of a violent revolution, Owens, like i said, tends to be wooden, but the moments of pure emotion for Theo, and there are just enough, were well-played. i like that in the course of the film he didn't go from numb opportunist to blubbering moral hero. It was very natural. Claire-Hope Ashitey is very good as Kee and i also appreciated the restraint she and the writers exercised. There were no 'woe is i!' fits, but she wasn't unidentifiable either. The predominant theme is very natural in the sense that 'we do what we must to carry on', which of course stands out in the midst of a world that has turned very unnatural in its failure to reproduce and its bent toward destruction in every sense. (Oh yeah, when Theo goes to visit his government-official cousin in what Julian calls 'the art ark' we learn that they've even stripped art away from the masses. Picasso's Guernica makes an appearance, as does Michaelangelo's David.) Anyway, i loved it and so did those i went with. Aside from a little awkward dialogue here and there, it's a great movie with alot of important things to say. 4 out of 5 helpful gyspsies.
Clive Owen, Michael Caine, Julianne Moore, Claire-Hope Ashitey
Directed by Alfonso Cuarón
i'll just quote the imdb.com summary: "In 2027, in a chaotic world in which humans can no longer procreate, a former activist agrees to help transport a miraculously pregnant woman to a sanctuary at sea, where her child's birth may help scientists save the future of humankind."
This film opens with Theo (Owens) and in the background the death of 'Baby Diego', the youngest person in the world/the last baby born 18+ years ago, is announced. Everyone but Theo is stunned and overwhelmed with grief. We learn through voiceover that Theo doesn't feel much of anything anymore. "I can't really remember when I last had any hope, and I certainly can't remember when anyone else did either. Because really, since women stopped being able to have babies, what's left to hope for?" Theo goes to visit his friend Jaspar (Caine) and there's a little more exposition about what's going on in the world. It's not clear why no one is fertile anymore, but the world is a mess of war and all nations but England have essentially dissolved into chaos. In response, England has turned Orwellian in its governing and has outlawed any and all immigration. Jaspar used to be a political cartoonist and his wife was a photojournalist, but after she was tortured they went into hiding out in the woods. Jaspar smokes alot of pot and listens to the Beatles. Michael Caine is always great, especially when he's given more flavorful characters than 'Elderly Man to serve as sage/touchstone to more younger, manic characters". (i know you hear me too, Morgan Freeman!)
Anyway, Theo gets approached by Julian (Moore), his ex and a political fugitive, and her band of activists because they need his help procuring transit
papers for a girl who is not a citizen. Theo can only get papers for her if he goes with, so he does and meets Kee (Ashitey). Things get crazy and Theo very soon finds out that Kee isn't just any girl, she's 8 months pregnant. No one has been pregnant for almost 20 years. The activists are trying to get Kee to the coast where she'll meet a hospital boat disguised as a fishing boat, run by the mysterious Human Project. Theo has to protect Kee from all angles: any system or group who finds out about her would want to lock her up, use her for political leverage, study her, etc. Plus there's violence and insanity all around them. Jaspar hooks them up with refuge and convoy, but the rest is up to them. i hope that's enough info, i didn't want to give too much away. This is a good movie, and a very rewarding one if you're one of those people who catches seemingly insignificant details in the background. There is very little exposition about the state of the world, but if you pay attention to the billboards, news, and characters in the background as Theo moves about London you'll notice how thorough the film actually is. It begins with a universal emotion: the death of a celebrity, and there are scenes that are very reminiscient of Princess Di's death and the like. Theo appears to be the only one unaffected. Clive Owen is always a tad wooden, so i guess he was a good choice to play a numb character. The movie then shifts to the single experience: Theo and a handful of others are the only ones who know about Kee, who herself is alone in her experience. The end of the movie shifts back to the universal in one of the most effecting scenes i've seen in a long time. i can't explain it because it's a spoiler, but it's amazing.
Alfonso Cuarón adapted this movie from the book by PD James (which i will be reading asap) and did an amazing job of setting the film and paying attention to what the details of a childless world would be. For example, the frequency of animals. There are always dogs, cats, etc around, forcing humanity to recognize that it will die and the beasts will go on reproducing. Also the women in Theo's office weep over the death of Baby Diego and Cuarón shows you gently that they're not crying for only one baby, but for those they cannot have. The film is also beautiful, which is kind of strange since the cities are in ruins and everyone is being shot and all. Caine is memorable, Moore is actually believable as a political outlaw and leader of a violent revolution, Owens, like i said, tends to be wooden, but the moments of pure emotion for Theo, and there are just enough, were well-played. i like that in the course of the film he didn't go from numb opportunist to blubbering moral hero. It was very natural. Claire-Hope Ashitey is very good as Kee and i also appreciated the restraint she and the writers exercised. There were no 'woe is i!' fits, but she wasn't unidentifiable either. The predominant theme is very natural in the sense that 'we do what we must to carry on', which of course stands out in the midst of a world that has turned very unnatural in its failure to reproduce and its bent toward destruction in every sense. (Oh yeah, when Theo goes to visit his government-official cousin in what Julian calls 'the art ark' we learn that they've even stripped art away from the masses. Picasso's Guernica makes an appearance, as does Michaelangelo's David.) Anyway, i loved it and so did those i went with. Aside from a little awkward dialogue here and there, it's a great movie with alot of important things to say. 4 out of 5 helpful gyspsies.
