ahh, spellers...

...the only 12 and 13yr old kids who list their favorite foods as 'dark chocolate' instead of 'HOT POCKETS!' and their personal heroes as 'Nupur Lala' and 'Amelia Earhart' instead of 'THE GIRL FROM TWILIGHT!!!!'.

Congrats to Kavya Shivashankar, who just won the 2009 Scripps National Spelling Bee with the correct spelling of "laodicean".

Song #8

We're getting to the really good stuff, comrades!
Similar to how Tom Petty made the list, i knew in the earliest days of crafting The Topmost that Ben Harper should be included. Story time!
The time: Spring of 2000, freshman year of PLNU. My boyfriend had just yanked the rug out from under me and dumped my already-angsty little heart. i told my mother. Mysteriously, my older brother called the next day with the mysterious desire to take me out to lunch. Yeah. Mysterious fish, i did smell. So he picked me up at school (since i was a lowly dorm-bound freshman with no car) and off we drove into the funky heart of goofy li'l Ocean Beach. We made small talk. Then he said he 'has a song' for me, and put in a cd and chose a track. It was Ben Harper (who i'd never heard or heard of) singing 'Another Lonely Day', the first line of which is 'Yes indeed, i'm alone again. Here comes emptiness crashing in.' i was no dummy, even back then, and was pretty clear on the impetus for the lunch date. i said 'so i guess you talked to mom.' He said something like 'Yeah. Sucks. Sorry.' That was about the extent of discussion of that subject and we let the song play. He bought me a sandwich at a weird little deli and we had our lunch and he returned me to campus and probably said something like 'hang in there' but i don't remember. i really just remember him playing me the song.
A little over a year later, in the summer before junior year, Jason gave me 2 cds he'd grown tired of listening to and thought i might like. They were Ben Harper albums: 'Welcome to the Cruel World' and 'Will to Live.' i was entranced. It was a very complicated summer. My roommate was a friend who was quickly turning out to be a monster, i couldn't figure out if i really wanted to be with the boy who'd dumped me or if just didn't want to be alone, and i was about to move to Italy. i used to get overwhelmed by it all and drive to a parking lot and sit listening to the two albums (even Mama's Trippin'). Three years after that, when i married the boy who'd dumped me, we danced with our parents to Ben Harper's 'Waiting on An Angel' and our last dance of the night was to 'Forever'. His collaboration with the Blind Boys of Alabama is one of maybe 6 cds i've purchased in the last 5 years. i think his lyrics are true and i love his voice.
i chose 'Walk Away' for the top 15 list, which may be kind of odd since it's a sad break-up song, but i just love it. i think it demonstrates his vocals pretty well, but is just an excellent example of good lyric-writing. It's hard to write a break-up song that is true to the pain while resisting wallowing and camp and also containing the slightest bit of optimism. This one is wonderful. My favorite parts are 'You put the Happy in my ness' and 'Time has taken my Tomorrows and turned them into Yesterdays.' Good stuff.
Please to enjoy: Ben Harper performing my song #8, 'Walk Away.'

Weekend of the Almighty Asterisk

Jason and Winter came and visited us for Memorial Day weekend! They didn't stop by on their way to or from somewhere, they came TO US, FOR US. We are special peeps. Here is what we did with our timity-time-time:

-Saw the bastard hybrid of Jim Krasinksi & Michael Phelps*
-Had the best gutful of In N Out EVER**
-Made Penny look like a rabbit
-Wandered through the Arboretum and visited The World's Largest Sundial***
-Just about killed Jason
-Went grocery shopping (no really, it was fun)
-Made the kickest-ass meal ever crafted at 1142 Walnut****
-Played Settlers of Catan*****
-Watched 'Late Night With Jimmy Fallon'******
-Went Aqua Golfing (the balls float)
-Visted the winery and got harassed by a drunk rancher
-Saw the Largest Privately-Owned Waterfall*******
-Baked some souffles********
-Watched all the best episodes of Arrested Development*********
-Smelled and saw Shasta Dam**********
-Visited the Baker Country Club for a swim, steak dinner, and outdoor fireplace sit-around
-Saw Sue!***********
-Met a gorgeous barn owl
-Observed masterful uses of Legos
-Discussed iphones************

