December 19, 2005

Excellent

Mr. Burns, Willy Wonka, and Bruce Wayne all featured in Forbes' 15 Wealthiest Fictional Characters.
No. 5: Burns, Charles Montgomery
Net worth: $8.4 billion
Source: Energy
Age: 104

Marital status: Single, one bastard child
Hometown: Springfield, U.S.A.
Education: Yale University, B.S.
Owner and operator of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant for more than 50 years; also water works and a hotel on Baltic Avenue. Saved millions by canceling company's prescription drug plan, but reinstated same after assistant Smithers' thyroid condition brought him to the brink of death. Bought the Frank Gehry-designed Springfield Concert Hall from the city and turned it into a prison. Struggling Monty Burns Casino chain purchased this year by MGM Mirage for $2.1 billion. Has every disease known to man, and survives only because they perfectly counteract one another, an extremely rare medical condition known as "Three Stooges Syndrome." Credits longevity to Satan. Member since 1989.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Josh,

I need advise. How do you handle the TV? For a while now I've noticed the shows that you two have been watching and is this a trend that begun after you two were married, if so what other changes occure that I should prepare for....I'm worried...Project Runway is starting to invade my relationship also please help.

Sincerly,
trembling in San Diego

Kallie said...

Poor, poor man. Haven't you noticed that Josh has washed his hands of this blog? He barely even reads it, much less controls it. You're in MY world now, Sparky. And in my world, we watch Project Runway and we LOVE IT. Now tell Heidi Klum you're sorry.
Auf wiedersehen.

Kal
BTW-- ask Josh how many hours of football he watched this weekend and you won't be so 'worried.'