January 03, 2007
Don't drink the water!
JOSSELYN AND DEVEN ARE PREGNANT TOO! They're also having their little goober in July. "A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on." -Carl Sandburg
January 02, 2007
Catching Up
The weekend of December 9th we went to The City with Jesse and Lyn to shop and Photoshop and got to meet up with Jamileh, Matt and Erin so there was a small FHS class of 99 reunion. We left Josh's truck overnight at the BART station in the hopes that it'd get stolen and we could get a new car, but unfortunately it was all present and accounted for when we returned. Next time we'll leave it at the Richmond station instead :P
The next weekend we drove to San Diego with Travis, Amber and Atticus to help BonBon pack up her too-few boxes (in this clotheshorse's opinion) and hang out in America's Finest City for a bit. We deserve medals because we managed to sit in traffic in 3 out of the 4 CA cities that even have noteworthy traffic. Jesse and Lyn flew in (they follow us around because we're THAT fun) and did a little filming for Bonnie and Andy's wedding video. It was cold. i stood on a cliff holding a big shiny disc in the wind. After all that we got to show Les Rostens Our City and they had the appropriate response: rapture. San Diego rocks. We miss it alot. It was strange though, to be there and not have a bucketful of people to see. They've all moved away to better housing markets. But Ashley and Josh took me out and Whit and TanTan joined us for tacos so it was still a very productive visit.
As soon as we got back it was time for the final Christmas push. Josh and i were up late every night painting masterpieces to give as gifts and we had a good time. We make a very good team, artistically, with his technical know-how, creative ability, artist's eye and my capacity for eating paint and getting it everywhere BUT the canvas. Cosmo helped too, by batting at the paintbrushes while we were using them and rolling around on the expensive paper. i'm glad he's smart enough to not try to drink the turpentine.
Then it was time for Josh's mom's birthday. We all gathered at Chili's, where we learned that little children should not eat candy canes, chips and salsa, pizza, fries and milkshakes in quick succession. Josh and i also realized that out of our group of married friends, we hit the jackpot in in-laws. (we'd known this before, but we got the thinking about it again)
The next day we had early Christmas with the Extended Bakerses in Loomis and got into some cutthroat Uno. We met Mrs. Roy, who is a male puppy, and watched the gloves come off when the gift exchange began. Battle French Press will not soon be forgotten. Everyone scored new socks and had a good time.
Christmas Eve was spent at Robyn and Gary's with gift exchanging and other deliciousness. i got a cool book on Steinbeck and California, Josh got a bunch of women's underwear that he'll have to return in order to get the Target credit, courtesy of Adam. That evening we vegged watched the Vatican's midnight mass with Brandon.
Christmas Day meant helping Laverne make dumplings, gorging ourselves with those tiny chocolate liquer bottles and duking it out in the annual Walth gift card exchange. Evidently no one in Josh's family likes bookstores or movies, so we left with the same gift cards we brought. Score! Then we drove to Redding and had gift time with my parents and siblings while Cosmo drank the tree water and ate houseplants. More fun presents including a fondu set and some new clothes.
THEN we looked at real estate until our eyeballs fell out and picked out a few good future residences. Now it's up to the loan folks to decide how many millions of dollars to give us.
We left Redding, spent one night back at home, waved to the roommates, and got in the car again to drive to Redlands and keep Winter and Jason awake when they got back from Costa Rica. No jet lag allowed! Future Supreme Court Superstare Aaron Friberg joined us and we had a superfun New Year's Eve with cards, shots, and cats. The next day Matt, Bren and Lizzie "Miss New York"Alexander arrived along with Laurie and we got a very brief but very worth-it reunion squeezed in before we had to get back on the road and come home.
Tons of driving, mucho quality time, oodles of hugs and yummies. A good holiday season. Pics to come when we unpack.
The next weekend we drove to San Diego with Travis, Amber and Atticus to help BonBon pack up her too-few boxes (in this clotheshorse's opinion) and hang out in America's Finest City for a bit. We deserve medals because we managed to sit in traffic in 3 out of the 4 CA cities that even have noteworthy traffic. Jesse and Lyn flew in (they follow us around because we're THAT fun) and did a little filming for Bonnie and Andy's wedding video. It was cold. i stood on a cliff holding a big shiny disc in the wind. After all that we got to show Les Rostens Our City and they had the appropriate response: rapture. San Diego rocks. We miss it alot. It was strange though, to be there and not have a bucketful of people to see. They've all moved away to better housing markets. But Ashley and Josh took me out and Whit and TanTan joined us for tacos so it was still a very productive visit.
As soon as we got back it was time for the final Christmas push. Josh and i were up late every night painting masterpieces to give as gifts and we had a good time. We make a very good team, artistically, with his technical know-how, creative ability, artist's eye and my capacity for eating paint and getting it everywhere BUT the canvas. Cosmo helped too, by batting at the paintbrushes while we were using them and rolling around on the expensive paper. i'm glad he's smart enough to not try to drink the turpentine.
Then it was time for Josh's mom's birthday. We all gathered at Chili's, where we learned that little children should not eat candy canes, chips and salsa, pizza, fries and milkshakes in quick succession. Josh and i also realized that out of our group of married friends, we hit the jackpot in in-laws. (we'd known this before, but we got the thinking about it again)
The next day we had early Christmas with the Extended Bakerses in Loomis and got into some cutthroat Uno. We met Mrs. Roy, who is a male puppy, and watched the gloves come off when the gift exchange began. Battle French Press will not soon be forgotten. Everyone scored new socks and had a good time.
Christmas Eve was spent at Robyn and Gary's with gift exchanging and other deliciousness. i got a cool book on Steinbeck and California, Josh got a bunch of women's underwear that he'll have to return in order to get the Target credit, courtesy of Adam. That evening we vegged watched the Vatican's midnight mass with Brandon.
Christmas Day meant helping Laverne make dumplings, gorging ourselves with those tiny chocolate liquer bottles and duking it out in the annual Walth gift card exchange. Evidently no one in Josh's family likes bookstores or movies, so we left with the same gift cards we brought. Score! Then we drove to Redding and had gift time with my parents and siblings while Cosmo drank the tree water and ate houseplants. More fun presents including a fondu set and some new clothes.
THEN we looked at real estate until our eyeballs fell out and picked out a few good future residences. Now it's up to the loan folks to decide how many millions of dollars to give us.
We left Redding, spent one night back at home, waved to the roommates, and got in the car again to drive to Redlands and keep Winter and Jason awake when they got back from Costa Rica. No jet lag allowed! Future Supreme Court Superstare Aaron Friberg joined us and we had a superfun New Year's Eve with cards, shots, and cats. The next day Matt, Bren and Lizzie "Miss New York"Alexander arrived along with Laurie and we got a very brief but very worth-it reunion squeezed in before we had to get back on the road and come home.
Tons of driving, mucho quality time, oodles of hugs and yummies. A good holiday season. Pics to come when we unpack.
Betting has closed.
The next baby out of our group of college cronies will be born to Rachel and Jason Jenkins!!! Little R2/J2 is due July 4th and will most certainly have gorgeous blue eyes and a predilection for bunnies. CONGRATS TO RACH AND JASON! A reunion in the northwest is definitely in order.
December 20, 2006
i believe the word you're looking for is 'it's-a-Christmas-miracle'
Having awkwardly hauled cupcakes to a potluck just last night, i am thunderstruck by this. 
Folks, meet the Cupcake Courier.
"The Cupcake Courier is a rectangular, translucent plastic container that holds three stackable cupcake trays. Each tray has 12 deep cups to hold each cupcake secure. It has a comfortable handle, and 4 bottom latches that hold the base securely.
The Cupcake Courier is able to transport and/or store up to thirty-six cupcakes or muffins all in one easy, great looking container!
The Cupcake Courier's 3 trays can be removed, and the unit can double as a cake courier."
Folks, meet the Cupcake Courier.
"The Cupcake Courier is a rectangular, translucent plastic container that holds three stackable cupcake trays. Each tray has 12 deep cups to hold each cupcake secure. It has a comfortable handle, and 4 bottom latches that hold the base securely.
The Cupcake Courier is able to transport and/or store up to thirty-six cupcakes or muffins all in one easy, great looking container!
The Cupcake Courier's 3 trays can be removed, and the unit can double as a cake courier."
December 13, 2006
Puttin' on the Ritz!
Emmy-winning actor Peter Boyle, who played the dancing monster in the movie "Young Frankenstein" and grouchy father Frank Barone in the TV series "Everybody Loves Raymond," has died, his publicist said on Wednesday.The 71-year-old former Christian Brothers monk died on Tuesday after a long battle with multiple myeloma and heart disease, his publicists said.
Boyle, who often played cantankerous characters, shot to fame as a foul-mouthed, working-class bigot in the 1970 film "Joe."
He also played one of Robert DeNiro's fellow taxi drivers in Martin Scorsese's "Taxi Driver" in 1976, the cruel, racist father to Billy Bob Thornton in 2001's "Monster's Ball," and took a comic turn as the Frankenstein monster in the 1974 Mel Brooks spoof "Young Frankenstein."
In recent years he played numerous roles on television, including the father to Ray Romano's character. He acted in 201 episodes of the situation comedy from 1996 to 2005 and received numerous Emmy nominations.
He won an Emmy for outstanding guest actor appearance on "The X-Files" in 1996.
Beatle John Lennon was the best man at Boyle's 1977 wedding to journalist Loraine Alterman, then a Rolling Stone reporter.
He is survived by his wife and two daughters, Amy and Lucy Boyle.
Despite playing some unsavory characters, he refused roles that glamorized violence, including the lead role of Popeye Doyle that went to Gene Hackman in 1971's "The French Connection," according to the IMDb entertainment Web site.
Boyle suffered a stroke in 1990 and recovered, then had a heart attack on the set of "Everybody Loves Raymond" in March 1999. He returned to the show soon after heart surgery.
(obit courtesy of Reuters/TVguide.com)
How 'bout we all watch Young Frankenstein tonight? Peace out, Peter. Thank you for making us laugh.
December 10, 2006
movie review
APOCALYPTOStarring: Rudy Youngblood, Dalia Hernandez, and the last of the Mexican rainforests
(i'm still processing, so bear with me. )
i read that Mel Gibson's inspiration for this movie came in part out of his desire to do a really great chase scene: not with shiny cars or planes and trains, but an intense, edge-of-your-seat, primal chase. Essentially that's what the second half of this movie is.
Plot overview: Jaguar Paw's Mayan village is ravaged and everyone is taken as captives to be used as human sacrifices for another Mayan group. Jaguar Paw is able to hide his very pregnant wife, Seven, and their little boy, Turtles Run, in a chasm before he's captured. The rest of the film is him trying to escape his captors, avoid getting his heart carved out of his chest, and get back to his family.
The story is simple, but of course tells the larger tale of the decimation of the entire Mayan civilization. It also has much to say about living in a culture of fear and violence.
Speaking of violence..........it was graphic. Well, it was a Mel Gibson film. Think of how many times you peeped through your fingers during Braveheart while someone's skull was getting smashed, or in The Passion of the Christ when the soldiers were whipping Jesus. It's kinda like that. i only covered my eyes three times, but maybe i'm desensitized. For those who want to see the movie, but are a bit squeamish, i'll give you three warnings: Beware the valley after the corn. Beware the jaguar. Beware the waterfall.
Now to the main reason i wanted to see this movie: CULTURE. i feel incredibly lame saying this, because i know zilch about the Mayans, but it was so REAL. The 'set' (if you can reduce the rainforest to being a 'set'), the costuming, the scope of it was unfathomable. i couldn't help thinking of old westerns when they'd through a few feathers in a brunette's hair, put some brown slippers and a fringed skirt on her and call her Indian. In Apocalypto, you couldn't tell if the crazy tattooing or bone piercings were costume or not. i love wondering how many of the actors and extras were in their own skin, so to speak.
This movie exists in the strange dichotomy of being a gorgeous representation of stark, mind-boggling destruction. Everything and everyone is utterly believable. Maybe that's because i don't know any better, but i don't care.
Rudy Youngblood is amazing as Jaguar Paw. Whole stretches of story pass without dialogue (oh yeah, it's in MAYAN. You know how Mel loves those dead languages!) and he has to play punch drunk, deadly-calm, pure adrenaline, and primal fear kind of all at once for 3 hours. Dalia Hernandez (Seven) also deftly juggles mortal fear and bad-ass determination. Turtles Run: cutest little boy EVER, but i digress. Look up any of the actors in this film and you'll see only this film on their resume'. They're communicating the unreachable nightmare of a mysterious civilization in a dead language. Impressive.
If you don't let the violence get in the way of appreciating the undertaking, you'll enjoy this movie. i did, and it seemed like the rest of the packed theater for a late Sunday showing did. 5 out of 5 helpful poison frogs.
December 03, 2006
general update
Umm, where to start... Our Thanksgiving was busy: Hang out with Winter and Jason on Tuesday and Wednesday, drive to Redding, have a gourmet cheese-laden Thanksgiving followed rapidly by Bonnie's birthday and some impressive gingerbreading (we won), drive back to meet up with J and Winter again and go straight to Stockton to see the Thunder take on the Alaska Aces (overtime, then a shootout! we got out-aced though), Saturday was the requisite wine tasting and lunch at Lodi brewery followed by some desperate Wii-playing once John got home from SD with the Nintendo, then Sunday was Thanksgiving with the Markles, including more Wii and good times. That Monday, Kallie T. and i learned how to use BART and went into the city to do a little shopping and get our hair did by Cousin Margaret and now we're catching our breath. Josh is going to Chicago tomorrow (without ME!) for what i'm sure is some serious Christmas shopping for yours truly under the guise of 'doing business' and i'm getting the house decorated and wrapping the last few gifts. (Yes, our Christmas shopping is FINISHED. Yay US!) We're going to the city again this weekend to see Korina and so Josh can go to a Photoshop conference, then next weekend down to San Diego to visit friends and get Bonnie out of her dorm...after that....Christmas! Whoa. i'm gonna have to turn on my holiday tunes before it's all over. i guess that's it for now...
Can't talk, Eukanuba's on.
The AKC Eukanuba National Championship is on, and it makes me wonder if my life went in the wrong direction... but i guess it's not too late to have that puppy farm.
