odds and ends

or, if we're speaking in Jeopardy categories, which we should be. always., "Potpourri."

We were awokended in the wee hours of the night/morning/i don't know because i can't read the clock without my contacts in by the ferocious growling of our dog all the way on the other end of the house. Now, Penny is a snorer and sometimes an active dreamer, but intense growling is not part of her nighttime routine. The doorbell, as it does for most dogs, exhibits a very dramatic reaction, as does the opening of the side-yard gate, arborists, little old ladies passing out Mormon magazines, and the occasional child walking home from school. Needless to say, she is territorial. So when growling to raise Beelzebub's goosebumps commences in the middle of the night, we naturally assume we're about to get: robbed, tied up, fed our own fingers and toes, and then hacked into pieces by a very bad baddie, in that order. Being the brave, modern woman i am, i sent my husband out in his underpants to investigate. It was worse than a bloodthirsty killer and all the more worthy of such a chilling growl of defense: it was a possum, smaller than our cat, moseying through the leaves. DANGER! We've done the possum dance before (it's nothing like the foxtrot) and haven't had an issue since. This was probably a rogue wanderer but he/she continued in the tradition of his/her forepossums by making sure we got no sleep. Once you're awoken (or awakened or wokeded up) with your life flashing before your eyes, it's hard to drift back to dreamland.

Second. i had jury duty today; i arrived at 8 and left at 4 and was not chosen to serve. i was the 5th person called to the box in the morning and was fully prepared to serve. In the end, the defense excused me and i'm pretty sure i know why. The potential jury was presented with a hypothetical situation by the defense. Say a police officer testified, 'it was night time,' and a civilian testified, 'it was day time,' and there was no physical evidence to corroborate either claim. Would you have a bias toward or against one of the testimonies? i raised my hand, in the complete assumption that there would be others in agreement. Mine was the lone hand. (cue tumbleweed) i was asked to explain, and i said that i would be more inclined to believe a police officer's testimony in the case of a 'he said/she said' situation. "Without knowing the background of either person?" the defense attorney asked, "simply because the police officer is a police officer?" Yes. A police officer's testimony is more credible to me, i said, because i trust the institution that installed that individual as a police officer. If the civilian's background included a similar level of credibility, then i would have to decide between the two testimonies or discard them both. But without backgrounds? Yeah, i'm going to go with the officer of the law. Do i think there are shady police out there? Yup. i also think there are moral mobsters. But i'm going to err on the side of the person sworn to uphold the law and trained to observe and assess situational details. The defense attorney posited my perspective to a few other jurors and their responses were along the lines of, 'Noooo! i wouldn't be biased, i would be fair and uphold the judicial laws of America, KALLIE.' It was really annoying and kind of surreal. i honestly didn't expect the rest of the jury to completely throw me under the bus. Here's the thing: from the time we're old enough to understand 'blue uniform' and 'badge', we're taught to unilaterally trust police officers, are we not? You get lost from mommy and daddy in the park? Find Officer Friendly and it will be okay! (And his cousin Firefighter Friendly is busy getting your kittycat out of the tree!) But now that you're an adult and paying taxes and dealing with things like the safety of your neighborhood, we want you to treat police officers like every John or Jane you ignored or were scared of in the park that day 30 years ago. Huh?? Whatever, Mr. Defense Attorney. You were shifty and in gross need of a haircut. And whatever, Other Potential CoJurors. You were all lying because you wanted to be picked for the Varsity Jury Team.

Third, Matt Damon is a brilliant actor. He really is. i can't wait to watch Good Will Hunting on the Turner Classic Movies channel with my grandchildren. Except by then tvs will be embedded in our fingers and our phones will be biologically programmed in our thumbs.

Fourth, we're going to see how long we can go before we turn on the heater this year. Place your bets.

Fifth, my favorite, favorite, favorite boots are on their farewell tour, since i've more than worn out the $13 i paid for them. They can't be worn in inclement weather, given the deteriorating soles. Get your tickets to the swan song.

questionable fences

We got a note from our neighbors in our mailbox today, asking us to please clean up our front yard asap as it is an eyesore. i'm pretty upset about it, mostly because i'm already embarrassed by the state of our yard on a daily basis and to have a stranger point it out only drives the point further. i'm also upset because there's very little we can do about how ugly it is. There's no sprinkler system to water what little grass there may or may not be from month to month, and we can't afford to put one in anyway. We're trying to make house payments and car payments and pay for the air conditioner that died, and in between those bills we eek out what few projects we can handle on the inside of the house. The front yard was in shambles when we purchased our home and will require a major overhaul to beautify it, as in, completely excavating it and rearranging everything. Until then, we have no desire or ability to dump a hundred dollars here and there into making it semi-presentable. If you know what our parents' yards look like you know what kind of standards we come from. Suffice it to say, we hate our yard too and no neighbor can possibly be more embarrassed by it than we are. We know ours is the ugliest house on the block and knowing that sucks. But we don't have a functional bath tub. And there's mold growing where the dog likes to lay all day. And there are portions of dirt floor. And there are areas where there's no real ceiling. And when it rains we have to come home from work to divert the deluge from flooding our living room. Not to mention less drastic but nonethless bothersome items, like the fact that if you're not careful, you'll hit your head on the sink when you're on the toilet, or the presence of cheap wood paneling where there should be insulation and dry wall, or the shower door with the fugly crane embossed on it. When they bought their home (the same time we bought ours) there was already grass and landscaping. When we bought ours, it was a wreck. The only thing growing at 1142 Walnut was the pot the previous owners were growing in the garage. That should give you an idea of the kind of upkeep that wasn't happening before we took possession. We do take pride in our home, but when our hands are tied, where is that pride supposed to go? It sucks.

we had a baby

The first harvest from our humble veggie garden. Josh named it Curtis.

it grooooooooows!

full sun

We are attempting to grow stuff! Alarmingly, it's kind of our first attempt in almost 5 years of marriage. You could say that we 'grew' Cosmo, but since he started out as a tiny, happy kitty with short hair and is now an angry behemoth swamp thing that frightens small children, i'd say we failed at that. Penny was already full grown when we adopted her, and thank Jebus because we probably would've screwed her up. i killed some cacti that we tried to grow in the house and that's been about it. Frankencat viciously stalks and attacks any flowers we put in vases, so plants around the house is kind of a lost cause. Now we're turning over a new leaf (if we can get a single leaf). We bought some seeds, bought some dirt, and are on our way to veggies! (hopefully) Come back for the harvest; it should be ....unique.

On the advantages of drought and dry heat

Looks like Mother Nature has a case of the Mondays. That's our mailbox:
This is the creek that runs beside our house and under the street....well, it USUALLY runs under the street. Not today. That's our car:
And this is our yard, which has a 2 foot retaining wall down to the sidewalk, which is of course higher than the street. Under normal conditions, of course. The red car is kindly demonstrating how the street in front of OUR house is the worst section.
Josh came home for lunch just in time to change into his best rain gear and start building dams to keep the deluge out of our house. And he was clever enough to measure the amount of water he had INSIDE his boots. (about 1 measuring cup each)

arriva derci, due mila otto

This is the time of year when humans go nuts making lists of things done and things to do because a committee somewhere in science and history determined that there needed to be a 'year' and it needed to end and begin in a single second. The rest of the birds, trees, beasties and elements go about their business because the whole calendar thing is pretty darn arbitrary, but we make lists because it helps with closure...which is another odd thing the birds, trees, beasties and elements don't need or understand. Here is the joshandkallie list of what 2008 was:
The Year of the Penny- we adopted our spotty darling and all the accompanying bliss and chaos. We learned of her affection for trash and discovered some mad skills in the area of hallway racing.
The Year of the Pavilion- we came to terms with the architectural actuality of the 'addition' on our house, tore the 'walls' out and created a rad 'pavilion'. (available for weddings and functions and ideal for karaoke parties)
The Year of Gainful Employment- Josh became a Creative Design Manager and i became a Marketing Coordinator. We discovered what 2 full-time salaries feels like... and what 2 full-time schedules feels like. i take comfort in having a smaller salary but a bigger and better office.
The Year of the CityLetter- we took trips to San Francisco to party with the Party family, to Portland to visit all kinds of peeps, to the coast to camp in happiness, and to Bremerton & Seattle to visit old housemate John and old college mates J & Winter. There were also a handful of trips to Oroville and Lodi but i can't seem to finish those letters....
The Year of Triumph Over Critters- we ousted - and more importantly, KEPT OUT - the possums/skunks/raccoons that had taken up residence in our walls.
The Year of Milestones- Josh became an official Nazarene, got his iPhone and new tv, Travis turned 30, Kassie & Frank got married, and i got a NEEEWWW CAAAAARRRRRRR!
The Year of Gas Prices, Fires, Primaries, Presidents, & Recessions- we feel like we only had 5 conversations this year, and had them over and over and over and over again.
The Year Our House Turned 50- if you're asking yourself 'wtf?' then you obviously missed the party.
The Year of the New Blog Design- in case you hadn't noticed. Be sure to vote for the next theme. And vote right, dammit. (Don't play dumb, you know what that means.)

Since i stumbled upon and watched The Bridges of Madison County over the weekend (and subsequently cried my eyes out), i shall steal good year-end quote from Clint Eastwood. It's nothing earth-shattering, but i kind of like my earths unshattered every once in a while: "Things change. They always do, it's one of the things of nature. Most people are afraid of change, but if you look at it as something you can always count on, then it can be a comfort."

things i determined this weekend

Wood paneling is the devil

i need much more bookshelving

White dogs are impossible to keep clean

i probably shouldn't wear a diamond ring while i paint

Watermelon is just as good as Hersheys bars

i need a studio to artify in; no space = no art

Pebble is my new favorite wall color