As you can see, it was a weekend of spectacle, intrigue, and giggles. Thanks for coming to visit us! We really do feel honored and hope to return the favor soon.
___
*he wasn't what you would call 'classically good-looking'
**Thanks to Charles in Woodland for delivering the savory
***That Is Also A Bridge
****Any previous meals prepared by the previous owners and ibvolving Special Herbs do not count
*****Two times!
******Three times! We heart Jimmy.
*******In The State Of California
********Two times! (oops)
*********And the worst Arrested Development episodes are still better than the best thing on tv right now
**********The spillway of which is the largest man-made waterfall in the WORLD!
***********The largest and most complete T. Rex skeleton in the WORLD!
************Eleventy-billion times!

Recession Haircut

Every summer (for the past 2 summers, at least) we have dropped Cosmo off at the vet and returned a matter of hours later to a terrified, freakish version of his former self. He is so, SO big, with such long hair and such affection for stickers and all sorts of ghastly things a cat can roll around in, that to maintain a proper humans-to-plant-and-insect ratio inside the home we have to do some feline deforestation. Well, this year there is an economic decline- maybe you've heard a thing or two about it, i dunno, EVERYWHERE- so we thought we'd give the DIY try and shave the poor guy ourselves. For the record, this is what he looks like normally:

This is how he turns out when the professionals do it:

And this is what he looks like after 3 of us screw around with the electric razor for 10 minutes before realizing it's 11pm and this will have to take at least an hour:

friends in high places

Here is why i like being friends with Jesse and Lyn: They are nice. They like beer and funny tv. They are not necessarily better than me at Settlers of Catan. Also? They give me writing jobs. Tonight i am writing scripts for radio spots and the 'vibe' i was instructed to use was something along the lines of 'cool and smart, with a touch of smirk. Think Brad Pitt in Ocean's Eleven.' So poor, poor me has to sit at my computer and listen to funky-sly music and look at this dastardly image all evening.

Late Night with the H-Bomb

Every once in a while i cruise through the television schedule to see if anyone interesting will be on the late night circuit (Leno, Letterman, Fallon, etc) and then i set the DVR to record to whatever catches my fancy. (ahhh, that crazy Fancy. So elusive that few things can ever catch it. And what is done with the Fancy once it is caught? NO IDEA. But it somehow manages to escape every time. Good old Fancy. Elusive like a fox.) Right now i'm watching last night's Letterman, which i recorded because it said Tom Hanks and The Killers would be on. i figured that was a pretty good lineup and David Letterman is my 3rd favorite late night host.

So now i'm watching and i just keep thinking 'DEAR GOD, HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE I SAW TOM HANKS?? AND HOW HAVE I LIVED WITHOUT HIM ALL THIS TIME???' A quick imdb search verifies that the most recent Tom Hanks movie i've seen was The Terminal, which was in 2004. Granted, i've caught bits of Cast Away and Philadelphia on tv now and then, but i haven't seen The DaVinci Code or Charlie Wilson's War, his most recent big-time projects. Now Angels & Demons is coming out so he's peddling it around. Maybe it was fatigue, maybe delirium from only leaving the 4 walls of our home office twice in 10 hours, maybe he's actually Beelzebub and has evil powers of influence, but as soon as Tom Hanks started palling around with Dave, i felt like everything in the world would be okay. The recession, the war, the environment, etc. It would all be resolved or something or other...i'm not sure how, but having Tom Hanks around will make it okay. Here's what's odd about this whole burst of Hanks-love: i was never exactly over the moon for the guy in the first place. i think Forrest Gump was wildly overrated. i mean, sure, i liked him and thought he was a fun actor to watch, but i always thought he was just a glorified Everyman. Now i know: HE IS A GLORIOUS EVERYMAN. i have officially added him to the esteemed list of 'People I Would Pay To Listen To While They Read The Phone Book Or Something Equally Boring Like The Stimulus Package Paperwork Or Maybe Something Really Lame Like 'Twilight', Yeah, I Said It'. (other dignitaries include Eartha Kitt and Harry Shearer) i can't really explain it, but charisma and familiarity came together and i experienced a renewed affection for America's Favorite.