November 21, 2006
Time for another exciting round...
...of 'TEXT MESSAGES SAVED IN MY PHONE THAT ARE EITHER FUNNY IN AND OF THEMSELVES, OR FUNNY WHEN YOU READ THEM OUT OF CONTEXT, OR FUNNY WHEN YOU READ TWO UNRELATED ONES TOGETHER, OR JUST FUN.'
Like a midget peeing in a urnal, i was gonna have to keep on my toes.
I couldn't make that up if g tried?
BEST. BOND. EVER
Oh what's that, you love me McDreamy? Oh yeah i know you do
i'll call u when i get 2 your place of work. do u actually work?
(you can guess what i answered)
Me neither. (this is from a CDF firefighter, so don't leave candles unattended)
Because i think we should cook food and eat it all.
How do you feel about animal prints in general?
Itunes beyotch! take THAT!
White.y?
Would you be up for coffee with Danielle and then dogs? (coffee with dogs? could be fun)
i don't like my friends here anymore.
Try to my face and watch what happens!
where is your velvet elvis?
On my 32nd attempt at baking cookies, the technique continues to escape me.
Trees can do that?
Want to meet for lunch and then invite us over to play Mario Party?
Not yet. It sucked my butt!
AWE! SOME!!
It still amazes me how much better the ice blendeds from CBandTL are than anywhere else.
Winter is WRONG! we snuck a bottle of champagne in and it was still booooring!
The relief will come with my next poop.
My dad made a 4x7 foot cardboard motorcycle pinata for Andy's bday!
Kahlua just licked Cosmo all over the head. Baptized him!
Also, i'm glad that i will never have to do the long distance phone/text sex thing!
I'm hella allergic yo.
Go buckhalter! He got the start. (it should be pointed out that i don't have a Fant. Football team, nor do i know who Buckhalter is)
The only currency you have in this bankrupt world is the stuff you share with people when you're uncool.
Seriously.
Like a midget peeing in a urnal, i was gonna have to keep on my toes.
I couldn't make that up if g tried?
BEST. BOND. EVER
Oh what's that, you love me McDreamy? Oh yeah i know you do
i'll call u when i get 2 your place of work. do u actually work?
(you can guess what i answered)
Me neither. (this is from a CDF firefighter, so don't leave candles unattended)
Because i think we should cook food and eat it all.
How do you feel about animal prints in general?
Itunes beyotch! take THAT!
White.y?
Would you be up for coffee with Danielle and then dogs? (coffee with dogs? could be fun)
i don't like my friends here anymore.
Try to my face and watch what happens!
where is your velvet elvis?
On my 32nd attempt at baking cookies, the technique continues to escape me.
Trees can do that?
Want to meet for lunch and then invite us over to play Mario Party?
Not yet. It sucked my butt!
AWE! SOME!!
It still amazes me how much better the ice blendeds from CBandTL are than anywhere else.
Winter is WRONG! we snuck a bottle of champagne in and it was still booooring!
The relief will come with my next poop.
My dad made a 4x7 foot cardboard motorcycle pinata for Andy's bday!
Kahlua just licked Cosmo all over the head. Baptized him!
Also, i'm glad that i will never have to do the long distance phone/text sex thing!
I'm hella allergic yo.
Go buckhalter! He got the start. (it should be pointed out that i don't have a Fant. Football team, nor do i know who Buckhalter is)
The only currency you have in this bankrupt world is the stuff you share with people when you're uncool.
Seriously.
November 15, 2006
everyone needs a cause
Our friend Craig Slike is a big fan of breasts........specifically, breast cancer research. Every year he participates in San Diego's 3-day Marathon to raise money, and he throws fundraising parties and concerts called BreastFest. This year he and two friends formed a team for the marathon and called themselves 'Walking for Second Base'. You can view pictures of the adventure here and see what other crazy costumes/names/ideas people came up with.
November 04, 2006
true story
This morning i mowed the lawn around a 6 foot inflatable pilgrim turkey, then i fed the clippings to the goats that live with the peacock.
October 30, 2006
Halloween Poem
Halloween:
when children can wear their hero's shoes
and their fantasy’s crown,
be bigger than a nightmare
and turn a monster into nothing but a mask.
The curtain call for every PlayDate
and dress-up rehearsal,
all the world a fabulously-dressed guest,
a sparkling and ghoulish theatergoer.
Each takes her turn,
then his,
emerging from offstage as
Mistress Goddess Queen of Glamour Herself
and King Dragon Slayer Captain Triumph.
At the last call, to the applause of onethousand
bronze-armed trees and the grinning glee of
each glowing gourd face,
they rise
red and blue capes,
broomsticks and
rocketshoes,
fairy wings and wands swirling breathlessly
into the red carpet sky,
snapped clean by the admiring wind.
They shine,
and light up the night of the last great show of the season.
when children can wear their hero's shoes
and their fantasy’s crown,
be bigger than a nightmare
and turn a monster into nothing but a mask.
