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Denny: How can you ban red meat?
Client: Well, they've got a whole campaign. They plan to promote Summersport as the seafood capital of the world.
Denny: We're carnivores. When the pilgrims landed, first thing they did was eat a few Indians. I'll argue it myself. Ban red meat. That cannot pass Constitutional mustard.
Shirley: The word is "muster," Denny, but you're right, the law lacks condiments.
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Alan: [to his girlfriend, in a bar] Hello, I'm a complete stranger and I'm here to pick you up. [notices Joe] Oh, I see, there's two of us. I'll be evens, you be odds.
Joe: You got a problem?
Alan: No, actually. I just saw this fair maiden here talking to a tree trunk, and since I'm an arborist I thought I could help translate.
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Alan: [to Laurie, after she catches him making out w/Sally in the library] Laurie, you disapprove of me. That warms my cockles!
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The reaction shots of the rest of the cast is half the fun, and Denny spends the majority of his time in court sleeping. Sometimes they even acknowledge they're a tv show (even though it's not a reality show). Denny once asked someone, 'TiVo me, will ya?' and Alan has said 'Ah, Denny, I've hardly seen you this episode.' Cracks. Me. Up. This show rocks, i love it, and you should too. i think they're on summer hiatus or showing reruns, so go to Blockbuster and rent the first season.
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