not miserable

Being that i'm just shy of 7 months pregnant, and being that the genetic lottery has determined i'm a relatively lithe person, and being that maternity clothes are UUUUUUGLY and i have no budget for them anyway so i'm just stretching my regular t-shirts and tank tops over the basketball attached to my torso, it's safe to say i'm noticeably pregnant. This of course leads to strangers engaging in conversation with me about my 'state'. The checker at Chevron, the guy at Costco, strangers at church, people in parking lots....en totum. It usually goes something like this:

How far along are you?

When are you due?

Oh, all summer huh?

Do you know what you're having?

Do you have a name picked out?

Is this your first?

Are you excited?

Friends and acquaintances ask if i'm tired of strangers getting all up in my biz and asking awkward questions, but i'm honestly not. (And not just because the questions are usually accompanied by compliments about how great i look.) So far no one has asked me anything terribly personal and, aside from the aforementioned Chevron checker asking 'so are you totally miserable?' i haven't fielded anything i wasn't prepared to answer. The way i see it, people see 'pregnancy' in flashing neon and an instinctual excitement clicks on and they want to connect with it in the only socially acceptable way available to them: conversation. We pass a hundred people every day in the grocery store, coffee shop, bank, etc and have no known way of connecting with them beyond a gripe about gas prices or a comment on what's in the produce section, so when there's something that inspires a fundamental sense of shared experience, who am i to begrudge what comes out of that? Every person born becomes a part of our experience as citizens, and in Times Like These, when things are being slashed and tightened and restricted and hoarded, anything representing abundance and growth and future has an extra measure of wonder thrust upon it. i'm fine with that. You should be too. As thinking and feeling as we humans are, we are also primal creatures. Primally, when our species reproduces, it means we'll have someone to care for us when we're old and infirm and it means the work we accomplish in our lifetimes will not have been in vain because there are future members to take advantage of it and to continue it on to greater purposes. It doesn't bother me when strangers quiz me about my state of fertility, not because i'm soooo enlightened, but because it's obvious they're excited and since i'm excited, why can't we all be excited together? It's good for the tribe. i obviously don't speak for every pregnant woman waddling around in the world right now and there are certainly those who guard their privacy moreso than i do mine, but this is me telling you that if you encounter a pregnant stranger, it is okay to engage her in polite conversation in order to express your primal joy. (Remember: it is not okay to touch her stomach any more than it is okay to touch a non-pregnant stranger's stomach.) Saying, "observing your fertility has made me excited" is NOT a good idea (especially if you're a man) because she'll think you're a dangerously weird pregophile, but you can say, "a baby on the way! That's exciting! Gooo species!!" or something to that effect. Okay? Glad we had this little chat.

**Edited to add: Erin K. reminded me of one line of questioning i've received that, although frightfully prevalent, does NOT fall under the umbrella of 'appropriate' or 'polite' and that is the, 'Were you trying to have a baby?' or 'Was this planned?' angle. i simply do not understand what answer people are looking for with this question. If the answer is 'yes', well then.....boring. If the answer is 'no' then, isn't that awkward? "Oh. So you didn't want to have a baby right now but you're pregnant so.....i'm sorry?" It's just a bizarre line of questioning that yields no fruitful conversation AND is NONE of your business! Honestly. Just be primally enthusiastic that the species is continuing and don't concern yourself with whether it was due to months of temperature-taking and strategically timed hankypanky, one night of boozy inhibition, or anything in between.

Here's something completely unrelated that restores my faith in humankind: