written between craft time and bum-licking

Dear Lyn and Jesse,
Hi! How are you? i am great. i hope you are having fun in Canada and in California's northern neighborstates.

Summer camp at Camp Luvamarkle is really fun. My friend Penny goes to the same camp! We play Noisy Wrestlemania whenever we are not taking naps or discussing the G8 conference. There are many places to nap: the rug, the carpet, the bricks, the dirt, my bed, Penny's bed, the couch, the other couch and the window seat. Mostly i nap in the giant window seat because it inflates my sense of self-importance and passersby are led to believe i am the establishment's owner.

There is another animal attending Camp Luvamarkle. i'm told it is a "cat" but the camp directors call it "Suchajerk" or "Seriouslycosmo????" It looks very strange and makes terrifying noises and whenever i hear it or see it my mind goes blank and my feet start moving. i suspect "cat" is another word for "siren demon". Penny helps me chase Suchajerk Seriouslycosmo and it all gets very exciting until the camp directors get out of bed and snap at us and say "Good lord does it EVER get old????". i'm hoping to catch him by the end of the week and when i do i will teach him how to dance around on his back like i like to do. Camp Director Kallie will not let Suchajerk Seriouslycosmo leave camp during the day this week because she says he probably won't ever come back. Camp Director Josh asked why that would be a problem and Camp Director Kallie threw a flip flop at him.

Today we went on a daytrip to Baker Park. i found several stinky grass-patches to roll around in and Penny chased lizards in the mud. Camp Director Kallie pushed Penny in the pool to clean the mud off and Counselor Ashley helped Penny swim to the side and climb out. i was very excited the whole time and i helped Penny dry off by stealing the dino chewy and running away as fast as i could. Park Ranger Sherrie wanted to know why Camp Director Kallie had to push Penny in the pool and get the pool all muddy and couldn't she just hose Penny off?? Camp Director Kallie said it honored the scientists who invented chlorine and pool sweepers to create muddy pool water AND it sharpened Penny's raw survival skills. Park Ranger Sherrie was otherwise very nice and said i was "a good little dog." i ate alot of grass and Camp Director Kallie thanked me for it when i lit up her car with grass farts the whole way back to camp. i tried to say "You're welcome" but it turns out i was not supposed to climb on the steering wheel.

Every day after Nap 23, Penny and i catch up on the Sotamayor confirmation hearings, then we take laps around the pavilion. Then we nap again. Some religious zealots came to the camp door and invited us to a special conference in San Francisco. We barked at them, saying "Your commitment is admirable but we are otherwise religiously inclined canines!! Thank you anyway!! Please take us dogs off your contact list because we are unlikely to convert to your spiritual path and it would be futile to use your time and energy to further evangelize us!! Have a nice day!!!" i think they appreciated our polite forthrightness.

Well, The Colbert Report is almost over so Camp Director Kallie will want the Macbook back. It's time to go dance on my back for a while and then take nap 56 before Penny and i have our evening tie-breaker Noisy Wrestlemania match.

Thanks for sending me to camp- as you can see i'm having a really good time. i miss you though! Come home soon!

Love,
Stella Bea