The curtain call for every PlayDate
and dress-up rehearsal,
all the world a fabulously-dressed guest,
a sparkling and ghoulish theatergoer.
Each takes her turn,
then his,
emerging from offstage as
Mistress Goddess Queen of Glamour Herself
and King Dragon Slayer Captain Triumph.
At the last call, to the applause of onethousand
bronze-armed trees and the grinning glee of
each glowing gourd face,
they rise
red and blue capes,
broomsticks and
rocketshoes,
fairy wings and wands swirling breathlessly
into the red carpet sky,
snapped clean by the admiring wind.
They shine,
and light up the night of the last great show of the season.
October 29, 2006
Yes, we know. We're clever.
We went to a Halloween Party last night, the kind where you're required to wear a costume. We weren't really stoked on the costume thing, but after talking with Winter about their dress-up genius, we got in the spirit and were able to pull off some crowd favorites with just a little bit of wit and stitching. What follows are instructions on how to put together two great costumes out of stuff you probably already have and that allow you to not look or feel like an idiot.
THE MENTAL PATIENT
Start with white linen pants, or blue/grey/tan. Doesn't have to be linen, but avoid flannels and sweats, otherwise you just look sleepy. No denim, and preferably no pockets. Next: a long sleeve shirt in any of the aforementioned colors, worn inside out. On the back, write or pin/sew a square that says some variation of: "Sac County Mental Corrections, Patient 34052." On the front, do the same with just your patient id #. This also helps defend you against that awful "What are you supposed to be?" question. With arms in the sleeves, cross them in the front and tie/sew/pin them as far back as is comfortable. This acheives the 'straight jacket' look. Extra points if you can include buckles or leather belts. Complete the attire with mismatched footwear. I chose one slipper and one flip-flop, with a hole-y blue and orange sock on under the flipflop. (Remember- mental patients don't get shoes with laces!) Top it off with the appropriate hair and make-up: Hair should be bedheaded and disheveled, the messier the better, maybe even a bit dirty. This is easiest to accomplish with short hair, and even better if you can acheive the 'choppy, super-short bangs' a la Angelina and Penelope in Girl, Interrupted and Gothika, respectively. (note: your arms are restrained, so avoid having too much hair in your face) Finally: break with continuity and, if you're female, apply make-up. Extensive and haphazard application is best. Black or dark eyeliner all around the top and bottom of the eye (smeared strategically to make sure you don't look like you've been punched twice) gives off that mad-woman, Mommie-Dearest, Hell-hath-no-fury vibe. Effective: sad and crazy. Upon arriving at the party and 'playing your part', the eye makeup really comes into its own when you make your 'I once ate 3 forks because the couch told me to' crazy face. To counterbalance the disturbing eyes, find the reddest lipstick you can and apply it to most of your lips and a little bit of your face-around-the-lips. This says, "i'm unstable enough to have to wear this straight jacket when i go on field trips, but i have just enough semblance of sanity to know that a proper lady never leaves the house without her lippy!" It makes for a more rounded and sympathetic character. If you have a partner, they can wear all white, carry a bunch of keys and a bottle of pills/syringe, and be your 'handler'.
THE NOT-LYING / NOT-KLEPTO
Dress in your usual attire. Opt for cargo pants and, if possible, a logo-free shirt or sweater with a pocket. Attach/iron on/sharpie the following on the front: I AM NOT A KLEPTOMANIAC, and on the back: OR A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR. Carry a nondescript bag, like a pillowcase in the same color as your pants or shirt. Upon arriving at the party, your bag should already contain some random items, ie: a remote control, a dvd, a shoe obviously belonging to a person of the opposite sex, a condiment, and some item of personal value to someone other than yourself, like a framed photo or wallet. This costume is more about performance than look. When you arrive at the party, and people ask you what you're supposed to be, say "Just me tonight. ...unlike that one time i was running secret government ops in Turkmenistan and i had wear a glass eye and forge the identity of a shemale taxi-driver. That was an experience, man." Then take the food/beverage/cell phone/etc out of your friend's hand and walk away, putting said item in your bag. Forethought is very effective; if the hostess is preparing to serve snacks, steal something essential, like the stack of paper plates. If you know people will be making use of the billiard table, steal the white ball. Sneak off to the front entrance and snag keys, shoes, umbrellas, etc. If other costumes involve props like swords, wands, and pom-poms, look for opportunities when the wearer sets their accessory down to pour a drink. The host or hostess is the best target. They are mostly likely distracted by activity and are the central party-figure, so stealing their stuff is the best way to get people to enjoy your costume. Which brings us to the accusations: someone will no doubt take notice of your theft and call you out. This is when indignance comes into play. "I'm just here enjoying the festivities! Why are you being like this? I didn't behave this way when my Porsche and my prize shi-tzu Tammy were stolen on that trip to Reno, did I?" Involving your 'pathological liar' identity helps deflect from the theft. When people insist on looking in your mysterious bag, take umbrage. "I'm not going through your pockets! I could, since I'm an Honorary Federal Deputy because of my work in the JonBenet Ramsey case, but I'm not." Then walk away. Removing yourself from the situation frees you from committing any of your lies to stories. Short lies are good too. When a fellow partier compliments the food, say "Yeah, rice krispy treats. My three adopted Namibian kids love em with M & Ms. Hey, how are you liking that new stereo system you installed?" Changing the subject disallows them from responding to your lie. Extra bonus points if you can get the host's docile pet to stay in your bag until a partygoer notices. Some items won't fit in your bag: an umbrella, a wok, a candelabara. Like the pet, these stolen items are meant to be noticed and removed, but be sure to blame someone else for their 'mysterious' presence in your possession. Finally, don't forget to return stolen items as people leave or at the end of the night. It won't be fun for them if they end up locked out of their house because your klepto-d their keys and forgot to give them back, or if you stole part of a rented costume.
Hopefully it's not too late in Halloween-season for you to use these tips. Have fun with them! Your friends will too!
THE MENTAL PATIENT
Start with white linen pants, or blue/grey/tan. Doesn't have to be linen, but avoid flannels and sweats, otherwise you just look sleepy. No denim, and preferably no pockets. Next: a long sleeve shirt in any of the aforementioned colors, worn inside out. On the back, write or pin/sew a square that says some variation of: "Sac County Mental Corrections, Patient 34052." On the front, do the same with just your patient id #. This also helps defend you against that awful "What are you supposed to be?" question. With arms in the sleeves, cross them in the front and tie/sew/pin them as far back as is comfortable. This acheives the 'straight jacket' look. Extra points if you can include buckles or leather belts. Complete the attire with mismatched footwear. I chose one slipper and one flip-flop, with a hole-y blue and orange sock on under the flipflop. (Remember- mental patients don't get shoes with laces!) Top it off with the appropriate hair and make-up: Hair should be bedheaded and disheveled, the messier the better, maybe even a bit dirty. This is easiest to accomplish with short hair, and even better if you can acheive the 'choppy, super-short bangs' a la Angelina and Penelope in Girl, Interrupted and Gothika, respectively. (note: your arms are restrained, so avoid having too much hair in your face) Finally: break with continuity and, if you're female, apply make-up. Extensive and haphazard application is best. Black or dark eyeliner all around the top and bottom of the eye (smeared strategically to make sure you don't look like you've been punched twice) gives off that mad-woman, Mommie-Dearest, Hell-hath-no-fury vibe. Effective: sad and crazy. Upon arriving at the party and 'playing your part', the eye makeup really comes into its own when you make your 'I once ate 3 forks because the couch told me to' crazy face. To counterbalance the disturbing eyes, find the reddest lipstick you can and apply it to most of your lips and a little bit of your face-around-the-lips. This says, "i'm unstable enough to have to wear this straight jacket when i go on field trips, but i have just enough semblance of sanity to know that a proper lady never leaves the house without her lippy!" It makes for a more rounded and sympathetic character. If you have a partner, they can wear all white, carry a bunch of keys and a bottle of pills/syringe, and be your 'handler'.
THE NOT-LYING / NOT-KLEPTO
Dress in your usual attire. Opt for cargo pants and, if possible, a logo-free shirt or sweater with a pocket. Attach/iron on/sharpie the following on the front: I AM NOT A KLEPTOMANIAC, and on the back: OR A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR. Carry a nondescript bag, like a pillowcase in the same color as your pants or shirt. Upon arriving at the party, your bag should already contain some random items, ie: a remote control, a dvd, a shoe obviously belonging to a person of the opposite sex, a condiment, and some item of personal value to someone other than yourself, like a framed photo or wallet. This costume is more about performance than look. When you arrive at the party, and people ask you what you're supposed to be, say "Just me tonight. ...unlike that one time i was running secret government ops in Turkmenistan and i had wear a glass eye and forge the identity of a shemale taxi-driver. That was an experience, man." Then take the food/beverage/cell phone/etc out of your friend's hand and walk away, putting said item in your bag. Forethought is very effective; if the hostess is preparing to serve snacks, steal something essential, like the stack of paper plates. If you know people will be making use of the billiard table, steal the white ball. Sneak off to the front entrance and snag keys, shoes, umbrellas, etc. If other costumes involve props like swords, wands, and pom-poms, look for opportunities when the wearer sets their accessory down to pour a drink. The host or hostess is the best target. They are mostly likely distracted by activity and are the central party-figure, so stealing their stuff is the best way to get people to enjoy your costume. Which brings us to the accusations: someone will no doubt take notice of your theft and call you out. This is when indignance comes into play. "I'm just here enjoying the festivities! Why are you being like this? I didn't behave this way when my Porsche and my prize shi-tzu Tammy were stolen on that trip to Reno, did I?" Involving your 'pathological liar' identity helps deflect from the theft. When people insist on looking in your mysterious bag, take umbrage. "I'm not going through your pockets! I could, since I'm an Honorary Federal Deputy because of my work in the JonBenet Ramsey case, but I'm not." Then walk away. Removing yourself from the situation frees you from committing any of your lies to stories. Short lies are good too. When a fellow partier compliments the food, say "Yeah, rice krispy treats. My three adopted Namibian kids love em with M & Ms. Hey, how are you liking that new stereo system you installed?" Changing the subject disallows them from responding to your lie. Extra bonus points if you can get the host's docile pet to stay in your bag until a partygoer notices. Some items won't fit in your bag: an umbrella, a wok, a candelabara. Like the pet, these stolen items are meant to be noticed and removed, but be sure to blame someone else for their 'mysterious' presence in your possession. Finally, don't forget to return stolen items as people leave or at the end of the night. It won't be fun for them if they end up locked out of their house because your klepto-d their keys and forgot to give them back, or if you stole part of a rented costume.