Also, since we're talking about Late Night telly, how great is Jimmy Fallon? The answer is 'really great!' His time on SNL was fun, but not exceptional. The talk show is his true vehicle. His boyish enthusiasm makes for authentic affection between the host and his guests. And i love Max Weinberg as much as the next person, but Fallon has The Roots doing his music. THE ROOTS! He must have sold his soul to Tom Hanks for that privilege. Good times. 

Twitter addicts be warned

Someone has put a great deal of time and effort into mocking you, and i'm rewarding their decision by passing that mock along to this blog's enormous, rabid throng of fans.

The Rarely-Seen Jekyll to his Hyde

This must seem like when the production crew on the Planet Earth documentary finally got footage of the elusive snow leopard. In actuality, our Vicious Monster can actually be quite the cuddler. It's much like he's embarrassed of his love for us and can therefore only show affection when no one is around. Another apt metaphor would be that of your standard abusive relationship. He abuses us- attacks our ankles, jumps on our faces while we sleep, bosses us around- and then just when we're ready to pack up and leave in the night, there he is with flowers and apologies and toasty, soft fur, and we're puddy in his paws.

Song #9

GAH! i'm upset at the internet. i wanted to post an mp3 or a video of my #9 song for you to examine and subsequently completely love (because i have super taste and because you are impressionable) but i cannot make it happen. i could embed a subpar live version or a cover, but it's not the same. i'm upset. i need to watch THIS again because i'm irrationally bothered that i cannot snap my fingers and put this song on my bliggityblog.
Sigh.

So, my #9 song is 'Square One' by Tom Petty. When i first started crafting my Top 15 list i began with a handful of artists who i loved and who have formed me into the supreme being you want to live and shop with. Tom Petty was one of the first i listed. i can remember his Wildflowers album coming out when i was in junior high, and how the song 'You Don't Know How It Feels' became my personal anthem for a while. That song, coupled with the title track, made me believe that even if i was a weird-looking, dorky, confused kid for the rest of my life, Tom Petty would still care about me. It was one of the first cds i ever bought (and i don't buy very many cds) and i had the entire album memorized. Front-runners for the 'Tom Petty Representational Song on Kallie's Top 15' included 'Don't Fade on Me' and 'Higher Ground' as well as 'Wildflowers'. There are other songs worthy of being called his best, but i eventually settled on 'Square One', off the more recent 'Highway Companion' album that John bought while we were housemates. (John bought a new cd at least every week and i would dutifully steal them, upload them into my iTunes, and return them). i chose this song because i felt it best represents Tom Petty's optimism, lyricism, and musicality, my three favorite things about his work. Since i can't embed the song, here are the lyrics and you are hereby assigned to buy it from iTunes and listen to it in its entirety. Then repeat.

Had to find some higher ground
Had some fear to get around
You can't say what you don't know
Later on won’t work no more

Last time though I hid my tracks
So well I could not get back
Yeah my way was hard to find
Can't sell your soul for peace of mind

Square one, my slate is clear
Rest your head and meet my dear
It took a world of trouble, it took a world of tears
It took a long time to get back here

Try so hard to stand alone
Struggle to see past my nose
Always had more dogs than bones
I could never wear those clothes
It's a dark victory
You won and you are so lost
Told her you were satisfied
But it never came across

Square one, my slate is clear
Rest your head on me my dear
It took a world of trouble, it took a world of tears
It took a long time to get back here

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