i read Twilight so you don't have to

Okay world, i read Twilight. Out of principle i waited several months until the Shasta County library's only copy became available because i refused to pay good (and short-in-supply) money for it. i did not want to read it, but enough of my friends were fans and enough people asked my opinion of it that i decided to form an educated judgment. Plus, once upon a time i refused to get into the Harry Potter fanaticism and i am now full Pottermaniac.

Twilight. Ohhhhhhhhhh Twilight. i am not a fan or a maniac. i am a detractor. And i'm deeply concerned in general. For the unfamiliar, Twilight is the story of a teenager named Bella who moves from her mom's house in Arizona to her semi-estranged father's home in Forks, WA. She is an odd-girl-out and is the new kid in school. She has no friends in Forks, no real relationship with her father, and didn't leave any friends behind in Arizona. On her first day in Biology, her desk partner, a preternaturally attractive boy named Edward, appears to loathe her with every fiber of his being. Oh, and his eyes change from topaz to black. Even though he seems to hate her and treats her with contempt, Bella becomes obsessed with him. Long story short, he is a 107 year old vampire and they become friends and then lovebirds. Edward can read minds, but not Bella's because she is special. She also has a special scent that makes him really REALLY want to drink her blood. These factors make him love her even though he has not wanted to be friends or lovers with a human in 107 years, and it's all kinds of dangerous for him to do so.

The writing is bad, not atrocious, but still bad. Stephanie Meyer writes like a juvenile in that she uses way too many adjectives all the time. Also, the plot doesn't really go anywhere but round and round and round while Edward and Bella make cutesy eyes at each other- well, scratch that- while Edward bosses Bella around, laughs at her humanity, and SNEAKS INTO HER ROOM EVERY NIGHT TO WATCH HER SLEEP EVEN BEFORE THEY ARE DATING and while Bella obssesses over a boy who seems to alternate loathing her and being amused by her. i wish i had counted how many times Edward's responses to Bella were described as 'mocking' or 'laughing'. He also physically manuevers her everywhere. He's always steering her, picking her up, etc. Meyer uses it to characterize him as a strong, romantic and chivalrous. i saw it as controlling, manipulative and moody. Frankly, i thought the guy was an ass and a sociopath. Here's a list of the qualities millions of people are swallowing as romantic and perfect and all that:
He tells Bella she is his personal brand of heroin.
He follows her around when she is out with her acqaintances, including when they take trips out of town to go shopping.
He climbs into her room at night to watch her sleep and to eavesdrop on her talking in her sleep.
He repeatedly tells her how he could kill her at any second and that he's dangerous to be around. So he continues to follow her around and watch her sleep.
He insults and chastises her for wanting to be around him.
He acts like her clumsiness in PE will kill her if he's not around to protect her.
He menaces other boys who talk to her.
He tricks her into going to the prom even though she doesn't want to (this includes choosing her dress and shoes and deciding on her hair and makeup.)
He insults her driving and insists on either taking his fancy Volvo everywhere or taking her beat up truck but only with him driving.
He isolates her from the few social connections she has.

Now, i don't know about you, but i've seen enough episodes of Oprah to know an abusive person when i read about him. The reason millions of fans find this prick perfect, romantic, etc is because he is all this.... and PRETTY. No, 'dazzling'. His vampireness evidently makes him 'marbled' and 'glittering' and 'sculpted'. (GAG) Where have America's brains gone??? The guy is a creep and the character of Bella is the sort of lonely, weak-willed void of personality that perpetuates these sorts of relationships.

i understand how the story can be addictive, light-hearted page-turning fun, but there are too many books in the world for me to spend time on these. Anne Rice did vampires already, and she did it better. Go read those. Or if you're a young adult, read Harry Potter again. It's about friendship and acceptance and education, not about how many times your blood-drinking boyfriend can treat you like an dumbass for being in love with him.