Hopefully it's not too late in Halloween-season for you to use these tips. Have fun with them! Your friends will too!
October 26, 2006
reminder...
October 31st is a great evening to do your Christmas shopping (don't hate me for bringing It up) because you probably just got paid, the malls stay open their regular hours, and there are no crowds... except for the weirdos who take their kids trick-or-treating at the mall, which = depressing. You'll be glad you did it so early. ...unless all the people you got gifts for decide to wait til December 19th to tell you they all talked and decided not to exchange gifts this year!! If you have relatives/friends/in-laws who are capable of pulling this dastardly trick, remember to keep your receipts. Then sneak expired eggnog into their mugs when they're not looking.
October 23, 2006
movie review
The PrestigeChristian Bale, Hugh Jackman, Michael Caine ....and a guy they call DAVID BOWIE
Ok. This movie is about two magicians, Rupert Angier (Jackman) and Alfred Borden (Bale) who begin as friends and quickly become rivals. Their rivalry is not the fun kind- it's bitter and violent. Each man tries to trip up, one up, and mess up the other as they struggle to become the premiere magician in turn-of-the-century London. Trapped in the battle are Cutter (Michael Caine, complete with his cockney accent) as Angier's partner and engineer, Olivia (Scarlett Johansson) as the beautiful-assistant-turned-bait, and Borden's wife and daughter. When Borden appears to master 'The Vanishing Man' and Angier can't figure out how he does it, Angier goes to America to track down the infamous Nikola Tesla (David Bowie) and get some answers.
It is twists and turns, obsessions, deceit and it gets violent. In retrospect, there were only a few incidents of violence, but the intimacy of them leaves a significant mark on the movie so that it feels much more violent than it actually was. i couldn't decide whether i was on Angier's team or Borden's. Borden is the bad guy, but Angier's obsession is so intense that it's like watching your friend battle an unhealthy addiction. For this reason, the movie seems repetitive, but only until the next twist. Just when you think you can expect a certain outcome, it switches, then switches back, then flips inside out. It's all so spinny and interwoven that the four of us who went all had different understandings of the what and why and who. i should've known it would be so dark and twisty: it was written and directed by Christopher Nolan, who did Memento, Insomnia and Batman Begins. Ultimately its about not accepting the world as it is, and trying to make something more out of it....whether you're genuinely making magic, or just employing a little slight of hand to make people 'ooh' and 'ahh' and escape for an hour or so. It's lavish, intense and addictive. And easy on the eyes :P
Highly recommended- 4 out of 5 smashed canaries
October 19, 2006
Sooo...does this mean i don't exist?
| HowManyOfMe.com | ||
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October 18, 2006
gourd-tastic
At Ye Olde Annual Pumpkin Demolishing In The Name Of Art & Agritainment, i won the 'over achiever award' for sculpting TRES veggies. Here are the rest of the many-improvised-award-winning entries. They include 'Is That A Penguin?', 'Conjoined Twins', 'I Like Trees, OK?', 'Artsy Square Things', 'Ode To Tim Burton' and 'I Didn't Know Pumpkins Had Nostrils':
Then SOMEONE decided to be a diva and stick a road flare in his pumpkin. i won't say who, but his name doesn't rhyme with anything because it's Travis. Anyway, here are los pumpkinos in the lig
ht.
After the Fest, i went with Bondy (Bonnie & Andy) and Tyler & Heather (Tyther?) to the Hawes Ranch Corn Maze. TEN ACRES of 12ft tall corn with THREE MILES of trail in the shape of Johnny Cash (cuz that's how we roll in the Rdg) and we went at 11:30 at night with no map or flashlight. There were guys who would jump out of the corn with chainsaws...which was a tiny bit scary, if you like massive understatements. Just when we thought we were close to the end, we came across stairs and a bridge-lookout-thingy that allowed us to mount and observe that, oh no, we were nowhere near the beginning, we were in the dead center of Johnny. (in retrospect, i should've known they wouldn't put the lookout-thingy near the finish line) Oy. So, once more into the darkness and a few wrong turns later, we made it out (physically) unharmed.
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